Enables Villainy to Thrive

Considering her perilous position, Batgirl realized the hooks Penguin was using to hold her down were one of the most unusual means of restraint her enemies had ever employed against her. The mist filling the tent had already drenched her and dampened the surface of the sponge to which her body had been fastened. She could do little more than squirm.

‘I’ll have to think my way out of this trap,’ Batgirl decided. ‘Criminals always overlook something. Once I discover the weakness, I should be able to exploit it and escape . . . I hope!’

The Curved Crusader’s analysis of the trap determined it consisted of five parts: the sponge, which supported her; the hooks, which held her firmly in place; the mist machine, which introduced moisture into the sponge; the tent, which contained the misty cloud emanating from the machine; and the poisonous spines beneath the slowly-softening sponge, which would eventually impale her.

She judged both the tent and the mist machine to be too far away to attack. The distance any attack would require magnified the difficulty, particularly since Legs Parker had deprived her of her utility belt.

The spines were also difficult to attack, since to do so she would need to get close to them, which was precisely what Penguin intended. Attacking the sponge, while vastly simpler, would unavoidably move her closer to the deadly spines as well.

The hooks were, Batgirl decided, the logical element of the trap to attack. None of them would individually have held her in place for long. Together, however, they had so far prevented her from doing anything except wriggle a little bit.

Nevertheless, the hooks were anchored in the dampening, softening sponge and Batgirl’s range of movement, while limited, might soon enable her to shift some of them slightly. Of course, it would take time for Batgirl to move the number of hooks her escape would require to be successful. Therefore, the longer she waited to initiate her plan, the more likely the trap would be to kill her.

Suddenly, as Batgirl shifted her weight again, she felt her body sink slightly deeper into the sponge. Undoubtedly, the deadly spines below the poriferan had simultaneously impaled it.

Batgirl was elated at the expansion of her range of movement. She, however, concentrated on remaining utterly still, because the additional wiggle room posed additional dangers.

The Parker siblings had evenly distributed her weight over the sponge. Any shift of position could redistribute that weight, risking a sudden descent into the sponge, where the poisonous spines awaited an indeterminate distance below!

‘Of course,’ Batgirl thought, ‘doing nothing is even more dangerous, since all my weight could drop onto the spines at any moment. I’ve got to escape and I don’t have a moment to lose!’

Experimentally, Batgirl grabbed hold of the two hooks closest to her gloved hands and grinned as she shifted them. ‘Can I pull these out completely?’ she wondered.

Taking a fresh grip, Batgirl began to draw the hooks gently upward. Once she had pulled them as far as her range of movement would allow, she moved her hands down, took a fresh grip, and lifted them higher. After repeating the procedure a second time, two of the hooks holding her had nearly been removed. Lifting again, the hooks resisted rising.

‘What is happening?’ Batgirl worriedly wondered. Then, she realized the truth. ‘Of course . . . the hooks . . . are barbed. So . . . to free myself . . . I’ll just have to pull . . . harder!’

Her gloved fingers wrapped around the hooks and pulled up sharply. “Yes!” Batgirl enthused, as the restraints clattered to the floor. She quickly drew her arms closer to her torso and started extracting the next set of hooks.

Soon, she was compelled to straighten her arms and raise them to free her forearms. As she worked to free her elbows and upper arms, she thought ahead. ‘Once only my shoulders are hooked down, I should be able to sit up and pull away the hooks from my legs . . . but, if I do, more than half my weight will be pressing down on a single spot. I’ll probably find myself sitting on the poisonous spines—or in a worse, even less comfortable position!’ Batgirl shuddered. ‘I’ll have to think of another approach!’

Batgirl frowned as she looked through the cleft between her breasts and across her abs, focusing on where more hooks held her spread legs down. She shifted her hips and lifted each leg experimentally, setting it down again to prompt a tiny splash.

“No!” Batgirl said, the word escaping with a breath she had not realized she was holding. Each of Batgirl’s legs had sunk slightly deeper into the sponge when it landed!

Desperately, the Curved Crusader tried to scoot back along the top of the sponge. She immediately realized, however, the hooks restraining her shoulders would never allow her to retreat.

Frustrated, she slammed her legs down into the sodden sponge again. Then, she held herself motionless as inspiration struck.

‘I can bend my legs now!’ she thought. Doing so had been utterly impossible when the villains had left her.

Grinning, Batgirl bent her legs, raising her knees and pulling her feet above the hooks that had initially held down her ankles. She pressed her feet against these hooks and straightened her legs, pushing the hooks which had restrained her feet and ankles over.

Her demeanor changed in a heartbeat as realization struck. ‘I’ll never have enough time to free myself from all these hooks that way before I sink onto the spines!’

“One chance now,” Batgirl muttered, placing her feet and hands flat on the surface of the sponge. She lifted her torso to form a human arch above the poriferan. More importantly, she felt the hooks restraining her thighs, hips, and shoulders drawn upward.

Now, the Curved Crusader faced the very real danger of her body sinking deep into the sodden sponge as she settled down. Survival, though, demanded that risk be taken!

As Batgirl slowly lowered herself, she twisted and nudged one of the hooks which had restrained her hips aside. When she was satisfied it could no longer confine her, she moved above its counterpart and settled down, pressing the hook deeper into the sodden surface. Her next maneuver was to pull her knees toward her chest. Slowly, she was able to slide her legs from beneath the hooks which had held her calves, knees, and thighs down. The pitted surface beneath her shifted as she extended her lower body straight up.

She pressed down with her hands briefly and loosened the hooks restraining her shoulders further. Batgirl seemed to sway upside down in a position perpendicular to the sponge.

There was no question in Batgirl’s mind. ‘If I fall back into my original position, I will die!’

She took a deep breath and thrust her legs back while her arms straightened. She slowly toppled backwards, pushing herself away from the sponge and the deadly spines beneath it before landing hard and inelegantly on the floor.

“I’m alive,” she said. She smiled at the self-evident nature of her statement, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly as all the adrenaline she had felt coursing through her body seemed to ebb away in an instant.

Batgirl remained supine until a trickle of water touched her gloved hand. Looking up as she climbed to her feet, Batgirl noted the sharp tips of the sea animal spines protruding from the top of the sponge upon which Penguin and the Parkers had left her.

“Just in time,” Batgirl softly said. She made her way from the tent and searched the building, but found no sign of her utility belt, the Penguin, or any of the Parkers.

After leaving Batgirl to her fiendish fate, the Penguin, Legs Parker, and the girl’s brothers drove to Gotham Town Hall, where Penguin’s plans for the criminals’ alibi were about to unfold.

“What are we doing here?” Legs Parker asked. glancing at Penguin who occupied the passenger seat beside her.

“We’re here so your brothers can pick up some women for us,” Penguin explained.

“We need women?” the girl gangster asked, raising an eyebrow. “In case you’ve forgotten, you had me as recently as last night, and I don’t go that way!”

