(Replay of diver getting out of taxi)

-A deep sea diver attempting to pay a visit to Commissioner Gordon.

(Replay of Shark gunning down diver)

-But that feathered fiend, the Penguin, had other ideas!

(Replay of Gordon tending to wounded diver)

-A strange clue . . . "Rutland Five!"

(Replay of Bruce and Dick headed for Batpoles)

-Batman and Robin needed to figure this out.

(Replay of Batgirl conferring with Batman and Robin)

-Batgirl aids the effort!

(Replay of Batman and Robin looking over the scale model)

-It comes together . . . the Rutland Five Star Health Club!

(Replay of Jackie Lalanne meeting Batman and Robin)

-The owner is a great symbol for keeping fit!

(Replay of Jackie phoning Penguin)

-But she’s also a great symbol for female treachery!

(Replay of fight in the pool)

-The Dynamic Duo fight their way out of the deep end!

(Replay of Jackie knocking Batman back in)

-But Jackie sent them back in it!

(Close-up of Batman and Robin trapped in steam room)

-It’s getting hottter and hotter for Batman and Robin . . . but wait!

-The worst is yet to come!

(Spinning scene signals start of opening credits)

(Opening Credits Animated Seqeunce)

(Haunting music opens as we see Batman and Robin still trapped in steam room)

(Close-up of Batman)

Robin (sweating heavily now, hair matted)
-Batman! Any luck getting loose?

Batman (also sweating heavily)
-Not . . . yet! But . . . must keep trying!

Robin
-What now, Batman? Do we have the police come in and raid the place?

Batman
-Not a wise course of action, Robin. We still haven’t uncovered what Penguin’s game is, and why he had the diver shot. No doubt, by the time we could get the police down here, all relevant evidence would have disappeared.

Robin
-Then . . . what do we do?

Batman
-First, we slip out of here; make our way back to Police Headquarters; and have the Commissioner summon Batgirl. This requires a team effort!

(Cut to upstairs view of health club’s main room. Jackie is once again leading an aerobics group)

Jackie
-Full sit-ups, three a minute, and work your way up to five as you get more comfortable! Remember to keep those knees bent . . . and—

(She breaks off as she sees Batman and Robin emerge from the stairway and quietly slip out the front. She grimaces slightly and gets to her feet)

—And right now, I’d like to ask my able assistant, Ms. Jones, to take over the rest of the class.

(She heads back to her office and picks up the special phone to the hideout)

(Cut to the Penguin-shaped phone letting out its quack. Penguin, teeth clamped on holder without a cigarette, answers)

Penguin
-Yes?

Jackie
-Pengy, we’ve got trouble! Those dynamic dimwits escaped from the steam room!

Penguin (displeased)
-Pfaw! You should have let me mow them down in the pool with my umbrella machine-gun! Then, there would have been no question of their demise!

Jackie
-Pengy, I’m sorry, I-

Penguin (disdainfully sticks a cigarette back in his holder, as he has no desire to follow her orders now)
-Never mind. My men will retreat to the safety of your penthouse apartment. That way, should Batman return with the police, there will be no evidence for them to discover.

Jackie
-Be careful, Pengy!

(Penguin has no endearing goodbye this time, as he hangs up and waves his umbrella at Octopus and Shark)

Penguin
-All right, finks! Let’s clear out!

(Spinning Bat symbol to indicate scene change)

Narrator
-Meanwhile, back in Commissioner Gordon’s office!

Chief O’Hara
-That was a narrow escape for you both, Caped Crusaders!

Batman
-Indeed, Chief O’Hara! At least now we know who’s behind the shooting of the deep sea diver outside the Commissioner’s home. We still, however, haven’t discovered his end game, which would probably explain why the diver was shot.

Robin
-The diver certainly wasn’t going to use the pool at the health club!

Commissioner Gordon
-Well, Batgirl, I understand you just came from Gotham General Hospital, to follow-up on the wounded man. Did you learn anything?

Batgirl
-Yes, Commissioner, but not much. The diver came out of his coma for a few minutes. When I asked him if he could say anything more, all he said was something that sounded like “Biggem.” Then he slipped back into his coma.

Chief O’Hara
-"Biggem?" What the devil could that mean?

