Sex, Lies and the Autobot Leader

(or The Crush)

by Phantom


Chapter 16

Crystal ran blindly down the halls, mindless of where she was going, or who she ran into. She just wanted to get as far away from Optimus Prime as possible. Yet she knew that it was herself that she was truly running away from, and that she could never escape.

She rounded a corner and ran smack into a figure. Reeling, she teetered backward, crashing down on her aft. She registered the pain dimly, her head still filled with too much mental agony to notice a few new dents. She got to her feet in a trance, preparing to continue her aimless wanderings.

“Hey, stop right there!” the figure cried, grabbing her roughly by the arm and jerking her back.

Crystal's optics focused hazily on a mass of pink. She shook her head, and the form congealed into the recognizable features of Alita One. “You!” she choked, jerked out of her dark thoughts. “What are you doing out here? I thought you were restricted to quarters!”

“I am, thanks to you,” Alita sneered, “ but I am allowed out at very early hours if I am accompanied by someone.” Another form caught Crystal's optic, and she turned to notice Sunrunner edging away nervously.

“I don't want any part of this,” Sunrunner said nervously. “I'm out of here. You two settle your score alone.” With that she turned and strode hastily away.

“That's a very good idea,” Alita sneered. “We do have a score to settle, don't we?”

“Not that I know of,” Crystal spat, her mind coming out of its fog of sorrow. Alita naturally brought out her anger, and this time a showdown seemed inevitable. “You have everything you could have ever wanted, and what do I have? Nothing!! Not even self-respect!”

“Take this, then!” Alita cried, swinging her fist and connecting solidly with Crystal's jaw. “That's for all the trouble you've caused me!”

“And this for the ruin you've made of my life!” Crystal screamed, losing all reason as she sprang upon her former commander, knocking her to the floor and raining punches on her face and chest.

“Aaaagh!” Alita yelled in pain, twisting to avoid the blows. She bucked upward with her body, unseating Crystal long enough to knock her off completely with a mean right hook.

Crystal landed on her side, head connecting with the floor with a sickening thud. Her audials were filled with a loud screech, and error messages scrolled across her optic readout. She switched off the warnings angrily. She didn't care what kind of damage she had; she wanted this confrontation finished! This had been building for millions of years, and it was time to resolve it. Alita had this coming, and Crystal was delighted to be the one to dish it out. For a brief moment she felt alive.

Crystal got to her feet a bit shakily, ducking to narrowly miss another punch that was directed at her head. “Die!” she shrieked, lashing out and kicking Alita right in the stomach. The femme commander doubled over, giving Crystal a perfect place to land her fist. The pink femme fell to the floor with a satisfying clang. “Get up! Get up and face me, slag you! I've wanted to do this for so long, and you won't deny me now!”

“Gladly!” Alita snarled, springing to her feet and diving atop Crystal, raining punches anywhere she could. But Crystal barely felt the pain, barely noticed the fuel trickling from numerous gashes and open wounds. All she could see was the author of her suffering before her, and she was determined to repay her suffering in kind.

“Why do you hate me so much?” she growled as Alita evaded her kick. “What did I ever do to you? I followed every one of your orders, no matter how sickening. I've been loyal, I've obeyed, and what do I get? Hatred and disgust from everyone!”

“That's because you *are* disgusting!” Alita shrieked, slamming into Crystal with her shoulder, knocking the red-and-blue femme flat on her back. “All you're good for is stealing our boyfriends and polluting our ranks! You've been with most of the mechs in the Autobot *and* Decepticon armies, and you'd need a whole library of black books to keep track of them! It's one thing to do it upon orders, but you've turned it into a way of life! It's sickening! Why do you have to cause so much trouble? Why can't you just be like the rest of us?” She grabbed Crystal around the throat and squeezed.

“Because I'm *not* like the rest of you!” Crystal choked.

“That's right, you're not,” Alita sneered. “The rest of us are a tight bunch, but you don't fit in anywhere, do you? You always have to be the troublemaker. You aren't deserving of whatever nice treatment you get! You're a reminder of all the nasty, dirty things we've had to do to get ahead in our war. You're devious and back-stabbing! I honestly don't know what Optimus sees in you. But he's always been the bleeding-heart type. Then again, perhaps he's just buying what you're selling. He told me himself that you're just a good time to him. What do you think about that? Or is that all you're good for anyway?”