Penguin smiled, leaned toward his companion, and reached for her knee as he blew a smoke ring. “Wak, wak, wak! I will forever treasure the memories we made last night, my dear. I'll wager the women I have in mind could never hold a candle to you. One, however, is an actress I once employed and I thought we’d retain a couple of her co-workers, too. They might help us persuade my former employee to cooperate.”

Legs smiled in response to the compliment and thoughtfully regarded the villain. “Why wouldn’t one of your former henchwomen gladly come back into your service, Pengy?”

“I’m afraid Finella is weak in pressure situations. Years ago she helped me use Bruce Wayne’s butler, Alfred, to track down the secret location of the Multimillionaires’ Annual Award Dinner after she came to me wanting to win a beauty contest. I arranged for her to pop out of a cake and gas the millionaires as well as the Dynamic Duo. We got away with twelve million dollars in cash.”

“Sounds promising,” Legs remarked. “What was the problem?”

“When we got back to our hideout at South Pier, Batman and Robin were waiting.”

“She ratted you out to Batman?” Legs asked.

“No. She went softer than a cooked marshmallow in an instant,” Penguin replied. “She cried all over the money we stole and said it wasn’t hers.”

“Did she change her mind after Batman sent her up the river without a paddle?”

“She left crime for the stage,” Penguin explained. "In fact, she also left the country. Her professional debut was in Shakespeare’s The Tempest at the famous Globe Theater in Londinium.”

“Are you talking about the actress, Finella?” Mad Dog asked.

“She’s a model, too,” Machine Gun added.

“That’s right,” Penguin thoughtfully said. “She spent her entire time working for me modeling bathing suits.” He turned away from Legs, lowered his voice, and spoke just to the three brothers. “They all looked good on her, too. Wak, wak, wak.”

“You make kidnapping this, Finella, sound like a good idea, boss,” Pretty Boy said.

Legs leaned over and injected herself back into the conversation. “We need someone to play Batgirl tonight, since the genuine article is by now . . . forever unavailable.” She laughed and her brothers soon joined in her merriment.

“Wak, wak, wak! Agreed. Are you ready?”

“Let’s go!” Legs Parker urged. “Come on, boys.”

“Stay quiet and move inside,” Pretty Boy Parker said to the stage doorman after nudging him with the muzzle of a machine gun.

“Y-Yes, sir,” the stage doorman said.

“What’s your name?” Mad Dog conversationally asked, following his brother into the backstage hall.

“Pop,” the stage doorman replied. “Calling a stage doorman ‘Pop’ is a time-honored, theatrical tradition and the age of the individual doesn’t matter.”

“Well, Pop,” Machine Gun said, at least sounding kindly, “unless you do what we tell you, you’re gonna get popped.”

“In the mouth?” Pop asked. “Listen. I work out at a gym an ex-boxer runs. I can take a punch.”

“He’s threatening to shoot you with his gun, you idiot,” Legs explained, leading the Penguin inside.

“It’s the Penguin!” Pop exclaimed.

“Calm yourself,” Legs encouraged, speaking slowly while resting a hand on his shoulder. “We didn’t come here to hurt you and we’d all rather avoid such an unfortunate and unnecessary eventuality.”

“What . . . do you want?” Pop asked.

“We require obedience. Wak!” Penguin said. “All right, boys, collect a couple of girls from the theater company and a car. Take them to the location we discussed and await instructions.”

“Remember, boys,” Legs said, “Finella and her understudy are off limits!”

“Is there a time after which the hostages become expendable?” Machine Gun asked.

“Midnight,” Legs said, sighing.

“Wak!” Penguin nodded his assent. “Tie up anyone who interferes with your efforts and explain the girls’ well being depends upon everyone’s good behavior.”

“I guess we’ll start with you, Pop,” Legs said. “Leave him to me, guys. Pengy, go see your old girl. I’ll catch up.” Pop’s eyes remained locked on the blonde, who pulled a pistol from behind her back as the men with her advanced into the building.

“Come in!” Finella called moments later in response to Penguin’s knock. She looked up from where she was brushing her hair at a well-illuminated mirror and her breath caught in her throat.

“Surprise, my little pollywog,” Penguin said.

“P—Penguin,” Finella said. “I—I don’t . . . believe it.”

“You remember me!” the Penguin enthused. “Wak, wak, wak! Isn’t that magnificent?” He spread his arms wide.

“Who could forget the guy who got me sent to prison?”

Penguin lowered his arms. “Finella, I—”

“I would never have studied acting if it hadn’t been for you. Thank you.”

The Penguin could only stare at her. “I don’t know what to say, Finella.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know things didn’t work out for us the way you’d planned. I think, in the end, they’ve worked out for the best. I was delighted to hear about your charity work.”

The wheels were turning in Penguin’s mind and he smiled at her engagingly. “That was why I wanted to see you, Finella. I came here to give you what I hope will be a tremendous opportunity.”

“Well, I’m committed to this show,” she said. “I can give you my agent’s card.”

Penguin shook his head. “I’m afraid there is no time to go through channels. My star became unavailable suddenly, and I need you – tonight!”

“I don’t know,” Finella said. “I have the show here. I’m flattered you considered me, Penguin, but under the circumstances—”

“It will be your understudy’s dream come true!” Penguin enthused. "You have the opportunity of a lifetime of which to take advantage. Wak, wak, wak! Meanwhile, you can be exceedingly magnanimous. Finella, believe me. Everybody wins!”

“What’s the job, Penguin?”

“I need you to play Batgirl at a charity event.”

“Batgirl!? Does she do charity events?”

“Yes, she does, but tonight she’s . . . indisposed.”

Finella looked at Penguin warily. “What do you mean?”

“You remember how Batman and Robin would usually shy away from public appearances. They kept themselves busy fighting criminals–”

“Like us, way back when.”

Penguin paused, taken slightly aback. “Well, wak! Precisely,” he said, recovering his jovial tone. “It’s just as you say, Finella. Batgirl routinely behaves in almost exactly the same way. Literally within the hour, it became obvious her crimefighting activities would prevent her from keeping an engagement she had made with me earlier today. Her . . . commitment necessitates a talented actresses like you filling in for her. What do you say?”

“I still don’t know, Penguin. I’m committed to the show here. Besides, I’m pretty sure Batgirl is quite a bit shorter than I am,” Finella said. “Besides, Batgirl isn’t a blonde.”

Penguin waved her objections aside dismissively. “As you no doubt know, I was once the head of Penguin Pictures!"

"Oh? I thought you ran Penguin Studios."

"That too! Corporations are a dime a dozen. Anyway, I discovered you, and I refuse to take no for an answer, Finella! What do you say now?”

“What was the last movie you made? I vaguely remember the one you did with Batman and Robin. I think it premiered at a benefit for the Wayne Federation of Boys’ Clubs. Weren’t the stars unwilling participants?”