Batman (trying to ponder)
-Biggem . . . big em . . . big im . . . perhaps he was mumbling in his incoherent state, two words, not one. (Sighs in exasperation). We’ll have to leave that for now, and concentrate instead on what Penguin said.

Robin
-He said, his plans would bring the economy of the nation to a standstill!

Commissioner Gordon
-Well, that could mean just about anything!

Chief O’Hara (excited)
-Say! Maybe he has a plan to make gas prices go even higher!

Batman (skeptical)
-While such an event would certainly be detrimental to the American economy, achieving that result is likely beyond even Penguin's formidable abilities. In addition, he would have had to make a huge investment to profit from such an eventuality.

Commissioner Gordon
-A bank robbery? A jewel heist?

Batgirl
-Neither would hardly be sufficient to wreck the economy of the nation, Commissioner . . . (Her expression grows thoughtful) but . . . perhaps, something like counterfeiting could!

(Batman’s head perks up)

Batman
-Counterfeiting . . . Big im . . . Of course! That must be it!

Chief O’Hara
-What’s it, Batman?

Batman
-Commissioner, Chief O’Hara. Think back six months, when one of the leading figures of the criminal underworld was captured and sent to prison. The head of Gotham City’s biggest counterfeiting ring . . . .

(Robin suddenly realizes, and slaps his right fist into his left glove)

Robin
-Holy Ringleader! Big Jim! That must be it!

Batman
-Yes, now it all falls into place. Big Jim was captured, but a fortune in unused paper to print money, stolen from the government, was never recovered . . . paper essential to any top-flight counterfeiting ring!

Batgirl (nods)
-Penguin must have found out through the grapevine where Big Jim had the paper hidden. That’s why he must have needed the diver, to try and recover it!

Robin
-Only the diver got scared and decided to warn the Commissioner instead!

Commissioner Gordon
-It all makes sense . . . but the only remaining question would be, just where is Big Jim’s stash hidden? You’ve already ruled out the Health Club itself. It follows that’s what the diver was referring to with his “Rutland Five” clue.

Batgirl
-That does seem to leave us stopped cold, Commissioner. It could be he was only answering your question in regard to where the ring was based, and not the location of the dive itself.

Batman
-Which, if correct, would mean the diving location could be just about any site in the broader environs of Gotham City. Gotham Park Lake, the West River, and even the Atlantic Ocean itself could be legitimate targets in that context.

Chief O’Hara
-What options does that leave us, then?

Batman
-Practically none at this point, Chief! Moving in on Penguin and the Health Club would be fruitless, without the location of the missing government paper.

Batgirl
-But Penguin’s plans seem to be stopped dead for now, since he doesn’t have anyone to make the dive for him.

Batman (raises a finger)
-That . . . may be the key to unlocking this mystery! Chief O’Hara, is there anyone in the department with qualifications in deep sea diving?

Chief O’Hara
-I don’t know of any offhand, Batman, but I can certainly check. There’s bound to be at least one!

Batman
-Excellent! Robin and I will return to the Batcave and stand by for further information. Batgirl, I suggest you do the same from your lodgings. Before this day is out, I hope we’ll be at the bottom of the mystery as to where Big Jim’s paper is hidden!

(Commercial)

Act Two

(Establishing shot of Batman and Robin pacing in the Batcave)

Robin
-It’s been over two hours since Chief O’Hara sent Officer Gimbel undercover, to make himself available as a diver to any crook looking for one.

Batman
-Have patience, old chum. Sometimes it takes a good operative time to establish himself, and even longer to get back word of what he’s discovered.

(The Batphone beeps. He answers it)

-Yes, Commissioner?

Commissioner Gordon
-Batman, I’m afraid our effort to infiltrate Penguin’s circle with a diver has come to naught. Officer Gimbel made himself widely available throughout the numerous criminal haunts, but when he made contact with one of Penguin’s operatives, he found himself beaten up and left in an alley.

Batman (sighs in disgust)
-Penguin obviously suspected we’d try such an approach once he learned of our escape from his steam room trap! How is Officer Gimbel?

Commissioner Gordon
-Oh, he’ll recover, but . . . I’m afraid there’s no use of trying again with another operative.

Batman
-We’ll get back to you, Commissioner. (Hangs up and pounds fist on table). I should have known Penguin would have suspected this kind of trap. Because of my miscalculation, a police officer is injured.

