I'm fighting the flu so if I sound a bit incoherent it's because of the mixture of Comtrex, Actifed, Robitussen and beer. The only thing that's helping me feel better is the beer.

With champagne in hand, Peter greeted Gwen as she arrived home from the compound. He thought they would celebrate the fact that Heather would be out of their lives. But the champagne would have to be put on ice. Heather pulled out a last second victory by announcing that she was pregnant with Richard's child.

Heather told Chandler that Peter showed Gwen the tape. She thought she fixed things by saying it was Richard's baby. But Chandler was tired of the lies upon lies she's been telling. So he said he was leaving. Seems like to perfect time to rejoin the Navy.

The next morning over breakfast, Peter asked Heather a dumb question, "How do I know you're pregnant?" It's so easy to go to a doctor to verify it, but Heather was prepared. From seemingly out of nowhere (I didn't look like her nightgown had any pockets), she produced a doctor's note.

Jack entered, Peter exited. Jack said the family didn't want her going through the pregnancy alone. He said the family's entire resources were at her disposal. Heather was really appreciative and reached across the table and grabbed his hand. Jack looked at her either suspiciously or leeringly.

At Williams Aviation, Scott, the token black guy, tried to convince Chandler to stay. He showed him some plans for an animated-wing aircraft which Richard had started but never finished. Scott's ploy worked. Chandler was so interested in the design that he decided to stay. I guess when he was in the Navy, they not only taught him how to fly planes, but also how to build planes.

At a board meeting (they certainly have a lot of those), Jack announced that the Aviation Division's numbers were below industry average and they were destroying the morale throughout the entire company. Jack determined the remedy would be to schmooze the investment bankers. How this will help company morale I don't know.

But Peter volunteered to fly up to San Francisco to do the ass-kissing. And since Dress2K was also a concern of the investment bankers, Samantha would tag along. But since the Aviation Division was the root of all the problems, shouldn't Chandler also go?

David arrived home to find Jenny making redecoration plans. He kind of freaked. Is she also making plans for the wedding already? But he said it was okay and they decided they'd sleep on it then and there. But first he had to call the club to say he'd be late. When he turned his back, she reached into her purse and produced a bottle of pills and took one. So we learn not only is she an alcoholic, she's also a pill popper.

Pills are a better idea. People can't smell them on your breath.

Chandler finally got a chance to explain his story to Gwen. Gwen asked if there was a chance that the baby wasn't Richard's. Chandler said it was indeed Richard's. Goodness gracious, he lied to his mother! He'll burn in hell.

Anyway, a DNA test would be able to determine that the baby is not Richard's. If Richard was the natural father of Chandler, the test would be less conclusive. But since Chandler's adopted, there's no way that the test would show that it is Richard's baby.

The next morning, Jack asked Chandler to try to stay away from Heather. He said OK. I would think it would be easier to stay away from her if he moved off the compound.

Upstairs, Ethan was being coached by a French tutor so he could get into Bramley, the prep school that the entire family attended. But Ethan was more interested in peering through his telescope than with French lessons. The tutor gave up on him and wished him luck in a public school. Oh my God, he'll have to cavort with the Brandon Walshes, Steve Sanderses, Kelly Taylors and Donna Martins at West Beverly High!

Ethan went back to his telescope and saw his neighbor, a sweet young thing, playing tennis. It's about time. He's been there for weeks and he finally discovers a babe next door. I would have been able to sniff her out before I unpacked my bags.

Anyway, she looked as hot as Anna Kournikova, but she could use some help with her backhand. And her groundstroke wasn't all that great. I'm sure Ethan would volunteer to help her with all her strokes.

Up in San Francisco, Peter submitted his proposal and made a speech to the investment bankers. Tom, who seemed to be the boss, was impressed. He always thought Richard could not be replaced, but now thought he was wrong.

Samantha was also impressed. She agreed to a night on the town with him.

