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Warning! Fans of Voyager and/or Chakotay may find parts of this report disturbing!
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Q: What's his favourite episode?
He knows a lot of people don't like it, but it's 'Unforgettable', because it's about real people and a nice little story. He also quite likes 'In The Flesh' (though he clearly finds the 8472's, or 'mantises' as he calls them, pretty silly). At this point someone asked if he liked 'Nemesis'. He commented that it had kind of strange dialogue…he thinks they should have done it properly or not done it at all. (I agree on this one - I think the universal translator was not working properly that day!)
Q: Does he think Chakotay would get more screen time if he took more interest in the writing, as some of the actors seem to?
He imitates Robert Picardo (the voice is perfect): 'I have an idea for an episode…and of course I'll direct it…' Yes, possibly a bit. But of course, there's someone who prefers to write for his girlfriend anyway…
He tells us how the episode 'The Fight', in the 5th season, came about. Apparently before the start of each season, the writers have dinner with each of the actors and ask them if they have anything they'd like to see for their characters. 'As if they care…' He was more interested in the food, but said something vague about wanting some love interest. They asked him if there was a holo-program he thought Chakotay would like to have. He said if it were him, he'd spend his time in a football program. They liked this, but said they couldn't use football…maybe another sport? He suggested baseball…but that's been done on DS9, so in the end it came to boxing. Did he think he'd be able to stay in shape for it?
Apparently it's virtually impossible to stay in shape during the filming season, because they often do 12-15 hour days, starting at some ungodly hour-and there is no way you are going to get up earlier to work out first. Every year, Robbie McNeill for instance comes in (imitates having arm muscles so big he can't put his arms by his side), and by the end he's (imitates face-stuffing). Plus a few weeks later Garrett came in raving about how they were going to give him a Kung fu episode ('Hey man! They're gonna let me do some KUNG FU!'). Since this was close to the boxing idea he thought there was no way they would do both…so he stopped worrying.
They actually gave him the script a couple of days before the start of shooting, which, of course, was not enough time to get in shape…he felt he did not look fit enough to be convincing if he boxed topless, and rang the powers-that-be the night before to say so. They promised to ring him back to talk about it, so when they didn't, he thought he'd made his point. Next day however it became clear that everyone on set was expecting him to go topless…after some time, calls being made etc, he announced (in front of everyone, including visitors to the set), that he was doing it with the shirt on, or he would walk. He did it with the shirt on…
Q: How does he get on with the techno babble?
The audience probably knows a lot more than he does…(there is some interaction, in which it's established that 'warp particles' is about the only phrase he can come up with, and the audience don't know much more).
He's hopeless at learning his lines. When doing bridge scenes it's OK if they 'cover' (I guess this means do the scene with the camera on a particular person) other people first, because then he has time to learn it. But when they do him first, he often comes up with all kinds of excuses to hide that he doesn't know the line. Pretending something has distracted him, or saying that he thinks the line is something Chakotay wouldn't say…
Kate tells him off frequently. However, while she can reduce Garrett to a quivering heap with her force ten glare, he's impervious to it. He gives us his rendition of a pissed off, growling, Kate… 'I did a 15 hour shoot yesterday, and I know my lines perfectly. So I can't see why you can't'. His rejoinder was funny, but I don't remember the words. It was somewhere along the lines of 'Aw...get lost'.
Q: Robert Picardo says he likes to sign cast photos over Jeri Ryan's bust. Is it true?
He says it's certainly not deliberate. Maybe sometimes it's the only space left.
Q: There were a few questions about the fact that many of the cast sing / would he sing for us?
He commented that no doubt Picardo had sung 50 songs, to which he had of course written the words. He mentioned that Roxann has a lovely voice…and basically said no-way was he going to sing! Someone then asked him to sing happy birthday to their mother. It seemed he was going to decline, (saying something about a sore throat), but as several people shouted out 'what's her name?' he started us off and let the audience sing it. He only joined in a little at the start and the end though.
Q: Is it true he mutilates action figures?
He sometimes gets Garrett Wang's post. One time he got a parcel containing an action figure of Garrett. This figure annoys him, because he thinks it looks more Mexican than his. So one day when he was bored he drew a big droopy moustache on it. Next time Garrett came by his trailer (something he does a lot apparently), he saw it and was not pleased, especially as it was a low number of a limited edition. ('Aw maan! I could've got 500 bucks for that!) He says that's actually the only time he's mutilated an action figure.
Q: Is he glad to get away from the Mexican bandits?
Not at all. He greatly enjoyed the Mexican bandits both on and off the set.