Robin
-Batman, you can’t blame yourself. We needed to try.

Batman
-. . . but only because of our inability to figure out from the clues where the diver was going to operate!

Robin
-Batman, we decided the diver didn’t leave a clue about that. If he knows where Big Jim’s stash is hidden, then we’ll just have to wait until he comes out of his coma.

Batman
-We can’t wait that long, Robin. Penguin, I’m sure, will come up with an alternate plan of attack, perhaps hiring a diver from outside Gotham City. He’ll be able to act much sooner than we can, waiting for the wounded man to regain consciousness. (Slaps fist into glove). We must think of something we’ve overlooked! The scale model of Gotham City helped us once. Let’s consult it again.

(Spinning Bat symbol to indicate scene change)

Narrator
-Meanwhile, in her secret identity of Barbara Gordon, librarian, Batgirl is doing her own investigating!

(Barbara is going through the newspaper clippings related to Jackie Lalanne and the Rutland Five Star Health Club. Her attention then centers on a picture showing the entire ten story structure.)

Barbara
-The simplest answer always seems to elude us at first! (She rises and goes her office, closes the door and punches one number and the # key)

(Cut to Commissioner Gordon, alone in office)

Commissioner Gordon
-Yes?

Barbara
-Daddy . . . would you please patch me through to the Batcave?

Commissioner Gordon
-Oh, yes. Yes, of course, I’ll . . . do that right away.

(Stabs at some buttons on his desk phone)

(Cut back to Batman and Robin staring at the scale model map)

Robin
-Maybe it was the sewer system around the Rutland Five Star gym after all!

Batman
-Too cumbersome, and not the kind of place where deep sea diving equipment would be needed. (Eyes narrow). Great Scott! I am a fool for not having realized it before! All the time, we were thinking in terms of a diver going beneath the surface, when we should have been looking above the surface!

Robin
-Above the surface?

(Batman points at the model of the Health Club)

-Of course, you’re right!

(The Batphone beeps. Batman dashes over and answers)

Batman
-Yes, Commissioner?

Commissioner Gordon
-I have Batgirl on the extension, Batman.

Batman
-One moment, while we tie in the speakerphone. (Batman hits the switch) Batgirl, I’m glad you called!

Batgirl
-From your tone, I suspect we may have just come to the same conclusion about the diver’s target - the water tower on top of the health club!

Batman
-Exactly, Batgirl! The health club needs the water tower to keep the pool filled. The reason the pool was kept drained, was to safeguard the contents of what lies at the bottom within the tower - something only a man in a diving suit could access!

Robin (who had been pondering the revelation)
-But if Big Jim’s stash is in some kind of chest or crate at the bottom of the water tower, then why didn’t Penguin just have the tower drained? He’d have easy access to it that way.

Batgirl
-Hmm, that is a good question, Robin.

Batman
-Unless . . . maybe it isn’t the paper itself at the bottom of the tank, but rather, a . . . clue of some kind to the real hiding place. Perhaps Penguin couldn't risk the clue going down the drain with the water!

Robin
-That makes sense!

Batman
-Batgirl, meet us in front of the Club as soon as possible. It’s time we go for a little swim of our own!

(Spinning Bat symbol to indicate scene change)

Narrator
-Meanwhile, one mile from the club in the penthouse apartment of Jackie Lalanne . . .

(Penguin is sitting in a plush chair, looking restless, fidgeting with his umbrella)

Penguin
-Pfaw! It took me months while in prison to get Big Jim to reveal the secret of where his paper stash is hidden, and since I’ve been out, one setback after another in getting access to it! I’ve thrown myself at the feet of that fitness freak; been forced to deal with a double-crossing diver; and now I have to face the subterfuge games of Batman and the police! When, I ask, when shall my patience be rewarded?

Shark (still wearing regular suit)
-I wish I knew, boss.

(Penguin hits him on the head with his umbrella)

Penguin
-You honestly think I expected an answer from you, you halfwitted henchman? I employ you and Octopus for one reason only, and it isn’t because of what resides in your craniums!

(He idly picks up a pair of binoculars lying on the table)

-Ah well, perhaps I can idle away the time by taking in the sights.