“Of course it is! And you're the one who made me that way! You robbed me of my self-respect and degraded me until it was the only way I knew of to relate to people. I hate you for that! And now I don't even have Optimus!” Her voice broke, and she twisted her head in Alita's grasp, trying to hide the tears that sprang to her optics. “All I've ever wanted is someone to truly love me for what I am, despite all my flaws. And I would love him in return and would be faithful to him. But Optimus doesn't love me. All he can think about is you.” 'Don't let this happen! Don't let her see you weaken!' a voice screamed at her, but it was too late, as her optics brimmed with cleansing fluid. “Can't you see how much he cares about you? I can't make him love me, no matter what I do. You've got everything I want, and you threw it away. And he still wants you back! I guess you're right. I just don't deserve that kind of love.” Crystal closed her optics in defeat, letting black despair engulf her once more. “Go ahead and finish it. It will be a relief to me.”

Alita was frozen to the spot, unable to process such mind-boggling input. Crystal's sudden black mood was shocking, and she struggled to come to terms with it, but that thought was eclipsed by another. Optimus loved her! He wanted to be with her again! If she could be his mate again, then nothing else in the universe was important.

“Alita! Crystal!” a familiar voice yelled. “What in the name of Cybertron is going on here?”

“Optimus!” Alita cried, releasing her captive and jumping up to face her former lover. “Is it true? Did you really break up with Crystal so you could be with me again?”

“I, uh...” Optimus hesitated.

“Please say it's true. I've missed you so!” Alita sighed, embracing him tightly.

Optimus could no longer keep his defenses from crumbling. “It is,” he murmured, stroking her battle helmet. “And I've missed you too. I've felt so hollow these past few weeks, like I'm wading in slow-motion through a dream.”

“Let's promise to never part again,” Alita declared, leaning back to stare into his piercing blue optics.

“It's a deal,” Optimus said softly, allowing Alita to remove his mask. The two kissed sweetly, holding each other close, savoring the moment. Finally they broke apart, smiling at each other shyly, glad to have been given this second chance.

Optimus Prime's expression slowly faded from something akin to euphoria to dread and shame. “Oh dear, where did Crystal go to?” he exclaimed, noticing that the hallway was eerily empty. “I hope she isn't too upset. She took the breakup rather poorly.”

“I think she did at that,” Alita said reluctantly, unwilling to part from her mate's arms. “Maybe she'll feel better if we just left her alone for awhile. After all, she's been badly hurt by both of us.”

Optimus shook his head gravely. “No, Alita, we must find her right away, before she does something drastic. It is true that we caused her suffering, but that only means that we must do something to alleviate it. The Autobot army has wronged that poor femme too many times, and it's high time we did something to make up for it.”

“What should we do?” Alita asked. “She didn't seem to want to talk to anyone.”

“She doesn't have to talk if she doesn't want to. I just want to make sure that she's okay.” Optimus spotted a thin trail of fuel on the floor. “Well, this should be easy enough. Primus, she's really leaking. What did you do to her?”

“Nothing very nice,” Alita replied, sounding both angry and ashamed. “Come on, let's get going so I can wash my hands of this mess.” Optimus shook his head and followed her, praying that he could resolve this terrible situation before it snowballed further out of control.


Chapter 17

Crystal leaned against the railing weakly, feeling the slow trickle of her life-fluids running down her side. The sensation, albeit disturbing, was little more than a tickle at the back of her CPU. Right now, her slight injuries were the least of her concerns.

“How beautiful it all looks!” she marveled, staring out at the starlit sky far above the slumbering city of Iacon. Part of her relished the peace, while another part of her resented it, for she could never be a part of it. It was at times like this that she wondered about the existence of Primus. She wanted so desperately to believe in a power greater than herself, that there was a force of pure benevolence somewhere in the universe. If such a force existed, it would make her suffering worthwhile. And yet, if Primus did exist, why would he allow her to live in such misery? It was a conundrum that never failed to give her a headache. She had stopped praying to Primus long ago. If he'd heard her prayers, he'd never answered them.

