| 1967: Born into the revolutionary Shanghai of People's Republic of China on the 20th of September. Blood type: O. Suffered from quite an accident at birth with my brain squeezed out of my skull by my dear mother, who said she suffered from the ill-advice from poor-qualified revolutionary doctors and nurses who told her to push at wrong moments too early and was too hungry to carry out that final push for me to get into this world when the real moment came. She also suffered a lot during her pregnancy and had to escape from the tortures by the revolutionaries on the run. Well, I do love my mother, despite her lack of determination at that particular moment of my birther. Must be quite a sight, with my brain contained in a thin skin ball hanging on top of my head. Yes, I was born a two-headed monster baby, ha. And did my uncle suggested to throw me into the bin as I would need so much money for extra nuitrition just to get my brain back into my skull. Luckily, my dear mother persisted with me and fed me with extra nuitrition with such things as real milk made from milk powder which was in scarcity and very expensive at that time. Gradually, my brain went back into my skull and I survived my first year on the earth. And as for my uncle (my mother's elder brother), he has survived his own illness to date with his internal organs allegedly only 1/3 of the normal sizes. He is also a miracle, so I don't really have any qualms about his evil and selfish suggestion at my birth. Long live the survivors. |
| 1971: This was when my own earliest memories started. Lived with my mother in a labour re-education factory at Luodian Town of Baoshan County. It was a factory with quite a good number of interesting people. My mother at that time belonged to the category to be re-educated. However, somehow she took up a position with more priviledge, probably because of her membership in the Communist Party, or her less degree of offences, or the fact that my father was at that time mixing with those in power. My mother was assigned to keep an eye on one woman in her 50's, who belonged to the condemned group. She lived upstairs from us, with a ladder leading up to her attic dwelling. I remembered very well once that she offered me some cooked potatos, but my mother forbade me to eat anything offered from her. That was that, I always obeyed my mother. Still, I followed that woman in her daily chores, perhaps out of pure curiosity. She was ordered to water the celement columns that we had made at noon when the sun was the hottest. She did her job with a hunched back. I also worked with my mother in making the cement columns, by filling the column shells with wet cement. It was perhaps fun for me, as I did not really think much of it as labour, more so as re-educational labour. The leader was a man in his early 30's. He also chaired the weekly meetings. During one of the meetings, one of the re-educating men cried to confess and criticise his own mistakes in taking a factory magazine home. As time went by, I started to attend the nursery. I went there by myself, crossing roads. I remembered the scene when the last of my classmates bid me farewell as I carried on alone the journey home along a major road. Such was life then, it was normal. My mother was quite popular there among all the people on both sides. We made a good friend in one of the re-educating people, who was a county official before the Cultural Revolution. He used to call himself my old friend and carried me on his back to go to movies, when they were shown in town, a few miles away from the factory. I joined in the working after schools and learnt things from the craftsmen here and there. Life was otherwise quite peaceful and perhaps enjoyable in a way until one disaster struck the factory one day. I came back from the nursery as usual that day. Suddenly, I realised the atmosphere at the factory was very heavy and serious. The Leader was particularly serious looking and I dared not to ask him what had happened. From my mother, I learnt that there had been a breakdown for one of the main cutting machines. They had been searching for the culprits all afternoon. The words did not sink in me, until I sat with the potential suspects who were told to learn Mao's teachings and came forward to confess if any of them had committed the crime. The Leader's face was very serious. The meeting went on till early morning, when I was too tired to stay awake. So I went home, leaving these desperate people with their faces blued by exhaustion and exasperation as the lasting images in my mind. I got home and mum was doing some stitching work in bed. I told her that I might have caused the breakdown. Mum looked really worried, but she persuaded me to sleep over it. Came the morning, I woke up and found mum was waiting by the bedside. I told her that I did cause the breakdown out of some sort of mistakes. Mum was horrified, but she took me to the Leader. The Leader was quite shocked too. It was the biggest crime in the factory for a long while and he found it shocking that it was this innocent kid who had committed it. There was a long silence and a long discussions among the adults. At last, the Leader tried to conjure up something like a smile towards me. He asked me to show him how I did it. So I told him that I had hid a hand-made toy in the cutting machine before I went to the nursery. That might be the cause for the breakdown. I only did it to keep it safe so that nobody would steal my toy while I was at the nursery. The Leader was astonished. They went to the broken down machine and opened it. In there, they found the pieces of wood which had been finely worked seemingly by an experienced