I can't believe how much I've written! But there was more…Briefly…He talked about working with Chuck Norris on 'Lone Wolf McQuade'. Apparently he's very down to earth, and was very nice to him. (He told more stories, but I got lost as I've only seen part of the film)…He's not that interested in finding out his exact ancestry, though since (as he jokes at some length) there's a lot of people who liked his people's women, he's probably a mongrel of some description*…He'd like to do 'Othello' (both main parts), maybe with Patrick Stewart (who he doesn't know)…It was Picardo's idea that the Doctor have a mobile emitter. Though he probably regretted it the first day when he found out how boring shoots on the bridge set are…In the episode 'Tattoo' the nude scene is not Robert - he refused so they used a double…He comes from a large family (9 siblings), and one which was fairly poor…In fact there is probably quite a lot I've missed out. Robert certainly worked hard for us!
At the end Brian, one of the organisers, brought him a piece of paper. Firstly he pretended to read out something derogatory about himself, as if he had the wrong side! Turns out it was actually a 'Galaxy Ball' flyer. This is an event that Robert is closely involved with. It raises money for Down's Syndrome (Robert's youngest sibling has the condition). He told us everyone who came last year would be coming, plus some surprises (and apparently Garrett didn't make it last year because he had a gambling date in Vegas…). Robert also said we shouldn't take his comments about the other cast members too seriously. They all do it, and it's in good fun. (This has been my impression.) He imitates Kate a lot because her voice is so distinctive which makes her easy to do…but she's actually a very good friend. He then picked up a plastic pack of photos from those ready on a nearby table, and, pretending to be a star on an ego trip, commented that this was where we could get our pictures of him, but he didn't know what these were doing there - the top photo was a signed one of Brent Spiner as Data. Brian said they were for the raffle. Robert then joked that the picture was of the original character 'Chakodata' who didn't make it onto the screen. He added (back in star/ego mode) 'Mulgrew wouldn't stand for this'. Then he went to freshen up before the signing session.
Brian told us how the rest of the event would be organised. The pictures had arrived, and they'd sort them out as people came up for autographs. As with the Picardo evening, we'd be called up in groups according to our numbered tickets. Robert would sign one thing for free, but if we wanted anything else, we'd have to buy a photo (fair and sensible - you don't want everyone to bring a stack of things). He said two of the photos hadn't come out well (eyes closed by Robert in one, and the person in the other), so they'd get those re-taken, signed and sent to the people. He also wanted the families with children to come up first. I've got to say; my opinion of Wolf events went up a couple more notches with these last announcements.
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Again I was a fair way down in the ticket order. I spent the time chatting with Claire and others. They also drew the raffle. Prizes were the signed photos and two tickets to the 'Voyager - The Return' convention next year. I didn't win. They also showed more of those spoof music videos. Examples - Shots of Seven set to 'Barbie Girl' and of action Kate to the theme from 'Wonder Woman'. The funniest I saw this time though had to be a Voyager compilation to the theme from 'The Brady Bunch'. Of course, I was also watching what was going on at the signing table - it all seemed very relaxed. Though he had a chair, Robert seemed to prefer to stand next to people and chat while he signed, and to be happy to have more photos taken. He was also giving all the women hugs and kisses on the cheek. (I notice both the episodes he quoted as his favourites included kissing scenes. Does anyone else think there is a pattern developing here?)
I waited with Claire for her turn. I got to look at quite a few people's photos, and they were excellent. Large and very good quality, and many of them really nice pictures. I also got mine - it's not brilliant, but at least I don't look quite as shell-shocked, or open-mouthed, as in the one with Roxann! After Claire had her photo signed she had to go, so I decided to try and find some women from the Internet. Robert's site, ORB, has a message board, and the night before I'd noticed lots of women posting about coming to the events, though I hadn't had time to post anything myself or mail them. I looked around, saw a table full of young women, and soon confirmed they were indeed the gang from ORB. They seemed nice women, and mostly looked a little dazed (Of course, I'm getting to be an old hand at this celebrity thing now…)
When it came to my turn to get a signature, Robert was very friendly and relaxed, and chatted as he signed my picture (with some difficulty, as the pen decided not to co-operate!) I was a bit worried about writing this report, since he did say some stuff that I really was quite surprised to hear. But I told him I write fan reports, and asked him if there was anything he would rather I left out, to which he replied, 'Write whatever you like.' It felt very supportive. He also took the address for this website, and said he would look it up. (So, if he's found the time: Hi Robert!) I also told him that, with reference to what Picardo had said about signing Jeri's chest, that I'd noticed he was signing on Roxann, so he could get him back. Robert didn't say anything, just gave me a big, wicked smile! Picardo had better watch out! Oh yeah, I did get a hug too.
Robert continued signing for quite a time after that. I did more chatting and watching videos. At one point I heard laughter from him - it turned out that he'd been presented with a signed photo of all the bar staff. Finally he disappeared upstairs again. Soon after one of the staff appeared and presented one of the ORB group with a prize she'd won at a previous event - a life size cardboard cut-out of Seven. Her expression was a treat. She obviously had some mixed feelings. After all, can we really expect a straight woman to want a life size Seven? Especially when she was waiting for her parents to pick her up…and especially in that silver suit. (I'll take the opportunity to say, I hate that suit! It looks like the nasty skin you get on salmon. Yuk.) There were a few jokes about how she'd come for Robert and ended up with Jeri. Anyway, I notice that she posted at ORB that Seven got home fine, and I'm sure she will find her a good home. I also got my ticket for the 'Voyager-The Return' convention next year…can't believe I'm organising something more than a year in advance!