(He trains his binoculars on the distant water tower atop the health club building)

(Spinning Bat symbol to indicate scene change)

(The Batmobile pulls up across the street from the health club, followed right behind by the Batgirlcycle)

Batman
-We’ll need to use the Batarangs to get to the roof. I doubt very much Ms. Lalanne will grant us access via the stairs.

Robin
-Batman, that reminds me, do we even know for certain she’s involved with Penguin’s scheme? I didn’t see her during the fight.

Batman
-I didn't see her face, either, Robin, but . . . I felt a rather powerful grip before I was tossed into the pool, and got a good glimpse of her muscular, but shapely, feminine arms. That was enough to confirm her deep involvement in this criminal endeavor.

Robin
-Gosh, what a shame. All that talent and beauty, gone to waste.

Batgirl
-That hardly makes her unique, Robin, as we all know.

Robin
-I know. Still . . . (he shrugs, and lets the rest of his thought go unsaid as Batman hurls the Batarang, where it catches on the roof)

(The three of them are now seen climbing the side of the building to traditional Batclimb music)

Batgirl
-Are you prepared to do some serious diving, Batman?

Batman
-Yes, Batgirl! Robin and I have special contact inserts in our masks, which will allow us to see clearly underwater. We also have special Bat- Aqualungs, which will enable us to breathe freely for up to ten minutes.

Batgirl
-What about the pressure? It’s a hundred feet to the bottom.

Batman
-I suspect we won’t have to dive to the bottom, if our hunch about only a clue, and not the paper itself, being there is correct.

(They reach the roof. Above them looms the water tower, which can be accessed only by ladder)

Batman
-Batgirl, we’ll need you to stand watch while Robin and I investigate. (Hands her a tiny, hand-held device) If you spot any potential trouble, press this and it will activate an alarm in our utility belts. We’ll abandon our search immediately.

Batgirl (takes the device)
-I’ll keep an eye peeled, Batman.

Batman
-Let’s proceed, Robin. Make sure your Bat-Aqualung is secure.

Robin
-All set!

(Batman and Robin climb up the side of the ladder to the top of the water tower.)

Narrator
-Meanwhile . . .

(Cut back to Penguin in penthouse, looking through the binoculars. He suddenly comes upright and tightens his focus on the tower and splutters out with rage over what he now sees)

(Penguin drops the binoculars and hurriedly picks up the phone)

(Cut to Jackie, stretching herself, as she leans back in her office chair. Her extended hand is touching her toes as she hears the phone ring. She grabs it)

Jackie
-Hello?

Penguin
-Do something! Batman and Robin are searching the tank! and Batgirl’s standing watch at the base of the water tower!

Jackie (bolts upright to a standing position)
-I’ll get on it right away, Pengy. They won’t get away this time!

(She abruptly hangs up and calls out to her assistant)

-Kathy!

(Cut back to Penguin, angrily holding the phone)

Penguin
-Until further notice, my dear, you have lost the right to call me “Pengy.” (Hangs up the phone) Octopus! Shark! We haven’t a moment to lose!

(Commercial)

Act Three

(Cut back to base of water tower, where Batgirl continues to stand watch, idly pacing back and forth. From a side door, we suddenly see Jackie emerge, dressed in a leopard-print swimsuit, ready to do battle)

(Jackie stealthily makes her way up behind Batgirl and grabs our heroine from behind, employing the same crushing embrace she utilized on Batman to immobilize him.

Batgirl feels the wind being choked out of her and gags as she shakes violently, struggling to free herself.

We see the transmitter Batman had given her fall out of her hand, unactivated, to the ground.)

(Batgirl finally manages to shake herself free of Jackie’s grasp and spins around so she faces her opponent. Jackie quickly goes into a defensive position, as does Batgirl, as they circle about, waiting for the other to make the first move)

Batgirl (still circling)
-You’re very good, Ms. Lalanne, but I’ll give you fair warning. I regularly watch your program on Gotham cablevision, so I know what kind of moves you’ll make.

Jackie (smirks)
-A fan, eh? Well, I’ve never revealed all my trade secrets on that program, Batgirl, as you’ll soon find out!

(They both finally move simultaneously toward one other. The fight music from the Batman movie breaks out as they grab each other by the arms and grapple, feet still planted firmly on the ground.

Batgirl manages to toss Jackie back, but Jackie regains her footing and promptly charges full bore at Batgirl, driving her shoulder into the heroine’s mid-section, which sends Batgirl staggering against the base of the water tower.