“All of my players in past projects were under contract when they worked for me, including the Dynamic Duo,” Penguin explained. “It’s not my fault Batman is a no-talent prima donna!”

“Oh, I’m sure you conduct your business in an appropriate manner,” Finella gently said, “but I still can’t recall any pictures you’ve made recently. Of course, I have been traveling.” The actress shrugged. “I’m sorry, Penguin.”

“Well, to tell the truth, my companies have gone into charitable work. We’ve never really turned a consistent profit, so we never made anything of which you’re likely to have heard.”

“That’s too bad, Penguin. Oh, someone should be coming to call for me in a minute.”

They both turned toward the dressing room door as a knock sounded. “Ms. Finella?” a female voice inquired.

“What is it?”

“I’ve prepared your new costume for tonight.”

“You’re changing my costume now?!” Finella yanked the door open to find Legs Parker standing there with a Batgirl costume slung over her arm.

“Allow me, Finella, to present my assistant, Miss Parker,” Penguin said.

Legs glared coldly at her partner in crime. “That’s Ms. Parker, Pengy.” She then turned her attention to the actress, favoring her with a winning smile. “So, would you like to ride over to the performance in costume?”

“I—I’m sorry,” Finella said. “This is happening so fast. I haven’t even accepted the role.”

“Oh?” Legs inquired, glancing at Penguin.

“We were just wrapping up negotiations,” Penguin explained. “You see, Finella, I’m quite serious and, as I told you, I have no intention of taking no for an answer. Wak, wak, wak!”

Finella regarded her smiling visitors until they all heard a scream out in the alley suddenly silenced. “What was that?!” the actress said, rushing to the window and peering outside. She stared for a moment and turned, reaching for her cellphone. “Some armed men are dragging a couple of our musicians into a car. I’m calling the police!”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Legs said, pulling her pistol into view and aiming it at Finella.

“I’m sorry to have to resort to this form of base persuasion, Finella,” Penguin apologetically said. “Those ladies my colleagues are escorting from these premises will be released unharmed later tonight, following your performance.”

The dreadful truth suddenly dawned on Finella. Her pretty face transformed into an ashen, horrified mask as she turned to regard her visitors. “Then, the two of you really aren’t taking no for an answer, are you?”

Legs Parker shook her head and Penguin tranquilly blew a smoke ring. “Wak! I’m afraid not.”

“What will those men do to their prisoners if I refuse?”

“You’ll find out, if you refuse to do the performance or mess it up too badly. Wak, wak, wak! We’d much rather avoid such unnecessary . . . unpleasantness.”

“Maybe we should let you get changed,” Legs cheerfully suggested, putting her gun away. “I’ll help you, Finella. Penguin will get the car.”

Finella shrugged helplessly and reached for the costume Legs held out to her. She weighed the utility belt in her hand curiously. “This is heavier than I thought it would be,” she remarked. “It’s almost as if there really is equipment inside these pouches.”

“It’s quite genuine,” Penguin said, grinning happily, “I assure you.”

Legs nodded her agreement and beamed with wicked enthusiasm.

Finella could only shudder.

As Finella changed and began to learn what would be expected of her, Batgirl was speaking to the head of security at Gotham Square Gardens.

“You’re telling me the Penguin is staging the event tonight just to study my security procedures, and he plans to penetrate them and rob a show in the near future?”

“I’m afraid so, Mister Gerald. When I confronted him with my suspicions, Penguin tried to kill me,” Batgirl said.

The security chief leaned back in his chair. “Well, we should simply have him arrested when he arrives!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll have someone with him dressed as me whom he could use as a hostage. I’d rather get him when he’s isolated and cannot threaten any innocent people.”

“I understand. What can I do to keep my people safe?”

“Leave the security of this facility to me tonight. Penguin wants to study how you operate. If you deny him that opportunity, your other events will be considerably safer.”

“Won’t you go after Penguin once he leaves?”

“Not if I’m responsible for security here,’ Batgirl said.

“Why don’t I hold my people back until you’re ready to go after Penguin? I can have them dress in plainclothes to keep them from being conspicuous.”

“Good thinking, sir,” Batgirl complimented the security chief. “Thank you for your trust.”

Batgirl watched from the security room as Finella performed, but she wasn’t the only watcher.

“Have you seen any uniformed security?” Penguin asked, lighting a fresh cigarette from the one he extracted from his cigarette holder and crushing it out as he and Legs Parker stood in the wings, concealed from view.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t tonight,” Legs said. “That doesn’t make sense. When events here have been televised in the past, I’ve always seen uniformed security.”

“I smell a bat. Come with me. I think we should be certain our stand-in Batgirl’s performance really is posthumous. Wak, wak, wak! It’s time we viewed the genuine article’s mortal remains.” Unseen, the perfidious pair hurried from the stage.

Batgirl grinned. “Now, we record what’s about to happen. Crooks aren’t often prosecuted for trying to kill me, due to lack of evidence. Whatever happens, Mister Gerald, leave Penguin to me.”

“She’s gone!” Legs Parker exclaimed, rushing to the perforated sponge and reaching for one of the spines impaling it from below. The Penguin followed her into the tent where they had left Batgirl to die.

“Don’t touch those!” he warned, hooking the girl’s wrist with the handle of his umbrella. “They’re lethal. Remember?”

“It looks like . . . everything worked perfectly . . . except . . . Batgirl escaped beforehand. Well, now we know,” she said, slipping her hand free from her partner’s bumbershoot. “Let’s get out of here.”

“I was afraid something like this had happened,” Penguin thoughtfully agreed, turning to face his companion. “I don’t know how Batgirl did it, but she escaped another brilliantly conceived, treacherous trap. Wak, wak, wak!”

“That’s right, Penguin,” a female voice said from behind him. “I had no idea the cliché about criminals returning to the scene of their crimes could be applied to such an alleged genius as you.” Penguin and Legs Parker whirled and found Batgirl regarding them from the tent entrance with hands on her hips. “Would you two care to come quietly?”

“Congratulations on your survival, Batgirl. Wak, wak, wak!”

“Your miraculous escape is an unpleasant surprise,” Legs Parker agreed. “If you think you’re going to take us in, though, you may have a surprise coming. Do you have the time?”

Batgirl looked at the woman suspiciously, then consulted the watch she sometimes wore on her wrist. “It’s about eleven, well past time to send both of you back to jail!”

Legs Parker smiled. “Take as much time as you want kicking us around, Batgirl. You should know, however, both Pengy and I borrowed a couple of your counterpart out there’s co-workers to ensure her good behavior. My brothers will be ‘entertaining’ them in about an hour, unless Pengy and I call them off. Of course, if we need to talk to our lawyer . . . . ”

“You’re despicable!” Batgirl declared.

“We’ll just be going, assuming you want to keep those two women safe,” Legs confidently said.