'Well, I guess I'll find out for sure if he exists or not,' she thought, caressing her chest. Buried inside, as with every Transformer, was the spark of energy that granted her life. Though, during her darkest days, she wondered if it was all some kind of twisted joke that allowed her continued existence. At long last, it would all come to an end. All of her suffering, the feeling of being caught between two worlds, never able to reconcile her lifestyle with those of her fellow femmes -- she was going to stop it. Finally, with this one final act, she could end this farce and stop living on other people's terms. Whether she would go to Primus, Unicron, or simply cease to exist, she did not know, and truly did not care. As long as it wasn't here.

Never taking her eyes off the brilliant star-studded sky, her hands found the hairline welding lines of her torso armor and dug in, pulling violently until the metal tore off with a jerk, flying off to land a short distance away. The trickle of fuel quickly became a small river, but it went unheeded as Crystal smiled up at the unheeding sky. Liberation was so close....

She looked down at last, ignoring the mangled sides of her torso as her gaze focused on the softly glowing white sphere, surrounded by a gray armor case, the front of the case protected by a translucent but very strong bubble. It glowed a bit brighter as she looked upon it, as if recognizing that she was its owner. In spite of herself, Crystal's soul warmed a bit as she studied it. 'What a miracle, that something so fragile could give us life. It's really quite beautiful. I really don't deserve it.' At that thought, a lifetime's worth of emotional pain swamped her, and her vision clouded under a haze of cleansing fluid.

She wiped away the tears angrily. 'No, I must be strong!' she told herself. 'All of that will be over soon, and I will be at peace.' The idea reassured her, and she felt an eerie calm steal over her soul. She had made the decision, and nothing could hold her back now. Her life, at long, long last, was her own, to do with as she saw fit. And with this last act, she would free herself from this world that had tormented her for so long.

She slipped one hand into her chest cavity, avoiding the jagged edges left from where her armor had been torn away. Her fingers closed over her spark, almost protectively, and then, with a sudden wrench, crushed the glowing sphere in her grasp. Crystal gasped sharply, in pain and in a perverse happiness, as she felt an electric jolt pass through her body. The fuel cables that ran through her vital systems burst open under the stress, staining the ground below her with her dark, rich lifeblood. She swooned and fell backwards, seemingly in slow-motion, the loss of energy making her very lightheaded. She turned her head to the side, looking contentedly at the inky-black sky. Suddenly she went numb all over, the pain fading to a faint buzz at the back of her mind. 'Soon I will be one with the stars,' she thought, and with that, her vision cut out, filled with static and large black splotches. With a huge sense of relief and liberation, she gave herself up and let the darkness claim her.


Chapter 18

//Author's note: I've chosen to resurrect Ratchet for my own purposes. If Optimus could be resurrected, perhaps the funeral barge containing the others could be salvaged and the other deceased Autobots restored. That is the one element that I've changed from the cartoon storyline.//

“This way!” Optimus called out to Alita, following the sputtering trail of fuel that Crystal had left behind. “Please, Primus, let her be okay!” he murmured to himself, unable to shake the feeling of foreboding that had settled in his belly like a lead weight. He had the dreadful sense that they were already too late.

“NO! By the deities, this can't be!” Prime exclaimed, a hand coming up to cover his once-again masked face. From the doorway he could see Crystal's crumpled figure lying on the observation balcony, a puddle of fuel forming underneath her. He activated his radio, calling out, “Ratchet! Medical emergency, observation deck!”

“Oh, lord, what happened?!” Alita cried, coming up behind Optimus and catching a glimpse of Crystal's body.

“We have to help her!” Optimus exclaimed, hastening over to the fallen femme. He wiped away the fuel that smeared her chassis as best as he could, choking in horror and revulsion when the full damage was revealed. Fuel lines had burst, slowly but surely draining her of her life fluids, but Optimus had seen that before and knew how to deal with it. What he *didn't* know how to handle was the spark case, crushed almost beyond recognition, with deep finger grooves along the sides. He turned aside, feeling vertigo swamping him, causing the room to spin sickeningly.

“Careful!” Alita cried, hurrying over to prop up her mate. “You've got to keep it together and tell me what's wrong. What happened to her?”

“She -- she crushed her own spark casing! She hated her life so much that she wanted to tear it out of her body!” Optimus choked, powering down his optics in sorrow. He would have gladly spent the rest of his life with Crystal to spare her this agony. He couldn't help but feel responsible for what happened to her.

Alita, who in a way was more inured to the hardships of war than her mate, who had spent most of the war protected in a fortified base, peeked around the male's shuddering body. A glint caught her optic. “Optimus...” she said slowly, not wanting to get her love's hopes up. “I think I see something.”

Optimus straightened up and turned back to the corpse, pushing his grief and guilt aside. There would be plenty of time for that later. This time he saw it too -- a definite sparkle. “Could it be?!” he asked, scarcely daring to hope. He knelt down and cautiously brushed the leaking fuel off of the spark casing. He cried out in relief. Her spark still glowed! Its hue was grayish and very faint, but it was still online.

“We still have a chance!” Optimus exclaimed, wrenching open a panel in his leg and withdrawing a medical kit. He, like most Transformers, had some medical schooling and knew how to stop minor leaks. While the damage before him was quite serious, he was confident that he could repair at least some of it before Ratchet arrived. “Help me, Lita,” he beseeched her, staring into her optics and handing her a fistful of bandage plates. She nodded back wordlessly, moved by her mate's determination. Both of them bent over the broken body, Alita suppressing a shudder as they gently picked up one burst fuel line after another and wrapped the bandage plates around them, the polymers quickly sealing the breaks.

Optimus lifted his head and smiled wearily behind his mask as he heard the squeal of tires approaching, and the loud wail of a siren. Help had arrived.

“Optimus! What happened here?” a voice called as the ambulance transformed, running over.

“She tried to take her own life,” Optimus said softly, looking down at the femme cradled in his arms.

“Crystal! It can't be!” Ratchet exclaimed, kneeling down by the injured femme. He had known her for a long time, and had been one of the very few mechs who had resisted her advances. He had found her to be very charming and attractive, but there was a dark side to her that worried him. Still, they had come to be casual friends, joking around as he repaired her wounds time after time. Though it hurt to see her this way, a part of him was not surprised. He had known that she was heading down a very dark road, and yet he had only been able to watch helplessly, unsure of what to say or do to relieve the femme's burdens.

Ratchet pulled out a cylindrical scanner and took Crystal's readings. “She's very low on fuel. You two did an excellent patching job, but it will all be for nothing unless we get some fuel into her immediately. Her fuel pump is starting to fail already. Her spark casing will have to be replaced as well, for it's putting incredible pressure on her spark, but that will have to wait. If we don't get her more fuel, she'll die!”

Optimus looked at the body in his arms, then at his best friends. “I volunteer to be a donor,” he said quietly. Since all Transformers had the same type of fuel, there was no worry about compatibility.

“Excellent. Let's get started,” Ratchet said, clapping his hands together. Optimus opened up a small hatch on his side, attaching a tube that Ratchet handed him to a similar hatch on Crystal's body. “Be careful,” the medic warned. “Start the flow slowly, or you may send her systems into shock. You also don't want to drain yourself too quickly.”

“Will do,” Optimus said, sounding a bit strained as he allowed the fuel transfer to start. The life-giving fluid began to flow from the Autobot leader into his patient, revitalizing her systems bit by bit. Ratchet watched the readings on his scanner grimly, breathing a silent sigh of relief as they gradually crept out of the critical range. As Optimus continued to refuel the femme, Ratchet took a closer look at the spark casing, shaking his head. It took some kind of misery to want to do such a painful thing to yourself. Despite the grisly nature of the wound, a part of him had to hand it to Crystal. She always had a flair for the dramatic.

Optimus reeled a bit as his energy level began to sag dangerously low. “Okay, that's enough from you!” Ratchet declared, jumping up to disconnect the feed. “We can't have you going offline as well.”

“But it's not enough!” Optimus exclaimed. “She needs much more!”

“You've done enough,” Ratchet said gently, taking Prime's hand in his own and squeezing gently. “Draining yourself dry won't take away the guilt you feel. Right now she needs all of us to stand by her, and to be strong for her. I don't want to risk moving Crystal to medbay until her vital systems have more fuel to run on, but Alita can finish the fuel transfer. Is that okay with you, Alita?”

“Of--of course,” Alita stammered, surprised by the request. She took Prime's place and allowed Ratchet to attach the transfer tube. Ratchet obviously didn't know about her scuffle with Crystal, but she was sure that he *did* know about their longtime rivalry and understood that she felt a large measure of guilt herself. For the first time, Alita allowed her anger to drain away, and what she saw was a femme to be pitied, not hated. And although her logic circuitry told her that Crystal's attempt to take her life was not her fault, that the femme's emotional problems were due to many factors, she couldn't shake the crushing weight of blame that rested on her head. She had been the last to see Crystal, and she had said some very cruel things and had actually picked a fight with her. “I'm sorry!” she wailed suddenly, curling forward, hiding her head in her arms, sobs wracking her chassis. “I'm so sorry!”

Optimus hastened to console her. “Don't cry,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. “We all bear part of the blame for what has happened, but we've been given a chance to make it better. Crystal needs us to be strong.”

With all the raw emotion surrounding him, Ratchet felt himself getting choked up as well. “Please come back to us,” he whispered, gently squeezing Crystal's hand. “There are people here who care about you. You have to pull through this!”

“Is there anything else we can do?” Optimus asked worriedly, still holding his beloved mate.

“Now I have to secure her spark,” Ratchet replied. “I'll need to complete the transfer of her spark to a new casing in medbay, but for now I'll have to brace it so it is not extinguished when she is moved. Hold her still while I install a brace.”

Optimus and Alita nodded solemnly, positioning themselves around the wounded femme and holding her body still while Ratchet pulled out an adjustable metal brace. After carefully adjusting it to fit, he slowly inserted it in the gaping hole, wrapping it around the twisted spark casing, and attaching several extensions to the undamaged sections of her torso, which would keep the casing still. “There,” he said with great finality. “Now there's only one more thing that needs to be done.” //Ratchet to First Aid,// he radioed.

//Uhh, First Aid here,// came the hazy reply.

//Sorry to wake you, but we've got a trauma on our hands. I need you to prep the medbay for surgery and stand by to receive a patient. She's in very bad condition, and if we don't act soon, she may not survive.//

//Will do,// First Aid replied, sounding fully alert. Both he and Ratchet were used to snatching a few odd hours of recharge here and there, and even though one of them was supposed to be able to get some rest during the other's shift, occasionally a patient would be so badly damaged that he or she required both of their skills. Both medics had developed the fine art of recharging under the worst conditions, coming fully awake at a moment's notice. //I'm on my way.//

//I'll meet you there. Ratchet out.// Once communications had been severed, Ratchet transformed into his ambulance mode and opened his rear door. “Load her in very gently,” he instructed.

“You get her shoulders, I'll get her legs,” Optimus ordered. Alita gingerly picked up the femme, trying hard not to jostle her. She held her steady as Optimus scooped up her legs, then the two of them carried her to the ambulance and cautiously placed her inside. Their fluid movements, in concert, spoke of their tight partnership and ability to anticipate each other's motion.

“Good, very good,” the ambulance spoke. “Now strap her down so she doesn't move.”

Optimus reached in and fastened the metal buckles over the femme, being careful to avoid the damaged areas. “She's ready to go.”

“Excellent. Thank you for your help. I'll take her to medbay now. First Aid should have an operating berth ready for her. I'm afraid I can't allow you into the medbay during surgery. I'll notify you as soon as we're done.”

“Please do, Ratchet,” Optimus said gravely. “Take good care of Crystal for us.”

“I will,” the medic vowed. With that, he drove off slowly, taking his patient off to surgery.

As if an unspoken command had been uttered, Optimus and Alita each whirled and threw themselves into a tight embrace, each seeking solace from the other. 'How ironic that it took such a disaster to bring us back together,' Optimus thought miserably. He didn't want Crystal's life to be the price of their reunion. “Please, please, please let her be alright!” Alita murmured like a mantra. “I couldn't live with myself if she didn't survive!”

“We have to have faith, Alita,” Optimus said softly, caressing her back soothingly. “The fact that she's still alive is a gift from Primus. We have to take it the rest of the way and show her how much we want her to stay. We'll go to visit her as soon as she's stable. Until then, all we can do is hope and pray.”

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