Jackie charges Batgirl and is about to punch the Dominoed Daredoll in the face, but Batgirl grabs the fitness guru's extended arm and manages to flip Jackie completely, causing her to land on her back.

Jackie, however, is back on her feet almost immediately and the two resume grappling in their evenly-matched fight)

(Below we see a car pull up in front of the health club, and Penguin gets out, followed by Shark and Octopus. Penguin looks up to the roof, shielding his eyes)

Penguin
-To the roof, finks! Immediately!

(They dash inside the building)

(Cut back to inside the water tower as Batman and Robin break the surface. Robin is holding the goldfish)

Batman (trying to stay calm)
-Maybe not, Robin! If we could get Batgirl’s attention, she might be able to grab a Batarang and secure it to the ladder on the outside of the tower, but . . . our transmitter was only designed for her to signal us, not for us to signal her!

Robin
-Holy News Blackout! How do we get word to her?

(Cut back to the front of the tower, where Batgirl and Jackie continue to do battle. The movie fight music continues)

Narrator
-But even if Batgirl knew of the Dynamic Duo’s predicament, at the moment she has her hands full!

(Jackie has her hands around Batgirl’s throat and tries to apply a stranglehold that will send the Dark Knight Damsel into unconsciousness.

Batgirl manages to pound her fists hard into Jackie’s midsection. The blow forces the fitness buff to let go)

(The door opens and Penguin emerges, followed by Octopus and Shark. He watches the ongoing fight between the two Amazonians with admiration)

Penguin
-What a spectacular exhibition! But it’s time to tip the balance in favor of the winner!

(He adjusts his umbrella and points it at Batgirl, who is back against the base of the tower, breathing heavily. A cloud of purple knockout gas emerges from the weapon and the heroine can't avoid taking in a lungful. She drops to the ground, unconscious.

A spent Jackie hunches over, hands on her thighs, taking a few breaths to collect herself from the most exhausting struggle of her life)

Jackie
-Thanks, Penguin. She’s really good. I don’t think I could have lasted much longer.

Penguin (not in the mood to be flattered by her)
-Lucky for Batgirl you made me replace the machine gun in this umbrella with knockout gas! What about Batman and Robin?

Jackie (rises to full, erect position)

-I ordered Kathy to drain the tower to one-third full. That makes it too low for them to climb out, but not low enough for them to touch bottom.

(She smiles wickedly)

-Eventually, they have to tire out and drown.

Penguin (Pleased)
-Well done, my fair beauty, well done! You have redeemed yourself, admirably!

Jackie
-Thanks, Penguin.

Penguin (adoringly)
-"Pengy," my love, "Pengy."

(Jackie giggles and puts her arms around him, giving him another kiss on the cheek)

(Cut back to inside the tower, where Batman and Robin are visibly tiring, as they tread water)

Robin (dejected)
-Great. What do we do now?

Batman (looking up)
-We have only one chance. If I throw my Batarang, then at least Batgirl will notice and realize something’s amiss. Once she sees our predicament, she’ll secure the Batarang to the ladder and we can climb out.

Robin
-It’s worth a try!

(Cut to outside the water tower. Penguin, Jackie, Octopus and Shark see the Batarang fall over the top of the tower)

Penguin (pointing)
-Hurry! Grab it, before it falls back!

(Shark races up the ladder and manages to grab hold of the Batarang before its momentum carries it back over the top. He manages to secure it to the ladder)

(Cut back to inside the tower)

Robin
-Batman! The Batarang snagged on something! or maybe Batgirl saw it, and got it hooked up for us!

Batman
-That must be it! You go first, Robin . . . and hold on to that fish at all costs!

(Robin grabs the rope and, with a great deal of tired effort, begins to climb up the wall of the tank)

Jackie
-Speaking of Bat Boobs, shouldn't we take care of Batgirl while we have the chance?

Shark (enthusiastically)
-Yeah! We could dump her in the tank, too!

Octopus (brightening)
-Or throw her off the roof!

Penguin (considers for a moment)
-A tempting prospect, but I'm eager to get to the freight yard. Besides, finding Batman and Robin's bodies floating in the tank will be far worse for Batgirl than anything we could do to her! Waah, waah, waah!

Jackie (giggles and holds onto his arm as they reach the door)
-Oooh, Pengy, I love the way you think!

(They disappear inside the building, followed by the henchmen)

(Minutes pass . . . .

Then . . .

. . . displaying her fantastic recuperative power, Batgirl slowly awakens! She hurriedly climbs to the top of the tower)

Batgirl (looks down)
-Batman! Robin! Are you okay?

Batman
-Batgirl! Our strength . . . is failing. We . . . can’t hold out . . . much longer.

Batgirl
-What about your Batarangs?

Robin
-Batman's fell to the bottom of the tank . . . when Penguin’s goon knocked me back down. Neither one of us . . . has the strength . . . to throw mine.

Batgirl (detaches her own Batarang)
-I still have mine, Batman! I’ll secure it to the ladder and then you should be able to climb out!

Batman
-Thanks, Batgirl! We’ll . . . try to hold out until you’re ready.

(Batgirl secures her Batarang to the ladder, and then lets the rope drop down inside the tank. Robin grabs the rope first, and wearily starts to climb out. A series of alternating shots of Batgirl, looking down with concern, and Robin and Batman climbing up, their boots occasionally slipping against the wet walls of the tank interior, follows)

(Finally, Robin reaches the top. Batgirl helps him over and they begin to descend the ladder. Batman follows a moment later)

(Spinning Bat symbol to indicate passage of time)

(Batman, Robin and Batgirl are on the roof again. The Dynamic Duo have slowly regained their strength)

Batman
-I did manage to hear Penguin say they were headed for "the freight yard." He must have meant the Gotham freight yard, located on the west side. Big Jim’s stash of stolen government paper must be in rail car 76392!

Batgirl
-We’ve got to get there immediately and notify Commissioner Gordon to have as many officers there as he can spare!

Robin (slaps fist into glove)
-Let’s get them! I’m getting my second wind!

(They move off toward the roof exit)

(Spinning Bat symbol to indicate scene change)

(Establishing shot of Gotham Railyard)

Narrator
-And at that moment, in the freight car section of the Gotham Railyard, Penguin and his mob have located rail car 76392!

(Rail car interior. Penguin has pried open a crate revealing numerous bales of the valuable paper. Jackie has her hands on his shoulder, looking down excitedly)

Penguin
-Criminal treachery triumphs over honesty all the time! Waah, waah. Now load all of these into the car, where we’ll start processing them in our new hideout!

(Octopus and Shark each pick up two bales of the paper and exit the rail car. Jackie once again kisses Penguin on the cheek and playfully tickles his ear)

Jackie
-Pengy, I’m so glad you turned me on to crime. I’ve never had more fun in my whole life!

Penguin (finding himself enjoying her company again)
-Waah, waah. My dear Jackie, with Batman and Robin out of the way-

Jackie
-and Batgirl, a harmless, demoralized, non-threat-

Penguin
-the fun is just beginning! Waah, waah, waah!

(Suddenly, Batman and Robin burst into the rail car interior!)

Batman
-Correction, Penguin! Your fun has just ended!

(Penguin looks at them in shock. His cigarette holder falls out of his mouth. Jackie is equally thunderstruck)

Penguin
-It’s not fair! It’s not fair you keep coming back to ruin my best-laid plans! But no matter!

(He points his umbrella at them, and the knockout gas emits in their faces. Batman and Robin avoid breathing in much of the gas, but they still cough violently as Penguin and Jackie hurry past them and out of the rail car)

(Penguin rushes over to Octopus and Shark, who had been knocked out. The bales of paper are at their feet, by the open trunk of the car. Penguin hurriedly shoves two bales in the trunk, closes it and races to the driver side of the car. As he gets in, Jackie is making her way to the passenger side, when she suddenly feels a jerk on her arm)

Batgirl
-It’s time for a re-match!

(Jackie looks into Batgirl’s determined face, and has no time to react before Batgirl slugs her across the chin, sending the fitness queen staggering to the ground)

(Batman and Robin emerge from the freight car, just as Penguin guns the engine. The car roars off)

Batgirl
-I took care of Jackie, but Penguin’s getting away!

Batman (glances back at the boxcar)
-There might be a way to stop him before he leaves the rail yard! Robin, let’s hurry!