Jack played a round of golf with Bob. It seemed like Jack kicked his ass. Bob brought up the fact that Williams Global's second quarter numbers were poor. He then made an offer to buy William's Global.

Back in San Fran, Peter and Samantha returned to there hotel after their celebration. Samantha seemed primed for the taking, but Peter just kissed her hand and bid her goodnight. Which left Samantha wondering. He's been trying to get her since day one and he just sends her off? Why? I'll tell you why. He's a closeted gay fellow.

Jack was burning the midnight oil at Williams Global when Gwen walked in. Their conversation intimated that he had feelings for her and he still does. That she was the reason he took off to Europe. And she knew it. So he might as well hand his balls on a silver platter over to her now.

Heather had learned of Chandler's passion for Richard's vision. So she went to Jack to try to get him to finance the aircraft. All the while flirting with him. It looked like Jack had finally figured her out to be the manipulative bitch that she is.

Ethan was at his telescope again and spied on the girl in her bedroom. The girl, without a telescope, was able to catch him in the act.

At the very next of their frequent board meetings, Heather accused Samantha of stealing Dress2K from her. Peter said the change was based on merit. Chandler said to let it be. Peter accused Chandler of sticking up for his old flame. Chandler denied her being a flame. Peter begged to differ. He had a hot videotape. Chandler told Peter to get off his back.

That led to the line of the week. Peter said, "That's exactly what you should have said in Hawaii."

Chandler grabbed Peter and threw him onto the boardroom table. But before Chandler could give Peter the ass-whupping he so much deserved, Jack arrived to pry them apart.

Jack then informed them of the buyout offer, with stock options would be worth a billion dollars. So using soap opera conception of the business world (they would ignore the fact that there are stockholders), that would mean $250 million for each of them.

But Gwen moved that they turn down the offer. Everyone agreed.

Most surprising though was that Heather was the first one to agree. You'd figure she'd be the first person to take the money and run. After all, she had earlier accepted Peter's offer of just one million to take off.

Gwen welcomed Jenny back home. Jenny said David was moving too fast for her when it was the other way around. It was he who suggested she move out.

Just then, David phoned for Laurie. He had something important to discuss with her and Jenny should not be informed. So Laurie made an excuse to Jenny that she had to audition a new band.

Gwen knocked on Ethan's door to introduce him to his new French tutor. She said she found someone closer to his age and a star student at Bramley. Her name was Faith. And, by sheer soap opera coincidence, she was the girl in the telescope. Schwing! Ethan should thank Gwen for pimping for him.

Samantha finally believed Peter's act. She thought he had actually changed so she dragged him into her office and tickled his uvula with her tongue. They then set a date for dinner.

After Samantha left her office, Heather told her that Peter went looking for the incriminating tape. Earlier, he told Samantha that the tape was sent to him anonymously. How Heather knew he told her that, we'll never know.

But Heather also said that Peter was playing Samantha. That Peter didn't give her Dress2K on merit alone.

So at dinner, Samantha told Peter she was on to his game and left. Which is just as well since he's gay.

The reason David asked Laurie over was because he found Jenny's pills under his mattress. Jenny's so reliant on those pills that you'd think they would be the first things she'd pack.

David and Laurie then made a pact to try to help Jenny. As they hugged, Jenny walked in. She must have returned to retrieve her pills. She did not look too happy over David and Laurie's embrace. She could probably use a pill just about now.

Chandler arrived home and thanked Heather for talking to Jack about the animated-wing plane project. Heather said he was welcome and then proceeded to tell him she can't live without him. She needed him to raise their baby together. Hey, if they keep talking about their baby, someone's bound to overhear.

And Jack just might have. As Chandler and Heather kissed, Jack noisily opened the door to give them a chance to separate. Good thing Heather was wearing that non-smearing lipstick. Otherwise, Chandler's lips would also have been red.

So as Heather adjourned upstairs to her bedroom, Jack reminded Chandler of his promised to keep his distance from her. Again, it would be a lot easier if he moved off the compound.

That's it for this week.