Universal History

History
The history of the universe is a long, and, for the most part, a peaceful one. The matriarchal reign can be traced many millennia back to the very first Queen of the Universe, who seized power from a myriad of warring galactic nations, ruthlessly crushing all opposition and imposing her justice to create a single, united empire.

Ancient History
The histories from before the first Queen of the Universe created her empire are extremely unreliable, since there were many warring nations at the time, and all had a different idea of what really happened. What could be ascertained to have actually happened is that there were a lot of nations and a lot of wars, and an amazing number of the wars seemed to have been sparked by someone stealing the last of someone else's french fries.

What could be discovered was that the universe somehow explosively came into being (whether it was sneezed out, told by some unnamed deity that it existed, or a ball of matter floating through nothingness got bored one day and decided to explode and create a bunch of stars and planets and stuff is still under debate). After that the laws of physics started to assert themselves (gravity and inertia foremost), and particles of dust started hanging out together so they wouldn't be so lonely out in the vastness of space all by themselves. After that life somehow came into being, bringing with it war, taxes, and stew. These primitive creatures went crawling around their little planets asking "why" about everything until they figured they knew all about the universe there was to know, then took their stupidity out into the universe to see what sort of trouble they could get into around there. Once in space the different civilizations formed about the same time managed to meet up (a feat virtually impossible considering the size of the universe), and, having come from different areas of their galaxy they had gathered different pieces of information about the universe that at first glance didn't quite fit together. Instead of pooling their knowledge to discover the truth they all decided that they were right and the others were wrong and anyone with a differing point of view must be eliminated. These first encounters accelerated into the wars of the various intergalactic alliances that led to the first Queen of the Universe being able to take over.

The Early Empire
After the first Queen of the Universe had achieved her throne, she set about consolidating her empire, establishing and protecting trade routes and setting up a secure system of government that would endure for years to come.

Her line continued unbroken for many prosperous years until the coming of Steve and the first and only great rebellion in the history of the Universal Empire. He seized control from the reigning queen to become the first King of the Universe. The government continued to run well for a time, but Steve's incompetency eventually shone through, and the Universal economy plunged into chaos. Of course, this could not be allowed to happen, so the true heir to the throne secretly planned a rebellion in the backwaters of the Milky Way Gallaxy on what is known on earth as Pluto, on the site that is now the Imperial Palace. She and her followers made a secret attack in which they captured the King and forced him to publicly resign, whereafter the true queen took her rightful place as the Queen of the Universe and restored her empire to its former glory and banished the traitor to his mother's house.

The Universe continued in peace and prosperity for many years to come, until the peace was finally shattered by the evil Darth Scooter. At first his crimes were negligible, attacking or raiding small outposts and towns so far from anywhere that by the time anyone heard about it it was too late to do anything about it. As his power grew, so did his attacks, until the powers had to take notice. The Queen of the Universe sent many of her best Jedi Knights against him, but success only came when the Internal Intelligence Agency and the Royal Explorer discovered the location of Darth Scooter's hideout and the General of the Universal Army waged an all-out attack. Darth Scooter was captured, and the Queen of the Universe exiled him to a miserable little planet in an uninhabited parallel universe with no possibility of escape.