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I have to say straight away, that this event was superb. Robert was hysterically funny, and, while there were a few problems, the organisers, the Sci-Fi Picture Company and Wolf Events, had put a lot of effort into creating a good atmosphere and keeping people entertained. I also need to give a spoiler warning. If you don’t want to know if Voyager is returning to the Alpha Quadrant, then skip a bit when you are told to!
The event was held at the New Connaught Rooms, in Central London, a rather elegant venue to be taken over by a crowd mainly dressed in jeans and t-shirts! I arrived slightly after the ‘doors open’ time of 5pm to find there was a large queue – extending for some distance outside, then across the lobby and up two flights of stairs inside. In fact it was after 6pm by the time I reached the top. It could have been worse though – I spent the time chatting with a lovely couple, and watching the guests coming to a wedding reception at the same venue. The contrast between the two groups was certainly entertaining. (Incidentally, there was also a wedding reception going on when I met Roxann. I’m wondering if this could be a Star Trek tradition).
At the top of the stairs, (having already acquired some raffle tickets and several flyers), I paid the entrance and was given a numbered ticket (for the signature queue later) and a sticker to label me as one of the ‘in’ crowd. It was then time to take in the ‘Sci Fi Gallery’. This was an exhibition of artwork depicting characters from various Science Fiction shows. They were all of a very high standard, but my favourites were some of Alice Krige as the Borg Queen.
I didn't leave it too long though before finding a seat in the main hall – in fact sitting with the same couple. While we waited we were treated to a collection of SF music videos, for example shots of Quark’s bar set to the Cheers theme. Some of these were pretty funny. It wasn't long though before everyone was in and the show began. First up was an unadvertised treat – what must be the first UK showing of the episode ‘Life Line’, which is not due on Sky for 4-5 months. Technical problems meant it was shown in black and white, but I don’t think anyone minded. I certainly didn’t. In the episode, the Doctor travels to the Alpha Quadrant to attempt to treat his dying creator. Unfortunately, he turns out to be a very difficult patient. It’s very funny, well acted (with Bob in two parts of course), and features two TNG characters, Barclay and Troi. It was also great to watch it with an audience.
Next up was Bob himself. I snapped a few pictures as he came in (I borrowed a camera this time!) He was rather incongruously dressed in a suit and baseball cap, though the cap was quickly hung up once he reached the stage. Meanwhile I grabbed my notepad (much more prepared this time…), though the evening turned out to be so fast-moving that my 4 pages of notes were far from sufficient! Yep, hold on tight, this is going to be loooonnng… Bob is a great stand-up, firing comments at a high rate. As such, much of this report will keep the note format.
Bob launched straight into a series of jokes, interspersed with factual information. He’d thought of calling the event ‘An Evening With Robert Beltran’, because it would get more people…Beltran apparently signs cast photo’s across Jeri Ryan’s chest, presumably to make sure his signature is seen…‘Life Line’ is the first use of motion control on Voyager (that is a computer controlled camera, which allows exactly the same camera movements to be run through twice, so Bob could play both characters in moving shots), and the first case of an actor in the show getting a writing credit… Since Seven has been so popular, he suggested they bring in her twin sisters, 6 of 1 and half dozen of the other…The doctor is of course also very fond of Torres (as we may have noticed). Of their potential love child: “Can you imagine the forehead on that?” He then asked for questions. (There was a microphone set up in the middle of the hall for this).
Q: Was the role more challenging than expected?
Yes, and more interesting. The role was originally described as “Computer program of a Doctor. Colourless. Humourless.” He didn’t want it, but auditioned for Neelix, reaching the last three actors up for that role. He was put off by the makeup. They are notoriously cagey about that…after repeated questioning he was told it would be “more than 15 minutes”. At his audition for the Doc, he broke the rules by ad-libbing. The last line was something like “I think someone has omitted to turn off my program”, to which he added, “I’m a Doctor, not a nightlight”.
Bob then joked about the fact that the person who asked the question had stood very politely through his long answer, and must have been wishing he hadn’t gone on so long.
Q: What is his favourite aria?
'Nessun Dorma', which makes him “well up” every time he hears it, though he is not good enough to sing it. It was his idea that the Doc be an opera fan.