“Assuming I even believe you, what guarantee can you give me to ensure their safety?”

“I think,” Penguin said, “you’ll just have to trust us. Wak, wak, wak!”

“Forget it! I’d rather trust a spitting cobra. Besides, if Legs’ brothers do harm your prisoners, there will simply be more crimes for which you’ll all ultimately be punished.”

“Too bad you’ll have no idea where they are when you wake up,” Legs Parker said, carelessly tossing something to the floor at Batgirl’s feet. As a colored cloud enveloped Batgirl, the girl gangster drew Penguin back.

Batgirl knew her only hope was the fresh air outside the tent. Legs, however, divined the heroine’s intentions and moved to cut off the Curved Crusader’s escape after guiding Penguin to safety.

“Nighty night, Batgirl,” Legs said, tripping her enemy. “How does it feel to be defeated by your own Bat-Gas?” Batgirl tried to rise, but collapsed helplessly at Legs Parker’s feet.

“Wak, wak, wak! You were magnificent, my dear. Batgirl lies at our mercy once again. Resetting the trap in this tent is so tempting.”

“You can bet she has someone watching. Our best move now is to get out of here. Tonight’s work is a shambles, I’m afraid.”

“Wak!” Penguin touched a button on the handle of his ever-present umbrella. A well-honed blade emerged from the brolly’s tip. He held it over Batgirl’s defenseless neck.

“It would be so easy to take care of her once and for all right now . . . but, of course, you’re right. Committing a crime on videotape would be profoundly unwise. Besides, killing Batgirl this way would hardly be sporting.” He pushed another button on his bumbershoot, retracting the knife.

“No, indeed,” Legs agreed, turning Batgirl’s prone body over carelessly with one foot. “The pleasure of eliminating Batgirl must sadly be deferred. I have no objection to having her cut to pieces, but the job should be handled by an artist who would carve her like a Thanksgiving turkey, and do the work slowly.” Her eyes sparkled as she regarded the Penguin. “Now, we do have an opportunity to misdirect the opposition, if you have your key to the hideout on you.”

“I do,” Penguin replied, producing a magnetically coded, plastic card he handed to the girl.

“Good. We’ll leave it with Batgirl as a clue. She’ll race to the rescue while we make ourselves scarce,” Legs said, dropping the item beside her slumbering victim.

“Excellent, my dear,” Penguin said. “Wak, wak, wak! I trust you intend to call your brothers and have them leave the prisoners behind to waste more of Batgirl’s time?”

“Precisely. Meanwhile, you and I will help ourselves to all of the security tapes from this establishment.”

“Capital! Batgirl will continue to focus on the plan she’s already thwarted, since we’ll seem to be going ahead with it. Wak! Brilliant!”

“Wait until you hear the rest,” Legs said coyly.

“I can’t wait!” Penguin enthused.

“You will, though,” Legs said sternly. “We have work to do and a phone call to make.”

“Wak! I could kiss you, Legs.”

“We’ll have ample time for that sort of thing later, too. Let’s go!” Batgirl remained motionless as the mis-matched pair took their leave.

“So, Penguin really gave me one of your genuine utility belts?” Finella asked the next morning as she sat in the Commissioner’s office, sipping a cup of tea.

“That’s right, Finella,” Batgirl said. “Penguin and Legs Parker were trying to study Gotham Square Gardens’ security methodology. The stolen security tapes will not only deprive law enforcement of valuable evidence, but might enable them to proceed with their plans.”

“You know what they’re planning, though,” Finella objected.

Batgirl shrugged.

“Now, what did you find at Penguin and that girl’s hideout?” the actress asked.

“Your colleagues were frightened, but unharmed. The Parker brothers left them tied up in a hotel suite. With the former captives’ statements and what you tell us, we’ll be able to haul in at least the Parkers for kidnapping. Penguin has a nasty habit of having his partners blamed for his crimes. Because of his lawyer, that stratagem has worked for him several times.”

“Well, I’m glad everyone is safe. I’ll be happy to help out in any way I can.”

“Thank you, Finella,” Commissioner Gordon said, escorting the actress to the double doors of his office. “Bonnie, my secretary, will take you to an officer who will take your statement.” When he returned to his desk, the Commissioner regarded Batgirl seriously. “Penguin is too smart to carry out a plan he knows you know about.”

“I agree,” Batgirl said. “Legs Parker is a villainess in her own right. He might tweak one of her ideas. They’ve all but disappeared since last night.”

“I’ve got officers looking at Penguin’s old hideouts for signs of activity.”

“We might also want to check out Leg’s mother’s house, the place the Parkers used in Crime Alley before Legs’ aborted wedding, and the medieval-looking castle north of Gotham City where she held the ceremony.”

“I’ll put some people on it.”

“Be careful, Commissioner,” Batgirl warned. “Penguin and the Parkers may only be guilty of kidnapping and attempting to murder me right now, but they’re up to something.”

“What will you do, Batgirl?”

Batgirl lowered her voice and leaned in toward her father. “I think I'd better go back to work. I can’t be of much more help to you until we figure out Penguin’s plot.”

Chief O’Hara burst into his superior’s office as Commissioner Gordon returned from lunch. “We got them!”

“You got whom, Chief?” the Commissioner asked.

“Me men and I caught the Penguin, Legs Parker, and her brothers. They were hiding out at the Parker’s house on Cherry Blossom Road.”

“Really?!” The Commissioner was naturally surprised. It had been some time since the Department had captured any supervillains on their own – if ever. “Tell me about it. Did you suffer any casualties?”

“No, sir. They stayed holed up until the media arrived and then walked out with their hands up. We arrested the lot of them without firing a single shot.”

“Good – no, great work, Chief! Congratulations!” The public official gripped his top commander’s hand and shook it vigorously.

“Thank you, sir. I ordered three hundred rounds for both machine guns and pistols when I realized we’d be going after them. It’s a little surprising how successful we were. Of course, I’m not complaining.”

“So, what’s next for the Parkers and Penguin’s case?”

“They’ll plead first thing in the morning. Penguin called his lawyer with his one phone call.”

“Lucky Pierre,” the Commissioner said, shaking his head. “He’ll turn the trial into a circus if he can.”

“Legs Parker’s phone call was more mysterious,” the Chief said. “I just can’t figure it out.”

“Whom did Legs call?”

“Baby Jane Towser,” the Chief said.

“Do you mean corporate mogul ‘Big Daddy’ Towser’s socialite daughter?” Commissioner Gordon inquired.

“Sure an’ she’s the same girl. She ‘socialized’ with the Joker more than once and I hear she just bought a paddle wheel boat she’s having renovated. I’ve read in the paper it’s anchored at the Gotham Amusement Pier within sight of her family’s yacht. She plans to open it as a casino and this time of year it will be the only attraction on that part of the waterfront.”

The Commissioner sighed. “We’ll probably find out the meaning of Legs' strange phone call tomorrow morning.”