carpenter. They still could not believe that I could do something like that. So I went to the tool box and got out the necessary tools and demonstrated to them how I made the toy, which was to be strung with a string and pulled in the middle to rotate and make a charming noise, to the kids' ears. After that, they were completely convinced. And I had little memory about what happened afterwards. All I knew was that we left that factory and were transferred to Baoshan Town, where my father was working in the County Government. My mother went to work at Baoshan Primary School. I was sent back to live my grandparents at Dongmeng Village of Jiangwan Commune of Baoshan County. That year at the Luodian factory was quite an eventful year during my early childhood. I had flashes of entertaining memories there as well as horrid scenes where people were made to confess and the image of that condemned woman's face when we rejected her kind offering of potatoes and her hunched shadow when she watered the cemented columns under the noon sun. |
| 1972: I went to live my grandparents in the countryside of Shanghai. The memory there was a bit confusing to my current mind. It seemed that I had quite a number of near-death drowning incidents there, but was saved by the adults each time. I did not even remember who saved me, but I shall always be grateful to them. My elder sister was there too. That was probably the first memory of my elder sister and grandparents. My sister told me how she looked after me when I was a baby, but I had no recollection about that. Accordingly, I had lived there previously. Only because I had too many near misses in the river that my grandparents got really worried, that was why I was sent to live with my mother in the re-education factory at Luodian Town. The village life was quite an interesting one. We had a big house with wooden windows. At the front, we had a big sitting room, half of it was piled dried stock, to be used as fuel for cooking. Side by side, the other room was separated into a traditional kitchen and a small bedroom, where my grandpa and I slept. That room had a wooden floor and an open attic, accessible by a ladder in our bedroom. There was a corridor separating the front rooms and the back rooms. At the back, there were two bedrooms, one used by grandma and my sister and the other vacant, used by my parents or my uncle's when they came back home. At the very back of the house, there was the traditional toilet, connected with a rabbit barn. Outside, to the back of the house, there was a massive tree, which produced seeds, used as bullets with the catapults. There were three pieces of land where we grew various vegetables. The land was joined by a river, which was an extension of the fish ponds of the village. There was a little wooden bridge, which we used when we washed stuff in the river. The river at that time was quite clean and flourished with fish and other lives. 20 meters down the stream, there was a big stone bridge, which was commonly shared by a number of neighbours for washing things in the river. They washed most of the things in the river, apart from rice and vegetable, which they washed with well water. I remembered I went boating with my sister once and a fish just jumped into our boat. And there was a part of river that was full of water horsenuts. The river flew all across the whole village. On the other side of the bank, there was a vast piece of land, where various vegetables were grown according to seasons. Our door opened to the south, where we also had some sort of a square to our own use, all the way to the houses at the front. Our house is part of a three-house terrace. The neighbours on the left were also called Jin and we were not really related, at least not closely. That year, they had three generations living there. The young ones were two brothers and I was big brother to the elder one Linping who was a few years of my junior. Their grandpa was a carpenter and kept a dog called A Wang, which was a yellowish dog, well liked by kids including myself. The neighbours on the right had three generations too. The main man, Uncle Li, as I called him, was an officer in the navy. They had four children, all elder to me. The eldest was a boy, who was the big brother for me. I liked him very much, as he was strong and tall and treated me like his little brother. Two significant events happened that year. One day I went to play at the Jin's next door. They were having dinner and the old man gave me a piece of meat to eat. After I had eaten it, he told me it was A Wang's meat, as he was killed in a car accident that afternoon. I was horrified and very sad. I would never have eaten a piece of A Wang, had I known it. Later in the year, the old man died of stomache cancer. And more importantly, the whole village came down with hypertitis. As the village was so well connected by the same river, most of the people came down with the illness and had to go to stay at the hospital. I remembered to volunteer my arm for the blood test and was praised as a brave boy. And then I felt the sharp pain of the needle and could not stop the tears coming out of my eyes. I had fell victim to the disease too, together with my sister. My grandparents were ok. We stayed at the County Hospital at Baoshan Town. I remembered my grandma delivering food to us, which we had to pull it up with a string. It took me longer to come out of the hospital as I did not sleep properly and sufficiently. Also, when they wanted to test my blood, they had to pin me down, as I must be afraid of the needle by then. My sister recovered first and then I followed home. I was quite a top boy there in playing games. One thing I