Cooking up a Climate
We can make this a better world! By Marcus Stringer

The other day I read with horror the account of the bashing, beating, lynching (whatever you want to call it) of my little brother Matthew Shepard. As when by brother James Byrd was lynched in Texas a few months earlier, I asked myself "How could such evil thugs take the life of such a loving, giving person?" Not only that, but why was it done to a person so small and vulnerable? Matthew is on life support, and for all intents and purposes, may never recover consciousness, let alone the full function of his mind and body.

Events like this make me ask if there is a God. I asked this question over and again, not so much because there are people in this world who love to think and act in hate toward others. No, perhaps like the “poor” as Jesus said, evil too will always be with us. I don’t like that thought, and never have. That is the thought that poverty is a foregone conclusion that has always been, is now and will continue to be in our human experience. This proclamation is especially discouraging coming from a person who claimed to be God. If poverty and hate are constants that cannot be stopped, is there hope? How many sweet little Matthews will be beaten nearly or completely to death?

Somehow I cling to a theory of hope, perhaps of my own making and even faulty. I’ll take that risk for now.

What gives me hope is that most likely, Jesus didn’t really mean to say that poverty, pain, and hate are inevitable without question. They are not things that will and must happen in our experience. No. To the contrary. They are things that can and will happen in our experience, given the opportunity.

What I mean is that when the climate, the ingredients are in place, these things (poverty, pain, hate) will occur or even thrive. Now this is good news! All is not lost! If a certain combination of ingredients gives us poverty, pain and hate, we can change the recipe! What a relief. Not so fast.

The situation of Matthew Shepard’s pain is the result of certain ingredients that have been put into this soup of life we all find ourselves in. These ingredients have been added either by our individual or collective activity or neglect. The entire blame does not belong upon the heads of the despicable students who baited and lynched Matthew. No, much as I feel they deserve to experience God’s wrath without mercy mixed in, they are not the only ones who need to check themselves.

If this is a matter of cooking, then who’s in the kitchen?

Who’s in the kitchen doing the cooking? Terrorists are. Like rapists or racist lynchers, gay bashers prey on the vulnerable and the innocent. Terrorists cook up dishes of danger, fear, more hate. That is, danger, fear and hate are things that they put in the life experience of their human targets, while they seek to setup and secure an experience of safety, peace and love for themselves.

However, terrorists are not the only ones in the kitchen. Yes they are zealous cooks, cooking up a storm of pain and fear, but they are not the only ones involved. We all are accountable for the food of life that fuels our human experience.

Many of us sit in the kitchen and willingly eat what terrorists dish out to us, we allow the poison of fear and hate to go unchecked and untreated. We wrongfully think that by doing nothing and remaining silent, we are not contributors to the social climate of fear and hate.

Matthew didn’t remain silent. He did something too, something very powerful. He was open and honest about who he was. According to his family and close friends, Matthew truly loved and accepted his homosexuality as an acceptable and good gift from God, and this allowed him to come out of fear and facades so that he could truly give of himself and love other people. Sadly, this kind of open honesty is a rare jewel. Matthew acted on his self-acceptance. The news reports tell of how Matthew joined the gay and lesbian student support group of the University of Wyoming. These two acts alone, make Matthew more of a real “man” than a macho man.

Changing the recipe.

Surf through a collection of personals of men who seek sex or relationships with other men. It’s sometimes hard to keep up with all the ads placed by closeted heterosexually married men, closeted “straight-acting” men or men on the “Down-low” or “DL”. Even if you do not come out as Matthew did, think about the times you remain silent when others are being mistreated through a joke, a rumor or through disrespectful and hateful behavior. Instead of being silent, speak out.

Do you enjoy safety because others presume that you are heterosexual? Do you allow others to continue thinking that you are ‘straight’ because of your masculine (or feminine, if a woman) demeanor – even when you have opportunities of correcting them? If so, you can stop. You can be strong – it is your choice. You can choose to make the connections with allies, be they supportive clergy, educators, counselors, politicians or whomever. Through this connection, you can add and stir up the ingredients that can make for a more open, and safe environment.

Perhaps you in fact are heterosexual? You too can help in this kitchen. In fact you are an invaluable and irreplaceable participant. Some of you already speak out against heterosexual supremacy and gay bashing. This is good, a protective refuge that is almost complete. Concrete action is needed. Do I mean wearing rainbow ribbons, putting bumper stickers on your car. While these things are great, I hope that you find a way to act on a deeper level.

Gays and lesbians need you to “come out”. We need you to tell your straight friends and those whom you think might be gay, that you are a safe person to be open and honest with. Even further, you can think about the times when you are in public with that boy or girlfriend, or spouse. Think about the fact that you do not have to hide your love and affection for your sweetheart. Think about the terrorism that same-gender couples might face almost anywhere in the world, just because of their love. Think of the many times a same-gender couple might not hold the hand of their sweetheart in public, or stroll arm in arm, or bring the same-gender date to a social event.

Cook up a climate of safety. Check your own thoughts and those of others who argue that gays and lesbians are not a part of God's ideal plan for humans. This is important for it is the root of indiference and hate toward gays. Get one or two other heterosexual couples together, couples who like you or because of you, are caring and accepting of gays. With them, surround your same-sex couple friends in public places. Do this in big cities and small towns. Walk together with them in public places. Shield them from bashers with your presence, and at the same time, you will begin to make it very difficult any of us to be isolated and terrorized.

Grab an apron everyone. We’ve got a climate of LOVE to make! Shooting Violence in Baltimore
Matthew Shepard memorial page.
Charnell Smith

Copyright note: This story may be freely re-posted over the internet exactly as it appears, including authorship credit, provided *this* paragraph is also included intact. For any other use or form of reproduction or distribution, please obtain the author’s written permission in advance.
Copyright ©1998 by Marcus Stringer
Email: goodguy_Sea@yahoo.com
Website: http://geocities.datacellar.net/~mhaven/.