Hours later, the probable answer to the Commissioner’s inquiry arrived by messenger at Networld CEO Katherine Kane’s mansion.

“Penguin Charities is holding an exclusive casino night Saturday on Baby Jane Towser’s paddle-wheeler. I’m invited, and I can bring a guest,” the beautiful, brunette businesswoman, who fought crime in the gorgeous guise of Batwoman, said.

“I don’t know,” her niece, Betty, who worked with Batwoman in the heroic guise of Flamebird, said. She had been in the Bat-Cavern both working on some equipment and watching television. When she heard the doorbell, the attractive athlete made her way to the living room where she and her aunt promptly began talking. “Penguin was arrested earlier today, along with all of the original Ma Parker’s children. On the news, I saw all of them walk out of the Parkers’ family house with their hands up.”

“The Parker brothers and Legs were taken into custody without a shot being fired?” Katherine Kane asked. “That’s hard to believe.”

“I saw it . . . several times,” Betty replied. “Are you suspicious, Aunt Kathy?” Betty asked.

“Aren’t you?” the older woman asked.

“Well, the police did have the place surrounded, but . . . now that you mention it, it does seem very curious,” Betty said. “Why would Penguin and the Parkers give up so easily?”

“I don’t know,” Katherine Kane slowly said.

“Maybe we should go to Penguin’s party, assuming that crooked bird even throws it.”

Katherine regarded her niece for a long moment with a steady gaze. “Have you ever been to a casino?”

“Aunt Kathy!” Betty said, exasperated. “I’m almost twenty-four years old! Now, the tour doesn’t like us associating with gamblers, but on the Continent, the girls and I checked out–” Betty noticed the smile crossing her mentor’s face. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

Katherine Kane confirmed the correctness of the professional tennis player’s conclusion, then turned serious once again. “The Penguin is clearly up to something. Showing up might be the only way to find out what it is. Meanwhile, I suppose we should follow the case as it’s tried in court. Are you doing anything tomorrow morning?”

“All my clients plead, ‘not guilty,’ your Honor,” Lucky Pierre said.

“Very well,” the judge said, banging his gavel. “Your pleas are entered. We’ll move to the question of bail.”

“The State moves to deny bail,” prosecuter Harvey Dent said. “The Penguin once tried to escape from this very courtroom, your Honor—”

“I object,” Lucky Pierre interrupted. “Past court proceedings—”

“Are the basis of precedent,” Harvey Dent cut in, “which your Honor well knows—”

“Have no bearing on the question before the Court,” Lucky Pierre said. “Everyone knows a penguin is a flightless bird.”

The judge’s gavel banged again, silencing the attorneys, who focused on the magistrate ahead of them. “Your objection is overruled, and if that is the best you can do, we can expect this Penguin to remain flightless due to the considerable expense of movement.”

The District Attorney proceeded to recite a litany of reasons why bail should be denied, most relating to past conduct of the defendants. Defense counsel relied on the fundamental principle that a person accused of crime is presumed to be innocent until proved guilty beyond all reasonable doubt at trial.

Although bail was granted, Harvey was pleased with the eye-popping figure at which it was set. Even considering only ten per cent had to be posted as bail security, the sum of money required was substantial.

Lucky Pierre was scowling until the courtroom doors opened to admit a cameraman and a modishly dressed young woman. “I’m Baby Jane Towser and I’m here to post bail for the Penguin and his associates,” she announced.

“Well, ma’am,” the bailiff said, handing her a piece of paper, “paying bail in court is highly irregular. I think you should know the required amount is, well . . . um . . . considerable.”

Baby Jane glanced at the figure and shrugged. “You’ll accept my check, won’t you?”

“If you want to throw your money away, Ms. Towser,” the judge began, “I’m sure the taxpayers will appreciate it.”

“Wait a minute!” Harvey interjected. “All the defendants are on parole! I move that their parole be revoked!”

“Objection, your Honor!” Pierre exclaimed. “I know it doesn’t take much to revoke parole, but that matter isn’t properly before the Court this morning. Due process requires my clients be given notice--”

The judge cut him off in mid-sentence. “Harvey, by Gotham state law, he’s right, you know. You can begin the paperwork to revoke their parole immediately, but for now . . .” the judge glanced at the check the bailiff presented and banged his gavel yet again, “let them all go,” he ordered.

“Baby Jane Towser did what?!” Commissioner Gordon demanded. “How much did it cost her?”

“She wrote a check for Penguin and the Parker siblings’ bail about a minute after it was set at a level I would have thought to be prohibitively high. A cameraman filmed the whole episode and it’s all over the news,” Chief O’Hara said.

“Unbelievable!”

“Begorra!” the Chief exclaimed. “I can’t believe it, either.”

The Commissioner’s intercom buzzed. “Your daughter is here for lunch, Commissioner,” his secretary said.

“I think I just lost my appetite,” he said, reaching for the intercom. “Thank you, Bonnie.”

Later, Baby Jane Towser led Penguin and Legs Parker into the pilot house on the uppermost deck of her multistory craft with the enormous paddlewheel mounted on the rear. “This concludes our tour,” she said.

“It’s magnificent, Baby Jane,” Penguin enthused.

“We’re all very pleased to help you with your commercial venture,” Legs Parker said.

“Ahoy!” someone cried from the pier.

“Who’s that?” Baby Jane asked.

“I sent my brothers to find some workers to help get your boat shipshape for our event this weekend.”

“Well,” Baby Jane happily said, “I’d better go put them to work.”

“We’ll talk to you later, my dear Baby Jane. Wak, wak, wak! Thank you again,” Penguin said, lighting a cigarette as he watched her departure with interest. “Legs, my dear, this arrangement is a criminal masterstroke! It’s ingeniousness is comparable to mine.”

“Thank you, Pengy,” Legs Parker said. “She is useful, isn’t she?”

“For many things,” the arch criminal agreed. “You’re certain our workforce of ex-convicts will modify Baby Jane’s boat to our specifications?”

“Absolutely,” Legs Parker said. “Meanwhile, you and I will go over Baby Jane’s exclusive guest list and determine what fabulous jewels her guests are likely to wear. Then, when we stage our fake robbery, faux jewels can be returned and we’ll make a fortune!”

“Capital!” Penguin enthused. “Wak, wak, wak! Capital!” The girl gangster was also laughing delightedly. “You’re certain we’ll have enough time to complete all the preparations?”

“Certainly, Pengy,” Legs Parker said. “You have a press conference to do and Ms. Towser to keep entertained while I make sure everything runs smoothly. After all, we both know there is no such thing as bad publicity.”

“Won’t you be jealous while I’m ‘entertaining’ Baby Jane?”

“I’ll be horribly jealous, but I’m confident you’ll make it up to me when we’re both filthy rich.”

“Wak! It will be my extreme pleasure.” The criminal couple went on laughing until more workers arrived.

