By Marcus Stringer

I feel that I need to change update my thoughts on my ideal guy. First I don't want to call it the ideal guy page. Perhaps I should just call it the "What a Man!" page. There was a popular hip-hop/rap tune by the female group "Salt-n-Pepa" that knocked out the lyrics "Whata man, whata man, whata man, whata mighty good man!" I loved that tune and a lot of the lyrics. If there is anything we need more is a lot more good men. We need more good heterosexual men for good heterosexual women, and we need good gay men for good gay men.

I've encountered a furry bear-Cub of a guy or two recently who have caused me to rethink through what is really and truly essential qualities I seek. Somehow "bear" in the gay community as a physical description seems to mean waaaay far out of shape bodies, and no interest in reigning it in.

Small tummies and a few extra pounds do not hurt. But this isn't about bears, nor slim guys.

This is about moving oh so slightly away from a fixation on the perfect body, the perfect career, the perfect income and all the other external qualities all for the sake of being whole, "deeper" and less shallow and to realize the value of non-physical characteristics. Yes, certain qualities will attract my attention more than others, some of the will be physical characteristics.

So my dreams of a partner do not require unrealistic physical qualities when I hope for cuddling on the beach at sunset, lounging around the house on a Sunday Morning, sleeping spoon-fashion and many other romantic, sensual and spiritual things. Most men do not have washboard abs and chiseled pecs, not do they have the time or body type to be hulks or little gym-studs. It is important to be in the best shape one can be physically - you deserve it. Completely taking on someone else's idea of the body-perfect is another thing all together.

There are other things that I find attractive. I like guys who are kind, who don't have a chip on their shoulder, guys who hope for the best for all things and all people. I like a guy who truly and honestly likes to be affectionate even if he doesn't want to do so in public. I realize we are not in an ideal world where we would have no worries and fears. This fact is what drives me to press for a better world, one closer to the ideal. Which brings me to another thing. My dream is to be with a guy who wants that better world.

My dream is to have money as a tool to be used not as a master to be controlled by. I need a guy who thinks and wants the same.

I'm kind of a tight wad as far as cutting loose and having fun. "Things can go too far", "people won't get things done" is my generalization. I've become aware of this, have accepted that in fact I do feel this way and am trying to deal with it. Yes it is sometimes true, but not ALWAYS true. Maybe someone who is a little less uptight about things can walk with me as I try to be a little more easygoing. I really can be a fun guy.

Okay, that's enough for now.