Slip
Ups
Headlines
that went wrong….
Include
Your Chlidren when Baking Cookies
Something
Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police
Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety
Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should be Belted
Drukn
Gets 9 Months in Violin Case
Survivor
of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Iraqi
Head Seeks Arms
Prostitutes
Appeal to Pope
Panda
Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British
Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung
Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye
Drops Off Shelf
Enraged
Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
Miners
Refuse to Work after Death
Stolen
Painting found by Tree
Clinton
Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Newscasters
and Meteorologists have occasionally been known to slip
up,
so let's take a look at some of their best slip ups....
*
Newscaster: “And from Paris comes word that the police have solved the
27th
strangling of an eleven-year old boy.”
*
Newscaster: “Plans were announced for the parade which will follow the
Governors’
Conference. At 2PM, the cars will leave
their headquarters
just
as soon as the Governors are loaded.”
*
Newscaster: “And word has just reached
us of the passing of Mrs.
Angela
Cirrilio, who died at the age of 87.
Mrs. Cirrilio was a noted
amateur
chef who specialized in Italian cooking.
There are no
survivors.”
*
Newscaster: “This is Dimension; Allen Jackson reporting on the CBS
Radio
Network from New York. Today’s big news
story is the national
spreading
of the flu epidemic, brought to you by the Mennen Company.”
*
Weather Forcaster: “It seems that we haven’t
had much weather lately.
. .
for some reason we don’t get too much of it this time of year.”
*
Weather Forcaster: “Today’s forcast is for rain, with it becoming
sunny
about midnight tonight.”
Kids do say the darndest things. Here are some Christmas Carols they
slaughtered....
*
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
*
We three kings of porridge and tar
*
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
*
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
*
With the jelly toast proclaim
*
Olive, the other reindeer.
*
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
*
Sleep in heavenly peas
*
In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse
and
brown
*
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
*
You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"
*
He's makin a list, chicken and rice.
On
the Perry Mason Program, Walter Pidgeon adressed the witness in the
following
manner: “Answer this question with a
simple yes or no. . .
What
were your feelings towards the murdered man?”
Announcer: “Remember, Lassie disappears in 5 parts,
starting at 6PM
tonight
on Channel 3.”
Spot
Announcement: “When you are thirsty,
try 7-UP, the refreshing
drink
in the green bottle with the big 7 on it and U-P after.”
Station
Break: “Stay tuned for our regular
Sunday broadcast by Reverend
R.
J. Ryan, who will speak on ‘In Spite of Everything’.”
Political
Speech: “And if I’m elected, I can
promise you the finest
local
government that money can buy.”
Public
Service Announcement: “So all of you
younge men be sure to
inquire
about enlistment in this air squadron.
Requirements are
simple: if you have the ability to distinguish basic
colors without the
use
of a hearing aid, you are eligible.”
Heard
on the NBC-TV TODAY program: “Since we
have been on television,
we
have had 50 odd Senators and Representatives on our program.
A first grade teacher collected old, well
known proverbs. She gave
each
kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up
with
the rest. . .
As
You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You... Mess It Up.
Better
Be Safe Than... Punch A 5th Grader.
Strike
While The... Bug Is Close.
It's
Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.
Never
Under Estimate The Power Of... Termites.
You
Can Lead A Horse To Water But... How?
Don't
Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.
No
News Is... Impossible.
A
Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.
You
Can't Teach An Old Dog New... Math.
If
You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning.
Love
All, Trust... Me
The
Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.
An
Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.
Where
There's Smoke, There's... Pollution.
Happy
The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!
A
Penny Saved Is... Not Much.
Two's
Company, Three's... The Musketeers.
Laugh
And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And... You Have To Blow
Your
Nose.
None
Are So Blind As... Helen Keller.
Children
Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.
If
At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.
You
Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.
When
The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.
There
Is No Fool Like... Aunt Eddie.
In
a newspaper:
FOR
SALE BY OWNER
Complete
set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
volumes. excellent
condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married
last
weekend. Wife knows everything.