You've come into "the good life." That is, you and your partner are among a growing number of same-sex couples. You either are one of the few courageous rural dwellers or you have an urban dwelling with access to a gay community and a spectrum of cultural events.
However, you might be a celibate single person. Yet, as part of a "community" of Christians, you are also faced with the question of the validity of same-sex marriage. At least I was, in my reading of the book, Homosexuality: The Test Case For Christian Sexual Ethics, written by Dr. James P. Hanigan.
Hanigan's premise is that homosexuality "is either a cross to be carried like any other incurable disease or a gift of grace to be honored and celebrated." He then states that the church has not provided any social or religious support for the celibacy it demands from the homophile person.
After stumbling through the "value of sex," he finally declares that marriage is a vocation; it is both something one receives and does, both as a gift and a task, "a freely offered invitation either to be rejected or to be freely accepted by acting upon it." The author argues that same-sex marriages do not meet the "ideal" God intended marriage to be.
Since there is no tangible product (children), outside of artificial insemination or adoption, the "two-become-one flesh" ritual/sexual intercourse in these relationships make them unacceptable by society and the church.
Do you think your commitment to your life partner is satisfactory? Wrong. Hanigan does not comprehend your relationship in greater terms than purely platonic friendship. More importantly, he has never counseled couples like you. Your ritualized act of sex does not make present the reality it symbolizes. Somehow, your ritualistic act is not the same as that of heterosexuals who are biologically incapable of reproducing due to age or other unknowns, or those who consider the world too full of evil to bring a new life into it.
This book appears to me to be guilty of starting a new double standard. Yet before I discount the author as a total quack, I would also give him credit for some very valid questions that we would do well to consider.
He asks: "What meaning are same-sex couples creating, enhancing, and celebrating?" "What social impact do same-sex couples have?" "How do they [we] edify the community
or sustain unity, or add to its numbers?" "Since friends [who are not sexual partners] can be mutually sustaining and supportive of one another and find in their relationship stimulus, and support and even a purpose for shared service to the world; what could genital sexual activity add to the intrinsic meaning of such a calling?" "As a couple, what is your vocational call to holiness and service?"
Consider these questions not only for yourselves or those who question your validity. Consider these questions because if you with to or not, you are role models for those of us, your brothers and sisters, who follow you.
