My Guardian Angel

On Christmas, 1995, my sister came to me, with a card that read

Needless to say, this made us cry together, all day, and many days following. For we knew, going through the pregnancy together, ultra-sounds, doctors appointments, from the beginning, we knew she would be a sick little girl. I was present in the delivery room as coach, as I have been with all her children, and she entered the world with many arms reaching out for her. She had made it through the delivery, and we cried. Through the first year we went through many successful operations. Sheryl Nicole was a fighter, and determined to be here with those who loved her deeply. She was meant to be. She brought a smile and great joy to all that encountered her. My little Angel had made it through the toughest of all operations. It was during minor surgery that our world would forever be destroyed.

The doctors accidently put a hole in Sheryl's heart. It wasn't discovered until it was too late. Her lungs had filled with blood, and she slipped into a coma. I got to the hospital just in time for my sister, absolutely devestated, to fall into my arms, sobbing uncontrollably, she had to make the heart wrenching decision to pull the plug. It was not a decision of living or dying at this point, it was a matter of when to let her go. I was mortified. My angel baby, my little sister, I couldn't make it better for her, as I always did when she was little. On Halloween, at 3:10 PM 1997, Little Sheryl Nicloe took her last breath, in my arms. She was 20 months old. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I wanted to run, to deny, but I couldn't. I was there when she came into this world, and there it only appropriate that I be there when she left. I am greatful, yet scarred for life, of the picture that was once so perfect. Sheryl Nicole.

I will forever be in grief. Never knowing complete happiness, for this loss has been tragic. There will always be an emptiness for me and my family. I had just purchased a clock the week before, put it on a wall in my bedroom. On the evening that little Sheryl passed away, it seemed like I had been gone forever, I went to my room, turned on the light and looked at the clock to see what time it was, as if it mattered, I looked at the clock. It said 3:10. I blinked, my mind was playing tricks, I am stressed. I stared at the clock. 3:10.....that's what it said. I went to the kitchen. No, this clock said 1 AM.......needless to say, the clock still hangs on my wall, untouched. Forever at 3:10. The time that my whole world fell apart. I purchased a Guardian Angel doll for my neice the day she was born. And my sister generously let me have it when Sheryl passed away. It sits on my dresser, next to her picture. A forever reminder of the love I felt for a very special little girl, and a grim reminder of the loss.

The music you hear is from a song by Celine Dion, who sang it in memory of her neice Karin, who also died in her arms.

Fly

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Angel Standing By

All through the night I'll be standing over you
All through the night I'll be watching over you
And through the bad dreams I'll be right there, baby
Holding your hand, telling you everything is all right
And when you cry I'll be right there
Telling you you were never anything less than beautiful
So don't you worry
I'm your Angel standing by

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