Days later, Legs Parker wore a short dress with spaghetti straps which, together with her tall boots, showcased her namesakes magnificently as she greeted Katherine and Betty Kane. “Welcome aboard,” she said, checking their names off a list and comparing the jewels they wore with the list she had made of paste imitations. “Have a good time.”

“Commissioner Gordon,” the girl said moments later. “I’m surprised and delighted to see you and your lovely daughter. Welcome.”

“The invitation was something of a surprise,” the Commissioner said.

“You know how the Penguin is,” Legs said conversationally.

“All too well,” Barbara witheringly responded.

Legs cursed silently and thought, ‘I forgot Penguin kidnapped Barbara Gordon and tried to marry her using a death threat against the Commissioner to induce her consent! Now, I really need a drink!’

“Well,” she said aloud, “I’m sure he would encourage you to have a good time.” She signaled Pretty Boy to take over for her. “Please follow me. I insist on getting you a round of drinks.”

Barbara hesitated, but smiled as her father agreed. “That’s very kind of you, Ms. Parker. We accept.”

Barbara glanced at him, frowning slightly as they followed their hostess.

“Please watch your heads,” Legs said, as they stepped into the cabin beneath the uppermost deck and moved to the bar. Barbara and her father bent to avoid one of the cylindrical beams arranged at an angle along the perimeter of the room upon which some lights were mounted. “We have just a little more work to do on the boat yet, but it’s mostly cosmetic.”

“What you’ve done so far looks great,” the Commissioner said. “It is very kind of you, your family, and the Penguin to help Baby Jane with her venture.”

“I’m proud of what we’ve done with the boat so far,” Legs said. The trio ordered their drinks.

“The wheel in back is obviously there for propulsion,” Barbara said, relaxing a little. “It’s steam powered, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Legs replied. “Two smokestacks vent the excess steam and smoke from the engine room. Take a look if you’d like. The entire boat, except for the personal cabins below deck, are open to the public tonight.”

“Thank you,” the Gordons said in unison and set down their empty glasses before moving off.

Legs turned back toward the bar once they had gone. “Get me another and make it a double,” she ordered, swallowing the remainder of her first in a single gulp. All the joviality left her face as the second glass arrived. “Tell Penguin I want to talk to him.”

“Why in the world did you invite the Commissioner and his daughter?” Legs angrily asked as the villain joined her at the bar. “I had a very awkward moment when they came aboard.”

“I’m sure you managed to smooth things over.”

“Of course I did, but—”

“The answer to your question is confidence,” Penguin explained. “Tonight, I’m giving Baby Jane and her guests both confidence and pride in supporting the charities. After all, our targets own many valuable jewels and we’ll want additional opportunities to snatch the rest. Wak, wak, wak!”

“So, the Commissioner and Barbara Gordon are here to tell people about the fake robbery, after we’ve robbed these birds blind?”

“Precisely,” Penguin answered. “Wak, wak, wak! It’s time for you to set the stage.”

Legs inhaled and let the air out of her lungs slowly. “Okay,” she said, calming. “Leave everything to me.”

“Is everything all right?” Baby Jane asked, entering the cabin and approaching tentatively.

“We’re fine,” Legs Parker assured the socialite with a bright smile, setting her empty glass aside.

Penguin nodded, waving encouragingly at Legs Parker as she withdrew. “Now, Baby Jane, perhaps we should go to the gambling floor and mingle with your guests?”

“What a lovely idea,” the ravishing, rich girl agreed as Penguin took her arm and led her to the top of an ornate staircase.

One deck below, in the converted gambling hall, Katherine and Betty Kane passed one another and spoke briefly in low tones. “The staff of this boat is a who’s who of Gotham City henchmen and henchwomen.”

“The waiters are from Riddler’s River Rat Gang and the duo that just got done performing worked for Catwoman when she and her gang posed as a singing group,” Betty said.

“I think the dealers have experience from Catwoman and Penguin’s various restaurant ventures,” Katherine Kane said. “I’d imagine the Commissioner is aware of everything we’ve noticed, but we’re in no position to speak to him about our concerns and confirm our suspicions.”

“I never thought I’d feel so helpless,” Betty complained. “We have to stand here and watch the Penguin, that black bird of prey, strutting among the golden geese.”

“Agreed. We’ll just have to remain watchful and be ready for anything,” Katherine Kane said. A moment later the beautiful billionaire pivoted to direct her niece’s gaze as she continued speaking, “Look. The Commissioner is talking to Penguin.”

“His daughter is chatting with Baby Jane and maneuvering her away from the men. This could be interesting,” Betty said. “Can we get closer?”

“You know, I am a little hungry,” Katherine Kane said, noting they could pass the conversation on the way to the buffet table.

“Good idea, Aunt Kathy. The food looks good.”

“I’m very proud to give ex-convicts a chance like this, Commissioner,” Penguin was saying. “The Cook sisters prepared all the food and I have quite an infamous musical trio preparing to perform. I have no doubt you’ll both recognize and enjoy seeing them when they take the stage.” The Penguin winked conspiratorially.

“You’re probably right, Penguin,” the Commissioner replied. He exhaled and seemed to relax just a little, forcing a smile. “Still, if tonight’s event is genuine and your staff’s experience helps your employees mend their ways, I can’t complain.”

“That’s the spirit, Commissioner,” Penguin encouraged, “Please enjoy yourself. Wak, wak, wak!”

The villain disengaged himself and glanced at a clock on the wall as he rejoined Baby Jane Towser. “Excuse me, ladies. It’s become rather warm in here. Could I borrow Ms. Towser while I take the air on deck?”

“Go ahead, Penguin,” Barbara said. “I have to compliment you on the party.”

“Thank you, Ms. Gordon.”

“I’m not saying this simply to be polite, Penguin,” Barbara insisted. “It’s December and the decks of this boat are as warm as the cabins and common rooms. I’m impressed.”

“Well, Wak! You may be aware of how the Greater Gotham Sporting Links Confederation uses parabolic halogen heaters to make both athletes and patrons comfortable in the dead of winter at their outdoor volleyball stadium. The units warming the decks are much smaller and considerably cheaper, while equally effective.”

“Thank you for sharing, Penguin.”

“Oh, you’re very welcome, Ms. Gordon. Now, would you please excuse us?”

“Certainly.”

Penguin passed Legs Parker as he guided Baby Jane Towser from the cabin on the main deck and nodded.

Legs winked and moved to where her brothers, who were dressed in black suits with white ties, had stationed themselves. “Pengy is taking care of our hostess. Tell the girls to go on and then we'll all go to work.”

Moments later, the female trio Penguin had mentioned stepped onto the stage. The girl who moved to the central microphone wore a white, one-piece bathing suit adorned with tiny, black flowers and had pulled her red hair back into a pony tail. Both the statuesque blonde posed to her left and the slightly shorter, but equally shapely brunette who flanked the redhead on the right, wore red bikinis.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the trio’s leader began, “if you don’t yet think this party is a gas, that’s about to change.”

