(I went looking for hairdye, and girls, I found it)

She's in love with her hair
She likes it dark
On her bathroom carpet
The tell-tale mark
                          
She buys Les Noirs Richesse
Rubs it in well
But does the colour stay there?
Oh, does it hell!
                         
She's trying Feria - hopes for
A black that's blue
Oh, baby, Homer Simpson
Has better hair than you!
                           
Yeah, you wanna go out, see Horatii playing
You can't go out 'cos your roots are praying
'Dye us black
Please, dye us black'
                            
Black, black, black, black, No. 122
Black, black, black, black, No. 122
                               
Clairol Nice N'Easy
I come home to you
Put the flimsy gloves on
Work that voodoo
Though you smell peculiar
Nothing else will do
(The scent was peroxide - now fruity spew)
                  
Oh, I wanna go out, but the other half's whining
'Has the bathroom been used for some oil-refining?'
Dyed it black
Oh, dyed it black
                             
Black, black, black, black, No. 122
Black, black, black, black, No. 122!

Here she come down, say "Pony, Pony"
Shoes big, izzat a wig? eyelashes phoney...
Hey! she can't dance 'cause her corset's tight now

I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah

Well you make me feel Pony, Pony (etc)

Ben-dis, glitter-dust, Pony, Pony
Gin-drink, purple-pink, anime honey
Circle-skirt, girlie-flirt, yeah

Hey! Well don't stop now, hey, come on Pony, well come on, Pony

I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah

Well you make me feel Pony, Pony

Raindrops on gargoyles and antique wainscotting
Dark gloomy nightclubs and black fishnet stockings
Pale black-haired vampires all tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white facepaint with blue eyeball sockets
Snakebites and clove cigarettes in my pockets
Sisters of Mercy's CD "Vision Thing"
These are a few of my favorite things

Graveyards with tombstones so old you can't read 'em
Goth S & M partners who let you bleed 'em
Fetishes, Azrael, silver skull rings
These are a few of my favorite things...

When Lestat bites
When the whip stings
When I want some vice
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so
...nice

(apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein)