First Love's Tragedy



It wasn't love at first sight. No, its strange enough that people fall in love at the first sight but I fell in love at his first type. I was bored that night on AOL and his IM suddenly appeared out of nowhere, he wasn't even in the chat room. At first thought it was a joke, you know, an opener to see if I was an easy lay. I had gotten my fair share of that online and I practically knew every pick up line there was. For some reason I typed back and that sparked the whole thing.

He was the cutest boy I ever saw. Something about the way he spoke made me believe him with all my heart and when he sent me his picture I believed it was him. His straight brown hair was draped over his shining blue eyes and he spoke his heart with that disarming smile. I just melted when I saw him. Honesty seemed to jump from his beautiful face and I knew I had to have him.

That night I signed on again after mom and dad went to sleep and he was there, as if he was waiting for me. I IMed him immediately and minutes later we found ourselves in a heated discussion, together and alone in a private chat. We talked for hours and when the sun rose the next morning we signed off as boyfriends.

The whole day was nothing but a haze to me. All I could see and think of was him. Later on in the day when I signed on, I was greeted by a letter from him. Not just any ordinary letter but a poem. Secretly I had been doubting his affection but as the tears dropped from my eyes, I knew I belonged to him and only him.

From then on I found myself ignoring the IMs from friends and devoting all my time to him. Our chats were a mixture of mindless ramble and professions of love. With him I found the strength to try new things and together we explored every possible alley within our grasp.

Our one week anniversary arrived and we dared to go even further in our relationship. I gave him my phone number and he called shortly after midnight. It was a first for both of us, in a way you could say we lost our virginity, our innocence. It was night of love and it was ours. I remember thinking to myself that nothing could tear us apart. Little did I know that our new found love was about to be tested.

Two days afterwards, he asked if we could speak on the phone again. I was a little hesistant due to the fact that mom was home but I agreed and in a matter of seconds we were back on the phone. Within minutes I had completely forgotten that mom was home and we turned to more heavier and kinkier matters. I must have been cursed for mom picked up the phone and what took us hours to put together she destroyed in a matter of seconds. Unbeknownst to us, she called the police and had a tap put on our call. Our luck must have turned for he had to go the minute the tap was established and that pissed mom off even more.

I don't remember much after we hung up except for mom screaming and crying. I knew then that everything was over, my happiness and my hopes at a future with my love. Mom canceled aol, took away my rights to the phone, and grounded me till what she put as me 'straightening up'. I managed to convince mom to let me have an hour to myself online, to say good bye to the friendships I had and while on I warned him of the tap. After that, my communication with the outside world ended.

I was devasted and depressed but I still had enough strength to sneak back on a friend's account to find him. What I didn't know was that he didn't want to be found. I had to ask everyone who had every known him to find his new screen name. I told him how sorry I was that everything turned out this way and that it was my fault but all he could mutter was that I had to trust him. Confused and depressed, I couldn't muster the strength to ask him what he meant and just told him I did. That was the last time I heard from him. He knew how to get a hold of me but never did I hear from him again after I signed off.

A few weeks later, mom and dad lifted my punishment but I could never go back on AOL or chat in a room on the internet. I made it my mission to get in touch with my friends and maybe even possibly him. After finding a few of my friends, I found out that he had disappeared from AOL. One of my best friends screwed up the strength to tell me that he thought my love interest was a fake and after proving it to me it made sense. I never knew his last name nor did I get is phone number. I knew little about his background except that he was a senior graduating and he was planning a trip where we were supposed to spend time together. It was like a slap to my face and I realized I had been played like a puppet. He had tricked me into sharing things about myself and used my affection to get me to do stuff I normally wouldn't have done. I had a complete breakdown which I have never really recovered from.

Now-a-days I tell people that i'm over him and that he never really hurt me but it is just a big fat lie. I had been trusting and loving, given him everything because I loved him and he completely used me. I vowed to never be as trusting or as friendly to other people as I use to due to the fact that I know that I could never live through another tragic relationship. Thanks to him my first 'true' relationship, in which their was love, was a tragedy and completely changed my outlook on life. I know there are other fellas out there who are getting scammed the way I was but whereas before I would have cared, I now could care less and I owe it all to him.



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