Pick Up Lines


Why is this page here???

I know your thinking,
"Joey, these are some of the smoothest lines ever thought of, why are you sharing these???"
And the answer is that I care about others, that's why!!!

NEW

Nik Zeidlhack
On your knees ya little WHORE

RJ Wilbur
Want me to beat anyone up for you???

Adam Severson
Shut up stuuupid
I'm a bad, bad beaver


Micah Humann
Hey baby, wanna do it with an ugly kid???

Matt Geiger
Hey, wanna come over and see my 11 athletic letters???

Jason Jackson
This shirt, pants, belt, socks, and boxers all came from Structure, let's have sex.
I've got moles ALL OVER my body

When hitting on Scott Berry
Hey Berry, wanna go grab me a handful of Oreos

Mr. Sahli
So, which one of the multiple intelligences are you???

Dan Schneider
Would you like to hear some army stories???

Jake LaCroix
No, that's not a new set of space age berrings for my rollerblades that I love more than life itself in my pocket, but I AM happy to see you

At the XEROX machine
Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?

New in town
Hi, I'm new to this area, and you're the prettiest sight I've seen so far, can you give me a tour of your body?

I'm new in town, could I get directions to your place?

When someone asks you what they think of their new dress
That dress looks nice. Of course, it would look even better crumpled up in the corner of my room.

In Math class
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply?

If you're a little cocky
Are you really as beautiful as you seem, or do you remind me of myself?

Sneaking it into the converstion
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? "No" Want to go somewhere and talk?

Do you sleep on your front? Mind if I do?

Got any Irish in you? "No" Want some?

Casual
Hey baby, mind if I take off my pants?

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

For blind people
Hi, are you cute?

For virgins
I can make you feel like I've never had sex before.

For drunkards
I'm drunk.

For the liars
Let's go back to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

For all idiots
Wanna get some pizza and screw? "No" Why, don't you like pizza?

In the halls
Would you carry my books for me?

If you're a crazy maniac
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.

Hitting on ugly chicks
You're not very attractive, but I bet you're great in bed.

I'm not trying to pick you up...you're too heavy.

For astronauts
Ever wonder what earth looks like from the back of a Chevy van?

Easter Bunny
Ever done it on a pile of artificial grass?

For Lifeguards
The Red Cross has certified me as a fully trained love machine

Coast Guard regulations Miss, I have to inspect you for sand mites

For Bikers
Excuse me, are you wearing 'Windsong' by Prince Matchabelli?

Construction Workers
I'm 36 years old and I still carry a lunch box -- doesn't that make you hot?

For Male Supermodels
Can I buy you a drink after I finish my 2,000 sit-ups?

You look hungry. I will microwave you a burrito.

Who do you like better, Beavis or Butthead?

I'm gay.

Wow! You are almost as beautiful as me!

For Matt Jensen
Excuse me, didn't I think you were my friend once???

For Andy Eisenhuth
WEST SIDE!!!

1