By now the crowd was thinning out, and the staff told us they were closing (to clean up before the evening session I should think). The event had started at 12, and it was then around 6pm. Robert came down, and was immediately detained by a couple of women. As I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up before leaving, I couldn't resist saying 'Let him go! Let him go!' When I got back he was still there, apparently quite happy, surrounded by women, saying goodbye to them as they went out (yep, more kissing and hugging). I managed to reach through the crush and exchanged an affectionate arm clasp with him, before heading out the door. Apparently a few of those leaving hadn't got very far. A small but decidedly dreamy crowd occupied the pavement outside. I asked who was heading for the tube, and about six of us set off as a group.
Needless to say, the main subject of conversation was how gorgeous Robert was, what a flirt he was, and how, um, friendly he had been. I commented that I couldn't believe that I was supposed to be a lesbian, but I'd been happy to join in…but he was the most attractive man I'd seen in a long time. The only man in the group joined in to agree. Since he looked straight I teased him 'what? You fancied him too?' To which he replied that some aspects of attractiveness transcend gender. Here, here to that! I then joked that maybe if he had a sex change…as I said it, I saw a really clear mental image of Robert as a butch dyke, and I have to say, it was a nice picture! (But don't panic straight women…I can't see him going for it somehow…) We carried on, talking about episodes, the convention next year, and other SF series. I spent part of the walk discussing how cute Amanda Tapping from 'Stargate SG1' is, with a straight woman who agreed with me. I like the people I meet at these events…
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Conclusions? Well, I went half expecting not to like Robert. But …it's true he isn't really into science fiction, which I find a shame, but I think you could have an intelligent, in depth discussion with him about it - he made a lot of valid points. It's also sad that he doesn't seem to be enjoying his job too much. I hope they give him more to do in the last season - from what I've heard and seen of season 6, they do seem to be preparing the ground for bringing up the Marquis issue, so I hope there'll be a few good episodes for him coming up. (I liked Chakotay in the first few seasons, but he has been pretty boring recently…). As for his uncaring attitude, I feel it's perhaps as much a case of him being laid-back, emotionally tough (as he said of himself) and not letting things get to him. He did actually have some ideas for Chakotay (even if they were ones that a lot of the fans wouldn't like), so I don't think he's totally disinterested. It's also clear that he is prepared to set his personal boundaries when he feels the need to, and will stick to them (as several of his stories showed). I wouldn't like to have to argue with him! I don't want to make him out to be a saint (I don't think he is), but I liked him a lot. He was charming, witty, friendly and an outrageous flirt. Overall, the afternoon was fun and surprising in a lot of ways.
Oh yeah: no wedding reception this time, though I'm sure most of the women there would have been happy to rectify that.
* Robert is Native American, but of Central American not North American descent. He was himself born and raised in the States, but his grandparents came from Mexico, which was home to peoples such as the Aztec and the Maya. These groups integrated with European incomers, such as the Spanish, producing the 'Mestizos'. Robert is Mestizo. Apparently he gets fed up of questions about this; so if you want to know more, read the feature on his website!
Actually, it sounds a lot like the English, who are, of course, a mix of Celtic, Anglo Saxon, and Norman blood for a start....(I'm part Jewish as well...)
Pictures: comments are mine, and not to be taken seriously!
Links:
The Official Robert Beltran Fan
Site
Includes lots of information on Robert (including stuff written by
himself), a message board and information on the Galaxy Ball. If you go
into the 'features' section, there's a link for a short clip of him
singing in one of his previous films. I wish we'd persuaded him to sing
more now!
Wolf Events
Organised this event. I've been impressed by the friendly atmosphere they
create, and the effort they put into keeping you entertained. Can't wait
for the convention next year!
Pages Bar
A great, friendly venue for the SF crowd, with regular theme nights. The
website has lots of information, photos from past events (including some
great ones of Nicole deBoer) and photos of the bar (so you can see what
it's like!)
This page is part of
The Borg
Grail. If you have not already done so, please visit the
Main Page for news and an introduction to my
site.
Site Guide / Consideration
is Puerile / The Hall of Innocence /
The Hall of Amazons / Reports
/ Stories / Links /
Webrings / News Archive
/ View Guestbook /
Sign Guestbook
Star Trek (R) is a registered trademark of Paramount Pictures registered
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Star Trek: Voyager is a trademark of Paramount Pictures.
All original material, unless otherwise credited, is Copyright © 2000 Rowan Green. All rights reserved.