(Penguin slowly emerges from the wrecked car and staggers slightly, muttering “Waah, waah” twice before collapsing to the ground, underscored by a whimsical musical rendition of the "Penguin" theme)

(Batman and Robin drop to the ground just as a police car pulls up alongside them. Commissioner Gordon and Chief O’Hara emerge)

Batman
-Commissioner, you’ve arrived just in time to round up Penguin and his gang! Their would-be dream of ruining the economy with counterfeit money is finished.

Commissioner Gordon
-Well done, Batman! A squad car’s already taken Octopus and Shark . . . and Batgirl, (he motions to the backseat), presented us with Ms. Lalanne.

(Batman makes his way to the backseat window and looks in. Jackie is pouting visibly, as she stares straight ahead)

Batman
-You disappoint me greatly, Ms. Lalanne. A great role model for the youth of America on the importance of good exercise and diet should never let herself be tempted by selfish greed.

(Jackie turns and looks at him with an expression of pure contempt)

Jackie
-Blow it out your cowl!

(Batman backs away as O’Hara shoves Penguin into the backseat alongside Jackie. Gordon comes alongside Batman)

Commissioner Gordon
-Incidentally, Batman, we received some good news from Gotham Hospital. The diver’s come out of his coma, and is now expected to recover completely!

Batman
-Good news indeed, Commissioner! . . . and even better news for Penguin to know he won’t be facing a murder charge when he goes to trial!

(Gordon nods and gets back in the front seat. O’Hara starts the car and it drives off. Robin comes up to Batman)

Robin
-Well, looks like the end of another successful case!

Batman
-Yes. I wonder where Batgirl . . . (looks back toward the main rail yard)

Robin
-I guess she’s disappeared on us once again!

Batman
-Indeed. Until . . . next time that is.

(They move off back toward the Batmobile as triumphant closing act music finishes scene)

(Commercial)

Epilogue

(Establishing shot of Wayne Manor)

(Wayne living room. Bruce and Dick are relaxing, each of them reading. Aunt Harriet enters excitedly)

Aunt Harriet
-Oh Bruce! Dick!

Bruce
-Yes, Aunt Harriet?

Aunt Harriet
-I just received two extra tickets for the moonlight sail on Gotham Park Lake the Police League is giving tonight. I thought you two might want to join me!

(Bruce and Dick both get uncomfortable expressions)

Bruce
-Ah . . . no thanks, Aunt Harriet. Dick and I have seen enough water for one day, haven’t we?

Dick
-Yes. Bruce and I spent much of the afternoon at . . . the Sportsman's Club pool, brushing up on the backstroke, and . . . well, after all that underwater working out, we really wouldn’t be good company tonight.

Bruce
-I do think Alfred could use the night off. I suggest giving one of the tickets to him.

Aunt Harriet
-I guess so . . . and maybe he’ll be able to find an escort.

(She leaves the living room)

Dick
-Boy, it's a shame Jackie had to turn out to be bad. She’s the kind of woman with whom I wouldn’t have minded going on a moonlight sail! Beautiful, strong-

Bruce (impishly)
-She's a bit old for you, Dick . . . but Batgirl meets those same standards.

Dick
-Gosh, Bruce, yes! but . . . I’ve never thought it proper to think of Batgirl that way - not when we have such a close . . . working relationship.

Bruce
-Sound thinking, old chum, sound thinking.

(His expression grows thoughtful)

-Whoever she is behind that mask, let’s both hope she finds herself lucky in love . . . someday.

Dick
-Do you ever wonder if she has the same hopes for us?

Bruce
-I’m sure she does, Dick . . . and, maybe someday, our best wishes for each other will prove not to have been in vain.

(Dick smiles as they resume their reading. Closing music goes up)

Executive Producer - If this story seemed familiar, but you're sure you've never read this comic book, you might have seen "Perry White's Scoop" on the Superman TV series. Part of the second season of The Adventures of Superman, the episode originally aired January 23, 1954. Roy Hamilton received credit for the screenplay.

"The Deep Sea Diver Mystery" appeared in Batman # 83, with a cover date of April 1954. The two stories are remarkably similar. The deathtrap wasn't much on TV, as reporter Clark Kent merely had to wait until Perry White passed out to break out of his steam cabinet and rescue his editor!

With the lag time between production and release of both television episodes and comic book stories, it is unclear which came "first." If anyone knows, please send to me an e-mail at twof@hotmail.com

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