Bob took this as his cue to sing his first spoof song. His backing CD had not arrived, so he sang without it. But, as anyone who has heard his song in ‘Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy’ knows, he has a very pleasant voice, and a very funny repertoire. I really wish I could write faster, because it was HYSTERICAL. In fact Bob had to shush the audience at several points as they broke into applause. The song commented on the fickleness of fans (whaaat, you mean us? NO!) It was full-length, based on the Carol King song. I can’t read half of what I did note down (laughing too hard I guess), but here’s some sample lines:
‘Tonight I’m on the only first-run Star Trek show….
…..
When Paramount develops the next new show…
Will you still love me, tomorrow?’
More questions:
Q: What is his favourite uniform?
To be honest, I didn’t really take in his answer, though he did comment that the uniforms are not forgiving of a big belly (not that he has reason to worry)…he hasn’t inhaled on camera for 6 years. (Spoiler, go onto next question if you don’t want to know) I was distracted from his answer as he commented that of course, it was strange that Voyager is still in the old uniforms, and didn’t know about the new ones. He then went on to say that he has been told by the writers that Voyager will be returning to the Alpha Quadrant in the seventh season, so there may be a chance for the crew to try the new ones.
Q: Has he had any reservations about parts, as a Christian (e.g., horror films he has appeared in such as The Howling)?
The Howling is of course a very good film of its type (this was said seriously, he seemed to respect the film)…but he wouldn’t let his children watch it…and it now gives him the creeps watching it (I think he meant ‘creeps’ as in scary). He has actually turned down a film script in the last year because the character was so despicable… He enjoys working on a show, which is secular, but has strong ethical content.
Q: Were the two EMHs in ‘Message In A Bottle’ intended to interact like Niles and Frasier Crane?
(Bob seems surprised and delighted by this question). This was, of course, the first episode in which the Doctor was “e-mailed” to the Alpha quadrant… He would have liked one of the Frasier actors, David Hyde-Pierce*, to take the other role, but he was busy on a movie. So yes, he did have that in his mind…this episode is the one with the most jokes suggested by him in it, six in all. For example, to the scripted line of "Stop breathing down my neck" he suggested the follow-on’s:
“My breathing is merely a simulation.”
“So is my neck. Stop it anyway.”
Q: (Actually more of a comment). The audience member describes an episode in which, as she sees it, Seven has false memory syndrome.
Bob tries to remember the name of the episode, but finally asks the audience, with the comment that he thinks it begins with a ‘D’. As silence descends I (yes, I said I) shout out “Retrospect!” to which Bob responds “That does not start with a ‘D’. That does not even contain a ‘D’”…I am now hiding my head and trying to climb into the floor, until I hear Bob confirm, that it is indeed ‘Retrospect’, and continue in the same vein, now clearly making fun of himself, not me.
The woman then commented that she worked in mental health, and as such the episode had really struck a chord for her, and she felt it was very realistic.
Q: Was he worried that he would be typecast after Voyager?
He’d be lying if he said no, but he is more worried by the trend to younger and younger casts. He had a successful career before Voyager, which he hopes will protect him against typecasting…and he has saved all his hairpieces.
Q: Is there rivalry between the Star Trek casts?
Honestly, he hasn’t felt so. He spent the last week with Ethan Phillips and Armin Shimerman (Quark on DS9). He then commented that he noticed that the resurgence in Trek had come in the hiatus between the Star Wars movies, and wondered if, with them back on the scene, Trek would disappear again. He invited the audience to tell him no, but nobody did. For myself, I was wondering if he had a point, though I hope not.
Q: Didn’t really catch this, but it was a comment on re-runs of ‘The Wonder Years’.
(Bob takes down the baseball cap from where he has hung it, and puts it on) “The Jock strap. What is it? What can it do for you?” (Takes the cap off and hangs it up again). He’s proud of his early career…feels blessed by the opportunities he’s had…he nearly appeared on stage in London in the past…dreams of doing this one day.
Q: What have been his best and worst moments on the show, and how does he cope with the techno-babble?