Barbara immediately recognized Doe, the speaker; Rae, the brunette; and their blonde companion as Undine's twin sister, Mimi. This trio of criminal troubadours typically worked as a team, originally appearing as the instruments of the Great Chandell. Next, they had been part of a horrible harem of henchwomen in the service of Madame DeBase, who had tried to destroy Batman and Robin’s reputation. Reappearing in the Siren’s service, they revealed both a lingering grudge against Batgirl, stemming from her having foiled Madame DeBase’s plan, and the fact they had signed on simultaneously with the Minstrel. He had forsaken them, leaving them for the police to arrest. Siren had done nothing overt to display her displeasure, but subsequently took the precaution of routinely casting her sinister spell on them whenever they returned to her service.

Barbara had her suspicions about the trio’s presence. Both Katherine and Betty Kane shared these well-founded concerns, but neither Batgirl nor the Distaff Duo was aware the other was on board in their civilian guises.

The musical trio put on filter masks and smiled wickedly as the guests occupying Baby Jane Towser’s floating casino slowly began to collapse. Barbara reached a door at the top of the staircase and found it locked, while Katherine and Betty Kane made the same discovery at two other exits. The superheroines’ alter-egos were powerless to do anything but collapse helplessly.

Legs Parker waited a full minute after the gas did its work before leading her brothers and the ship’s staff into the room. “Good work, girls. Now, everyone, quickly pluck these pigeons and open the windows! They’ll all recover in a very few minutes. After my speech, the real work will begin. Let’s get busy.”

Barbara remained prone for a moment after recovering to observe the effects of what had obviously been a colorless, odorless gas. Once she was satisfied the victims had suffered no lingering ill-effects, she turned and saw the concerned look with which her father was regarding her.

“I’m okay, Daddy,” she said. “Has anyone figured out what happened?”

“I’ve been robbed,” a woman cried in dismay. Several similar cries echoed the complaint.

“Penguin,” Betty Kane softly said through clenched teeth.

“Easy, Betty,” Katherine Kane said. They had found one another as Legs Parker’s victims had begun to recover. “I think there is more drama to come.”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Legs Parker said, mounting the stage and taking the microphone in one hand. “May I have your attention, please? I know you’ve just had a startling experience and I’m here to tell you it was all a simulation.”

Legs held up her free hand defensively while the inevitable, dismayed cries sounded.

“The simulated robbery you’ve just experienced will give each and every one of you the unique opportunity to support an array of charities, including the Police Benevolent Society. All of your belongings are available in the cabin beside the cloakroom and will be returned, we hope, in exchange for a donation. Naturally, none of you are required to participate, but I hope we can rely upon your good will. I see we have a few distinguished members of the press among us. I’d be happy to answer all your questions and pose for pictures near where everyone will shortly show off their generosity. Thank you ever so much.” The young villainess moved through a now-unlocked door and left her victims to make sense of her words.

“They’re going to get away with it again!” Commissioner Gordon exclaimed. He took a deep breath and let the air out slowly as his fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly. “So will Penguin, who was nowhere in sight when the job was pulled. The press coverage will give this scheme tremendous publicity. These devils are all very clever.”

“I think I’ll look in on this event after the crowd disperses,” Barbara Gordon decided quietly. “I might just learn something interesting.” She smiled at her father. “I think I’ll change first, though.”

“Good idea,” Commissioner Gordon murmured.

Katherine and Betty Kane quietly came to a similar decision almost simultaneously.

A couple of hours later, three pairs of eyes – two peering through masks and one gazing through goggles – watched a rowboat traverse the sea between the Towser family yacht - moored to a buoy - and the docked paddle-wheeler. The single occupant of the small boat was the Penguin.

“So, my dear,” he said to Legs as she welcomed him aboard with a long, deep kiss. “How profitable was our performance? Wak, wak, wak!”

“We won’t know until we sell off the stuff we replaced,” the girl replied, grinning broadly. “I paid off most of the staff and covered many of our other expenses in advance. All our guests have gone, so we can enjoy the excessive amount of money that remains. It’s practically all profit. How is Baby Jane?”

“Sleeping soundly, thanks to a tiny pill I dissolved in her drink. I’ll make it up to her later and she won’t have a clue I drugged her. Now, you haven’t forgotten to subtract the donations we’ll be making to the charities.”

“Well, Pengy, let’s just say our donors were very generous.”

“Were they indeed? Wak, wak, wak! Let’s feast our eyes on the spoils of a job well done.”

“Right this way,” Legs Parker said, strutting into the main cabin, where her brothers and the pretty trio of phantom girls leered hungrily at the glittering pile of jewelry heaped on a table.

“Beautiful,” Penguin said, smiling at the loot and his minions as his hostess plunged a hand into the glittering pile and allowed jewelry to spill through her fingers.

“We appreciate you cutting us in on this caper, Penguin,” Doe said, speaking for her companions, who nodded.

“It’s my pleasure, ladies. Wak! You really have Ms. Parker to thank for the small fortune you’ve earned. Her extensive contacts were invaluable in pulling off this caper so quickly.”

Legs Parker curtseyed and dipped her head. “We’re rich,” she enthused, chuckling. “There’s enough here to put us all on easy street for awhile, and this is just the beginning.”

“Guess again!” an authoritative, female voice directed.

“We now have proof Penguin Charities is a fraud!” a second female voice concurred.

“Batwoman and Flamebird!” Legs Parker said, glancing at the heroines framed in the doors to the cabin. “Quick, get up the stairs and we’ll escape via the top deck.”

“Not if I have any say,” another heroine said.

“Batgirl,” the Parker brothers said simultaneously.

“We’re trapped!” Doe, Rae, and Mimi simultaneously said, casting quick glances in all directions.

“We’ll fight our way out, men!” Penguin decided aloud. “Swab the decks with them!”

The master criminal thrust his umbrella into the air as the Parker brothers separated. Legs Parker and the phantom trio flattened themselves against one wall, trying to remain outside the battle zone.

Batgirl perched prettily on the staircase railing and slid rapidly along it, swinging both legs over and into the cabin. Machine Gun regarded her closely, planning to pivot and attack her as she passed, but she surprised him by sliding forward just before reaching him. Her boot heels slammed audibly into his chest, knocking the thug flat. The impact prompted Pretty Boy and Mad Dog to charge the Distaff Duo.

Each heroine sent her attacker in a different direction. Penguin smacked Batgirl with his umbrella before Batwoman and Flamebird converged on him, slamming a fist each into his breadbasket.

Pretty Boy and Machine Gun gripped Batwoman and Flamebird’s shoulders respectively and spun them before shoving the heroines into one another. Mad Dog confronted Batgirl and received a straight-legged kick in the chin for his trouble.

