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1. I have moss growing:

   A) In my garden
   B) In my bathroom
   C) In my kitchen
   D) On my teeth

2. When I open my mouth at parties, people:

   A) Listen
   B) Ease away slowly
   C) Stuff a live weasel down my throat

3. I think computers are:

   A) Uninteresting
   B) Interesting
   C) Too damn small for the stuff I want to do

4. I think sheep are:

   A) Uninteresting
   B) Interesting
   C) Annoyingly far away from where I live.

5. The Usenet Oracle is:

   A) A pack of weenies who think about "Lisa" way too much
   B) Interesting
   C) Not appreciative of the great answers I write; the Priesthood is out to get me

6. The gender I desire to have sexual relations with is:

   A) Difficult to understand
   B) Impossible to understand
   C) Clearly from a different planet
   D) How should I know? I've only seen pictures

7. Bill Gates is:

   A) Bill who?
   B) Very wealthy
   C) Head of Microsoft, which produces some widely used products
   D) The Antichrist

8. In general, people:

   A) Like me
   B) Don't like me
   C) People? What people?

9. My friends are:

   A) Diverse
   B) People I know from work or school
   C) Wearing the same clothing I am

10. My dream vacation is:

    A) Tibet
    B) Europe
    C) California
    D) In a room with lots of fluorescent lights and an unlimited supply of coffee

11. My job prospects are:

    A) Abysmal
    B) Adequate
    C) I'll never be out of work, you hear me? Never!
    D) They pay people to do this?

     

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Score 0 for each A, 1 for each B, 2 for each C, and 3 for each D.

19 or more : Yep. You're a computer geek, all right.
13 - 18 : You're a geek of some stripe or another.
7 - 12 : Probably not a geek, but watch it...
0 - 6 : If you're of the opposite sex, could you leave a note for me in the personals column? Please? Hello?

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