He has to learn the techno-babble thoroughly, because the slightest hesitation in saying it would be out of character. In fact there is some early techno-babble, from the episode where Neelix had his lungs stolen that he thinks he can still remember six years on. He pauses to think…then admits that actually he has finally forgotten it. (He seems quite pleased). The sickbay scene in ‘Killing Game’, where Seven appeared in World War II costume, was a problem…(he digresses to talk about Jeri’s legs at this point. Apparently this counts as a best moment too)…Due to other commitments he didn’t have time to learn the lines and froze.
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Both Robert Beltran and Jeri Ryan frequently tape their lines in convenient places (for example, Robert will put them in a coffee cup). Bob would cheat in the same way, but he doesn’t ‘read well’. Kate Mulgrew is incredible at memorising…she can get a script a few minutes before a scene and learn it perfectly…an amazing professional.
An early scene in 'Life Line' was a nightmare. It was a long scene, with his two characters moving around. He had to hit his marks exactly or he’d end up with the characters heads overlapping or something. It took seventeen takes, and he was totally exhausted.
Q: How will you get Worf on the show?
Bob would love to get Worf on the show. He’s done personal appearances with Michael Dorn, and would like to work with him.
Bob then gave us another song, about commercialism and action figures:
‘Viacom own me
I’ll be sold for Christmas
You can purchase me
…..
Buy our cast for Christmas
….
You’ll find it hard, to buy Picard, and not buy Picardo’
….
(Again, this in no way does the song justice!)
Bob then held a small auction, starting with the Baseball cap (a genuine Voyager crew cap apparently), which he sold for a church building fund. His sales technique was very entertaining. At one point he put the cap on, swivelled it around a few times, and commented that it now had his sweat on. It reached £170 (I think the exchange rate is usually around two US dollars to the pound). He then auctioned two signed pictures donated by Patrick Stewart, for a children’s theatre group that Patrick supports. These reached £60 and £80.
Q: Is there any chance of a ‘three doctors’ episode?
With Crusher and Bashir? A great idea…though he can’t think of a way of justifying bringing them all together. (Bob seems intrigued by this idea. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is done one day. If so, you know where it came from!)
Q: (I think) Asks about rumours of a joint TNG/ Voyager movie.
Bob can neither confirm nor deny this rumour, because he hasn’t heard it…He could make something up, but he’d be lying…Of course, he knows and has worked with many of the TNG cast. He lists “Frakes, LeVar, Brent, Patrick…” He’d love to work with them.
He then tells the story of how before ‘First Contact’ he mentioned to Rick Berman, Brannon Braga, and Jonathan Frakes on separate occasions, that he thought it strange that Voyager had an EMH, and the more advanced new Enterprise didn’t. Not long after he got a phone call saying they’d had an idea…would he like to play an EMH on the Enterprise?
(I’d been thinking of joining the question queue for some time. But there were always a couple of people waiting, and I didn’t want to take my pad with me, or stop taking notes. Finally, I decided to take the plunge. Just in time as it happens, as it was announced that there would only be time for 2-3 more questions…which meant I’d be the last. The remaining questions are written from memory).
Q: What’s it like working with Jeri Ryan? (Didn’t you just know that someone would ask this?)
People who meet Jeri are surprised to find that she is constantly smiling and laughing, unlike her character. When she first came on the show he found it too distracting to look at her, and would frequently deliberately look past her when doing scenes. It must have seemed rude…but he’s used to her now. In rehearsals he frequently changes lines to make them into innuendoes (he gave an example, which I wish I had down)…she’s a good sport and finds this funny.
The woman in front of me then goes to take the mike. As she walks up, Bob talks:
One more question…wait a minute…is that someone else crouched behind…what ARE you doing crouched down there? He turns to the audience, and describes how I am crouched down behind the other woman, and implies that I’ve been up to something! I’m laughing my head off.
I’m too distracted to really take in the next question, but it’s about the show ‘China Beach’, and Bob talks movingly about it and the Vietnam War.
Meanwhile, a steward is asking me to please keep it brief. I promise to do my best, but can’t help thinking that I can’t control how long Bob chooses to talk. As I move up to take the mike, Bob complements me on having stayed crouching during the last question and not standing up…my legs must be hurting. (I guess the working-out I’ve been doing lately must be paying off, because I really hadn’t felt it).
