Samantha: Doctor, my son thinks that he is a TV channel changer.
What are the odds that you can save him?
Doctor: Remote!!
Steve: As some of you know, I just replaced my three-season bed with a new bed. Jerry: What's a three-season bed???? Steve: A three-season bed is a bed with a spring missing!
A neutron goes into a barber shop and asks the barber, "How much for a
haircut?"
The barber replies, "For you, no charge."
Frankenstein: What is it like to be in a bottle for 5,000 years?
Genie: It's a JARRING experience.
Homeowner: My house is located in an earthquake zone.
Agent: Sorry, but I can't help you. I only sell no-fault insurance!