remembered very well was that I ruined my new clothes the first day my mum gave to me on New Year's Day. I liked climbing trees a lot and was catching fish, whelks, crabs in the river, though I never learnt to swim until very late. I was my grandpa's interpreter from my early childhood. I was probably the only one who could understand my grandpa fully, as his tongue had been distorted by a disease. He spoke with a husky voice and the speech was usually very difficult for others to understand easily. I loved my grandpa very much. He always managed to give me a few coins to buy sweets from shops and pedlars. The shops came to the village on their rounds on a cartwheel. The pedlars were looking for household wastes for recycling and we got some sugary nugets in return. We were very poor at that time, though life in the village was entertaining and abundant, in the sense that we always had the home grown vegetables and fruits. Once in a while, the village would kill one of its animals, usually a sheep, which was cooked and shared by all. It smelt wonderfully all over the village and tasted deliciously. At harvests, we could be distributed with all sorts of goodies, for example, fish. Also, the village had the tradition of sharing ceremonial occasions with close neighbours, such as birthdays, death, weddings and so on. Even though we were that poort at that time, once in a while we would be treated with something delicious, candies, painted eggs, noodles with spare ribs and banquets for various reasons. In the village, there was a good bunch of kids of my generation, so we had a lot of fun together. I must have done something wrong there, which had caused great alarm or worries to my grandparents, so much so that they sent me to live with my parents at Baoshan Town. They must have loved me a lot, as I was their only grandson at that time. I still remembered my grandpa carrying me on his back to see movies at the local primary school which was miles away from home. Also, he would take me on his bike to Jiangwan Town to have a little drink accompanied by tasty peanuts, doufu and so on. (My life at the village must be a long story in its own right, maybe I should tell it in more details elsewhere. Also, my memories about life there are quite mixed between the years, as I had lived there intermittently.) |
| 1973: There were three classes in the nursery at Baoshan Primary School. I went to the Middle class while one of my neighbour Weidong went to the Higher class, who was one year older than me. Generally speaking, I had a good time there. Teacher Li who was in charge of the class had been very kind and caring towards me. She must be in her early 30's and had a daughter who was also in the nursery. The thing that bothered me the most was the afternoon nap in the summer, which I could never do. I had to find ways to pass my time during those periods, but Teacher Li tolerated me. And I remembered we sang in the afternoons. There was one singing performance by the class which was attended by all the parents. My mum commented afterwards that I was rather nervous on the platform and looked to the sky rather than at the audience. There, one of my key weaknesses as it emerged later--I was never a public performer. That was as far I could remember about that year. |
| 1974: My first year into the formal schooling. I got it by skipping the last year of the nursery, as I had trouble sleeping in the afternoons and my mother used her staff influence at the School. The most exciting thing about that year was that I became a Young Civilian Solider and got trained to be one. I learnt to combat closely with a bladed gun and shoot with three types of guns. One of the guns which we called as Model 38 Gun was almost taller than me. It rubbed my shoulders black and blue whenever we marched with the guns on our shoulders. I was good at rifle shooting, but quite poor with air guns. We were even listed to demonstrate shooting for Vice Chairman Wang Hongwen at Dinjiaqiao. But before that, I was diagnosed as having hernia and had to have an operation, which came much later, as we waited for a good doctor to come around to operate on me. |
| 1975: Somehow, I went to live my grand parents at Dongmeng Village of Jiangwan Commune of Baoshan County. I also went to school there in Year 2 at the local primary school, which must be 2 miles away from our home. I must be quite a favourite there with the teachers. I was made Captain as the whole school was made into a military regimental system. My handwriting or writing was put on a notice board for the other students to have a look and learn. Was it because I came from the Town or was it because my father was staying with the right group of people who were in charge at that moment? One classmate of mine actually wrote with a chalk that she was my wife on the window of our classroom, which was quite an embarrassment for me and she was cautioned. At that age, I was forever into the boys' games. The only girl I liked was the girl in our neighbourhood, who was two years my junior. We played together with her younger brother regularly. The guilty girl was a Jin too and lived in our village, where a lot of Jin's families lived. Later in the year, her mother died of cancer and she was all tears, I remembered that scene quite well. Life could be never boring with me around. One day, I had three hungry boys eating up all our walnuts and some left-over rice. I was generous enough by nature and I had no interests in walnuts myself. But my grandparents were really upset, particularly my grandma. The walnuts were sent all the way home by her younger son from Shanxi. They were regarded as part of the rare delicacies, particularly