I have a problem.
I'm an un-gay gay male.
I am in no-man's land.
I'm not in and I'm not out,
I am nowhere I am anywhere,
It doesn't signify – there is no where, here.

I have a problem
I'm seen but unseen
You know that I am here yet you can look through me as if I'm not.
You know that I'm here because you cannot read the mass of
mystery that I am
I really do have a problem

This is not ex-gay for the thing is alive in me and I love it
I dream, feel, and crave the touch, the voice
Locked in my memories and lost as if never to be realized again
Is it my un-gayness, do I dwell where no male dares to approach?
Am I a danger, a threat to his security, his secrecy?
This is a problem.

This is a problem
There must be more, another way, a better way to be
So much less invisible, not so ignorable
God help my un-gayness such a blessing, such a curse.
For I love my un-gay gayness, it's powerful and freeing

Yes I love it I confess.
Openly un-gay Gay…
Is this the problem?
Is this my problem