Bachelor of Bullshit
Yes that's right. I'm creating a Bachelor of Bullshit @ the University of Queensland. Of course, most degrees *are* bachelors of B/S but I'd like to create an official one, so you can graduate wif (for eg) Steve Goodwin B.B/S (PR) or B.B/S (Political) heheh.
The Bachelor of Bullshit
Full
time: 3 years
Part time: anywhere up to 20 years as long as you are practicing bullshit in
your daily life.
Majors available:
Subjects:
BS101: How to Bullshit
How to bullshit your way through University, including
assignments and exams. Also excuses for special exams and extensions for
assignments. How to bullshit your way into a job and not end up with egg
on your face when your boss realises you can't cook for shit... How
to bullshit to Centrelink to milk the most out of our Social Security
system. How to bullshit to your girlfriend / boyfriend / wife / husband /
parents about why you forgot their birthday or didn't come home.
BS102:
Linguistic Practicalities of Bullshit
The importance of keeping a straight
face and even voice tone. Learn which body language is effective, and the
basic linguistic structure of bullshit.
BS200:
Public Relations bullshit
Want a PR job?? Here's how to bullshit your
way into one, through one and out of one. Basically the same subject as
BS220 Real Estate, except with people and organisations instead of properties.
For example: Suzie Maroney wasn't drink driving, in fact she turned
herself into the police because she was emotional and disorientated. (sorry Suze)
BS220:
Real Estate bullshit
Learn how to describe a shack as a
renovator's dream without pissing yourself laughing. The townhouse doesn't
shake every time a train roars past, it's close to public transport !
BS230:
Political bullshit 1
A comprehensive introduction
to political bullshit. Includes both left-wing and right-wing
stances. Option to study factional politics. Practical assignment on
how to run University student elections, destroy university Democrat parties
with factional alliances, and embezzle raffle proceeds.
(to be continued )
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