when winter came and peoople made all sorts of sweet things to strengthen their bodies. I just shrugged it off as one of those incidents, as my grandparents were really lenient towards me. One day, I missed my mother very much. So I took one of the Ma brothers who was also in my class--he was one of the three hungry boys who feasted on our walnuts. I had only been on bus from Baoshan Town to Zhangmiao, which was the nearest bus stop for my grandparents' village. But I thought I could make it on foot. So we set off in the morning on one very hot summer day with no food, drink or money. We walked and walked. It was some 30 kilometers, and I had to make sure we were on the right way at junctions by following the No.53 Bus. We arrived in late afternoon to find my mother really surprised in her County Visitors' Office. I was born with a natural ability to remember roads, that proved it. My mother was more surprised than pleased. After feeding us, we were sent home by bus. I was quite happy with that adventure, though my mother showed very little emotion. Adults, particularly my parents, showed little affection or emotion towards their kids. That was the culture during the Cultural Revolutionary. My grandparents must be very worried with my absence from the school, but they said nothing when we arrived home very late that night. They must love me very much to tolerate me that far. Though I was living in the countryside, my grandparents never asked me to assist in farming work, unless I wanted to. I was mostly attending school and having fun with the kids in the village. I was doing well at school, so my grandparents must be quite proud of me too. During one exam, the girl sitting next to me wanted to copy from me. When I refused, she stabbed one pencil into my right palm, where the lead stayed with me for life. She also tried to cut one finger on my right hand, which left me with another permanent scar. She was found out and kicked out of the school. Funnily, I did not cry or shout out, as I was trying to endure the pains as the Revolutionaries did when they were tortured. I have always had this ability to withstand physical pains. I only cried when I was wronged, not when I was hurt. There was one last time that my grandpa took me to Jiangwan Town by bike. He fell with me as the road was littered with drying wheat stalks. We had pig's ears and peanuts and he had a drink of alcohol. That was the last time he was able to do that, since by then he had started to feel the onslaughter of his illness. He had worked so hard all his life. The only relaxation he had was to take me to see movies at the school and the few occasions we went to have a drink in town. He was a very quiet person, with few words. But people generally liked him very much. He was a farming expert in various areas. At the time, he was in charge of the Seeds and Young Plants Plot. On a number of nights, I would wake up to find him gone. So I went to find him there at the Plot. It would have been heavy raining or huge wind. He would be working alone to protect the young plants. After all the hard work, he took me home on his back, as I was too sleepy to walk. We had a very quiet and happy relationship. He asked me to teach him words in Mao's teaching during the evenings, under the gas lamp. He was very keen to learn things. Our bedroom at the front seemed to be a long way from the bedroom at the back where my sister and grandma slept. Ours was our own little world at night. The illness was still in its early days, so sometimes he would suffer from the pains and had to have a drink to soothe the pain. But he worked and worked so hard all year round. He was rather thin and about 1.65 meters tall. I actually looked quite like him. The only complaint he had was with the neighbours on the left. He always complained to me only that they had taken up some of our space with their new kitchen, which was built in the front square of their house. I found it hard to understand, as I was good friends with their kids. I guess I had not inherited the basic instinct of a farmer, who would fight for every inch of the land. Then, a terrible incident happened, which meant that I had to be sent to live with my mother again. One day, I was practice bladed gun fighting with one of my friends Zhaomin. We were using wooden guns, but had some sharp glass fixed on top of one end to pretend to be blades. We were making mocking moves and was not really fighting for real. But suddenly, in the middle of one of my thrusting moves, a young woman intervened and stood in the middle of us, as she was afraid that we might hurt each other. But that was a fatal moment she chose to intervene. I stabbed her in the upper leg by accident as I was caught in the middle of the thrusting move. She fell and blood gushed out and people came running and surrounded her. I just ran home. On the way, I heard people saying that her brother was coming to kill me. I was so scared. I ran home and told my Big Brother next door and he promised that he would not tell them that I was at home. I shut all the doors and wooden windows and hid in the corridor in between the houses. The brother came and banged on the door violently and made threats and cursed me. But my Big Brother just told him that I had not come home yet. When my grandparents learnt the bad news when they came home, they hurriedly arranged me to go to my mother. I learnt later that they had to pay a lot of money for that girl's family. It was a very tragic and costly accident, but I was home with my mother at last. Life did have its twists and turns, particularly as far as I was concerned. |
| 1976: This might be seen as one of the turning points in my life. |
