Here is a new story I'm working on. It is definitely begging to turn erotic and more explicit but not "pornographic"... well maybe in some people's eyes. I think that it will include some daring/frontier elements including sci-fi that might challenge gay-think, I don't know for sure.

I stood at the Thompson's front door with my dad. I knew that if Joey wasn't home yet, he would soon be. I wondered if he'd told his own dad about the thing that I could no longer hide from my own.

So much had happened in the two years since we both had graduated from a local high school, I had gone off to college while Joey hung around town, driving delivery trucks and piecing together a number of labor jobs. It was just like him to do so. Joey was smart, but he was too manly, too rugged, to wild to be trapped into an office job. He had to get out and about, flex his muscles and breath wild air.

That's what I loved about him, he was as wild as I was tame, yet he ignited the quiet wildness inside of me. Joey apparently liked me too and for much more than what I had thought.

The first time it happened was on a weekend at college. Joey called up to let me know he was driving up to see me "if it was okay with me". He wanted to attend the college football game happening that weekend. I never was good at team sports, but I had always loved watching them and attending sports events especially with Joey. Maybe it was because he never asked me to explain them, or expected me to know all the stats. I now know that the fact that I was with him, and I could shout and cheer with him was all he needed.

However I don't know why I didn't allow myself to think that there was more between Joey and me than just friendship - we loved doing things together and even though we had been teenagers who should have had raging hormones, neither one of us ever seemed the slightest bit interested in girls.

Both our families were conservative and my folks were very churchly, totally against pre-marital sex or even heavy dating and perhaps this helped shield us from the need to be with a girl.

Sure, there was a little flurry of talk once about us being so close and all. Joey would just laugh it off and tell everybody that they didn't know what they were talking about. I was too afraid to say anything, and tried to "smile away" the attention. But I knew then that there were more feelings inside of me for Joey than just friendship. I sure wasn't thinking about Joey just as a friend when at night I would touch myself.

Seems Joey was kind of glad that people had suspicions about us. It was like some fire had been ignited inside of him, some beautiful animal had been released to its natural home in the wild. He became more aggressive with me, calling me at school after I left for college, driving up on one or two weekends, and trying to get me to come home more often. Then came the phone call.

"Hello, Chuck's residence" I said after picking up the phone.

"Hey Chuck, how's it goin' man?" It was Joey's voice on the other line.

"Hey, I'm okay. What's up big guy?" I asked. I wondered if Joey felt himself almost replace "man" and "big guy" with "babe" and "baby", as I almost did? The first two seemed to be more and more forced. It took effort to say them while the latter two seemed to almost flow like water, so naturally from our minds to our tongues.

"I was thinking about coming up to go to the ball-game this weekend, you interested in going to?"

I had a paper that was due, but I thought, just a few more hours of procrastination wouldn't hurt, I could do it that night to make up the time, instead of going out.

We both wanted to say a lot more than what we let on in our small talk. Joey's voice got low and soft as the long-distance conversation came to an end. We both held on, almost afraid to breath for fear of what we both might say. Was it time? Would the male on the other end of the line welcome or even accept what was said? Carefully, we both stepped back away from the edge, but we knew that it now no longer was if we would jump, but when we would jump.

Joey and I had a great time as usual at the football game. Our team lost but we were still pumped up afterwards. I was kind of angry at the loss, and Joey just laughed at me. That made me punch him in the chest and arm as we both walked from the stadium. He laughed even more, and I started chasing him between the rows of cars, down the street toward campus and my dorm.

I caught up with him and wanted to hug him and kiss him right there, and feel his arms around me, holding me tight in his strength where I belonged and where he needed me. Instead, we just laughed as I play-punched him again. Only I didn't expect Joey to grab my fist before I could pull back. The grip felt demanding and in control and the look Joey gave me was very strange but perhaps expected. It was a look a boyfriend might give his girlfriend that speaks, "I want you, I need you, I am yours and you are mine" - or so I wanted to believe. We were a bit separate from the crowds so Joey didn't release my hand immediately.

"Can I have my hand back?" I joked.

"When I feel like it... maybe." Joey shot back.

We both fully enjoyed this.

Yet Joey did release my hand. We couldn't walk like that in public, him holding my hand. There was silence between us as we continued through campus.

"Come here, where does this go?" Joey asked, heading down a smaller side walkway between the Art and Engineering buildings. The trail led to small 'park' area. There was a tiny fountain pond that often had ducks swimming around in it, and was ringed by thick clusters of tall Weeping Willow trees.

No one was there and I felt vulnerable in myself not knowing if I would break down and make a wrong move. I still refused to believe that Joey wanted to be mine and me to be his in that special way. Guys just didn't feel this way for each other, I kept sayin to myself. It's not supposed to be this way. "One man and one woman!" is what I had heard so much at home and church. Everywhere I looked, on TV, in magazines, everywhere I listened, in conversations, on the radio, it was supposed to be only men with women.

It wasn't fair! I was a ball of fear and anger ready to explode. It was all a game, a cruel game that was rigged against me. Was Joey playing that game too? Was he teasing me? Would he be offended and try to humiliate me? What was going on between us?

"Hey this is cool! You come here often?" Joey asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.

"No, not really." I answered cautiously

Copyright note: This story may be freely re-posted over the internet exactly as it appears, including authorship credit, provided *this* paragraph is also included intact. For any other use or form of reproduction or distribution, please obtain the author’s written permission in advance. Copyright © 1998 by Marcus Stringer
Email: goodguy_Sea@yahoo.com
Website: http://geocities.datacellar.net/~mhaven/.