CRITICAL CONDITION

By Marlena De Lacroix

TITANS: NO DALLAS OR DYNASTY

CAN NBC/AARON SPELLING'S new nighttime serial, Titans, revive the traditional prime-time soap? Based on the three episodes I've seen, Titans is not nearly in the league—or even the same century—as the '80s soaps we all loved: Dallas, Dynasty, Knot's Landing, et al.
     Those were shows of their time—the prosperous Reagan 1980s, when it was chic to be showy and super-rich and it was oh-so-fun to be campy and over-the-top. Think Krystle and Alexis' shoulder pads and the enormous Carrington mansion on Dynasty, or South Fork, the Ewing family ranch on Dallas.
     But that was then, and now, freshly into the '00s, no one wants to be showy or outrageous, or wear shoulder pads. Titans' Williams family is super-rich, but they live in tasteful, comparatively smallish Beverly Hills manses (located across the street from each other: one for patriarch Richard and his sons, Chandler and Peter, and one for divorced matriarch Gwen, daughters Jenny and Laurie and nephew Ethan). On Dallas, Victoria Principal played Pam Ewing in tight, sexy shirts and skirts. On Titans, she plays Gwen in simple blouses with sweaters looped sedately over her shoulders. Tasteful dwellings, tame costumes—darlings, Marlena asks vous: What kind of fun is that?
     The camp factor was what drew millions of non-soap watchers (especially young, urban men) to the '80s prime-time soaps. (Marlena fondly remembers attending all those Dynasty dinner parties!) Without camp, Titans is about as flavorful as cold leftovers. Oh, yes, there is one character who has a minor element of camp—young Heather Lane Williams (Yasmine Bleeth), a real serpent of sin. (Aren't they all, darlings?) Heather, who has the body of Salome, absurdly strutted down the aisle exactly like Mae West when Heather wed a bewitched Richard. In the series' only original moment so far, she whispered to her escort, Chandler (Richard's son!), that she was pregnant with Chandler's child.
     Periodically over the first three episodes, Heather has shown up in a truly heart-stopping outfit, like the gold bikini in which she successfully seduced Chandler. Bleeth is absolutely stunning to look at, and I've followed her work since her days as teen-age Ryan on Ryan's Hope, but I just don't think her acting (or camping) is great enough to make it as the vixen/linchpin of a prime-time soap. As a camp-loving friend remarked of Bleeth, "She's no Heather Locklear" (of Melrose Place's Amanda and Dynasty's Sammy Jo fame).
     And another thing: We soap opera watchers (and all television watchers) have changed drastically in the last 20 years. Since we all have much shorter attention spans now (wrought by MTV and the increased number of cable networks to choose from on our trigger-happy TV remotes), we no longer have patience for long soap scenes. So the '80s-length scenes in Titans seem boring. Most daytime serials, like the ABC shows and Guiding Light, have spent years adapting the slow pace of a soap opera to the attention span of today's viewer. Until I watched (yawn!) Titans, I did not realize how spoiled I am.
     My indifference to Titans reminds me of another Aaron Spelling show, Sunset Beach. When it premiered in January 1997, I wrote that the new show had little going for it outside of a standard soap formula. To me, what makes a great soap is having the soap formula down plus something extra, whether it is smart, funny writing (i.e., Agnes Nixon's All My Children), or a heavy dose of humanity (like Doug Marland's As the World Turns), or a heaping helping of camp, like Passions or Dallas or Dynasty. Titans, so far, has very little going on beyond the standard soap format.
     That is unfortunate, because Spelling has actually hired quite a decent cast for the show. Perry King is forceful and charismatic as Richard (who, in a big mistake, was given the boot). I'm getting a kick out of Principal playing Gwen as the nicest, sweetest female character since Melanie Wilkes in Gone With the Wind. Jack Wagner, who, as Uncle Jack, will take over Williams family leadership after his brother, Richard, dies, was quite intriguing and mysterious in the second episode. I've already raved about John Barrowman as villain Peter, who has been given all the good, snooty, throwaway lines. Williams sisters Laurie and Jenny haven't been given much story yet, but I like the actresses who play them, Josie Davis (ex-Grace Turner, The Young and the Restless) and Elizabeth Bogush, respectively. Lourdes Benedicto is appealing as Samantha. And Ingo—our own adorable-as-ever Rademacher (ex-Jasper "Jax" Jacks, General Hospital)—has been just fine as nightclub owner/surfer David. Kevin Zegers (Ethan Benchley) is cute in a Teen Beat way.
     The only real weak link in the cast is Casper Van Dien (ex-Ty Moody, One Life to Live) as prodigal son Chandler. Van Dien's face is so perfectly chiseled it could be made of granite, but the look is out of sync with his high, weak voice. He's hardly believable as the heir to a mighty dynasty.
     But will the Williams dynasty and Titans last the season? I hope so, because the survival of the nighttime serial form is essential to the health of the whole soap opera genre.

Marlena De Lacroix assumes full responsibility for her opinions, which are not necessarily those of SOAP OPERA WEEKLY. You can e-mail her at marlena.interport@rcn.com.