Q: (Me!) I say I’ve seen Bob’s fan club site, and noticed that there is some fan fiction there. Has he got any comments about fan fiction?
Do I mean the ‘romantic’ kind or the other? (I say either). He has to admit; he finds it hard to keep a straight face when reading it…especially the more ‘romantic’ passages…Actually, he hasn’t read that much. With all the Science Fiction and stuff at work, he prefers to leave it behind when he goes home. Of course, he finds it very, very flattering…especially certain parts…actually, if he read more he might get jealous of some of the, ahem, added subroutines to the Doctor’s program…
Bob then thanked the audience for an enjoyable evening, and made his way out to rapturous applause.
There was then some time to wait, as they called people up in groups to join the autograph queue. I was ticket 261 of (it turned out) 262. I guess most people had bought their tickets in advance! However, more clips set to music filled the time nicely. One video (which I missed the start of unfortunately) cut Janeway talking on the bridge with the Aliens from ‘Mars Attacks’, then a line from ‘Airplane’ (“What’s that woman doing flying that ship anyway?”) and ended with the ‘Airplane’ line, “And don’t call me Shirley”, dubbed onto Worf.
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I took a look at the table with available prints. They were charging for these, but prices were considerably lower than the last event I went to, and I heard that if you already had something to sign, then it was free. They had the photo of the cast laughing, which I had heard Roxann comment she really liked. It is a lovely photo, so I decided to treat myself, and get that and one of Bob. I went back and sat down. I noticed plenty of people coming back with their photos. I was amused to notice, after Bob’s comments about Beltran signing Jeri’s chest, that Bob was signing the cast photos over Roxann!
By the time it was my turn the available prints were much depleted. I was disappointed to see that the cast photo had sold out (next time I will buy it at the start!), so I got just one of Bob, as the ‘Emergency Command Hologram’ from ‘Tinker, Tenor..’. The stewards were hurrying things along (I believe the event was nearly an hour over time by then), so there was no chance to get a photo taken or talk. I did mention I had a website…and Bob said he couldn’t promise to look, but give the details to his fan site. He looked tired, but was still friendly.
All that was left then was the drawing of the raffle, with signed photos and a poster as prizes (mostly from Stargate SG1 and Babylon 5). I didn’t win anything, but several very happy people did. Then I left for home.
I was thinking that some people might disapprove of Bob’s innuendoes about Jeri Ryan. Well, all I can say is that Bob is the rare man who can get away with it without being offensive. After all, he was making innuendoes about me, and I honestly felt totally comfortable about it, and found it very funny – and I wouldn’t with many men. Though he has a wicked sense of humour, he also treated the audience with respect and gentleness. When people were nervous at the mike, he waited patiently and respectfully while they found their voice.
All in all, the evening was everything I’d hoped for and much more. I’d recommend anyone with a basic knowledge of Trek, even if they’re not really a fan, to go and see Bob. He really does put on an excellent show. I’m sure I missed most of it out! I just wish he’d bring out a CD of those songs…
*Thanks to Sandra for the name of the actor, which I missed at the time.
Contacts:
Sci-Fi Picture Co (e-mail). They originally arranged with Bob to hold the event, bringing in Wolf for their organisational expertise (Thank you to them for giving me the backstory!) Please contact them for information about artwork.
Wolf Events
Coming up they have a Stargate convention, and (going into next year),
Bob (again), and a Voyager convention with Kate Mulgrew and Robert Duncan
McNeill.
CARPE (the Central Alliance of
Robert Picardo Enthusiasts).
Bob's official fanclub page. Has more fan reports, information and fan
fiction.
Pictures:
I hope to have pictures from the event soon.
This page is part of
The Borg
Grail. If you have not already done so, please visit the
Main Page for news and an introduction to my
site.
Site Guide / Consideration
is Puerile / The Hall of Innocence /
The Hall of Amazons / Reports
/ Stories / Links /
Webrings / News Archive /
View Guestbook /
Sign Guestbook
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All original material, unless otherwise credited, is Copyright © 2000 Rowan Green. All rights reserved.