Penguin gripped his umbrella in both hands, one at either end of the shaft and slipped it over Batgirl’s head from behind, pulling back against the golden bat pictured on her chest, locking the Curved Crusader’s arms to her sides and holding her immobile. “Mash her!” Penguin commanded as Pretty Boy and Machine Gun approached.

The men had just reached their target when yellow and red gloves fell on their shoulders and spun them around. Gloved fists of the same colors impacted the thugs’ chins, knocking them to the ground. Batgirl rammed her elbows into Penguin’s gut and gripped the umbrella, pivoting to send him flying. Mad Dog, meanwhile, had gotten hold of the Distaff Duo’s necks and slammed their heads together. Batgirl tossed the umbrella aside carelessly and moved toward Mad Dog. He retreated to a wall and took the brunt of a painful combination Batgirl launched mercilessly.

“Come on, girls,” Legs Parker urged, gripping Penguin’s fallen umbrella. “I think we’ll prepare a contingency counterattack.” Doe, Rae and Mimi followed the young, blonde villainess.

Batgirl, meanwhile, moved to protect the stunned Distaff Duo. She clobbered Mad Dog with one of her Las Vegas showgirl kicks and spun to fell him with a heel to the neck. He was knocked out of the fight as Batwoman and Flamebird regained their feet.

Flamebird advanced on Machine Gun and sidestepped a flurry of blows worthy of his name. She cut his legs out from under him and pounced on the stunned thug to slam his head into the deck several times.

Pretty Boy found himself facing Batwoman, who gripped the wrist behind his extended fist, pulled, and slammed her foot into the thug’s gut. He collapsed and fell back when the ball of Batwoman’s other foot shattered his nose.

Penguin found himself unarmed and going one on one with Batgirl. The Curved Crusader feinted and Penguin counterpunched. A foot slapped Penguin’s side and Batgirl returned to her base stance, feinting again. Penguin’s counterattack met only empty air and set him off balance for the split second Batgirl used to slide to the side and slam a foot into the center of the villain’s back. He did not get up after falling flat on his face.

Batgirl, Batwoman, and Flamebird shook hands. They then disappointedly looked over the human debris to which they had reduced Penguin and the Parker brothers before Bat-cuffing the defeated villains.

“What happened to Legs and the other women?” Batgirl asked as her glance swept the cabin without discerning a possible hiding place.

“One thing is for sure,” Batwoman said, straightening. “They didn’t just disappear.”

“They must be on deck,” Flamebird decided. “Come on!” She led the way from the cabin, unaware their quarry was waiting above them. “We’ll find them.”

“Not if we find you first,” Legs Parker murmured as Batgirl and Batwoman followed Flamebird. “Now, girls!”

Doe, Rae, and Mimi flung a fine mesh outward above the unsuspecting heroines and grinned wolfishly as it fell, enveloping the terrific-looking trio.

“It’s a net!” Flamebird said, raising her arms and twisting.

“We’ve got to get out of here!” Batwoman urged, doing likewise.

Batgirl reached for a knife at her belt and began slashing at the net around her. “This situation will only get worse.”

Doe, Rae, and Mimi’s arrival on deck demonstrated the accuracy of Batgirl’s prediction.

“It looks like the net got them,” Mimi said.

“Not for long,” Rae disagreed, pointing. “Look. Batgirl is escaping!”

“We can’t have that,” Doe declared. “Come on. I’ve been looking forward to subduing her for a long time.”

The phenomenal looking phantoms moved closer and Doe seized the wrist in which Batgirl held the knife. Positioning the weapon, Doe slammed her knee into Batgirl’s wrist, forcing the heroine’s hand to open and release the blade. Once Batgirl was disarmed, the wicked redhead went to work on the heroine.

Rae, meanwhile, swept Batwoman’s legs from beneath her and began attacking the heroine’s prone body with kick after vicious kick. At the same time, Flamebird found herself being mercilessly pummeled by Mimi.

The nets entwining Batgirl and the Distaff Duo prevented them from fighting back effectively. Batgirl and Flamebird found themselves pinned against the outer wall of the cabin while Batwoman was not allowed to rise from the deck.

The terrible threesome went on mercilessly working their victims over, slowly reducing them to a trio of beaten, netted heaps. Nevertheless, the one-sided fight was far from over. Doe; Rae; and Mimi pulled the heroines to their feet and returned to their methodical demolition with sadistic delight, relishing every blow. Too soon, Batgirl, Batwoman, and Flamebird slumped helplessly back to the deck, where they lay moaning and motionless at their attackers’ feet.

“I don’t think they can take much more,” Mimi lamented.

“Too bad,” Rae concurred, smiling as she looked down upon the demolished heroines, hands resting on her well-rounded hips. “I was really enjoying the exercise.”

“It was fun, wasn’t it?” Doe rhetorically asked. “I suppose it’s time we tossed these three to the sharks.”

“Not yet,” Legs Parker disagreed, approaching them with Penguin’s umbrella in her hand. “They will sleep with the fishes tonight, but Pengy and I want to take them for a little spin first.” A gesture prompted Doe, Rae, and Mimi’s retreat as colored gas began to billow from the tip of the umbrella. Legs moved closer and compelled each of her intended victims to inhale some of the sinister smoke. She and the felonious phantom girls grinned wickedly as unconsciousness claimed Batgirl, Batwoman, and Flamebird in turn.

Later, Flamebird gasped as she felt her lungs fill and her chest expand. Inhaling more slowly, the pain of that small action eased and she was able to assess her situation. An agonizing, experimental movement told the attractive athlete her arms had both been stretched above her head and bound at the wrists to parallel slats of wood. Similar restraints at her elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, and ankles held her body almost completely immobile. Her legs had also been both outstretched and separated before being restrained. Shifting, she could feel her muscles protest and became acutely aware of a tingling shoulder. ‘I’m lying on my side,’ she thought. ‘The weight has restricted the blood flow to my arm.’ Turning her head, moonlight only enabled her to see the wood to which her limbs were bound. Looking in the opposite direction, she saw additional ropes wound around the wood. These were not part of her restraints. ‘So, I’m not alone. I suppose that’s something!’ Flamebird took in some air and let it out slowly. “Batgirl?” she softly said.

The sound of her name guided Batgirl back to consciousness. She smelled saltwater in the air as her mind reviewed the robbery, the fight, and her capture before turning to the question of what had become of her and her companions after they all lost consciousness. At the moment her only clues were the smell and sounds of water, moonlit darkness, and her memories. Shifting, she quickly realized she had been restrained in the same manner as Flamebird and began to work toward freedom. Pain rewarded her and she closed her eyes as a moan escaped her lips.

Batwoman also moaned, remaining still after a slight twitch prompted waves of anguish to wrack her entire body. A gasp portended her recovery and she ignored the numbness in her limbs as she studied her restraints. Unlike Flamebird, Batwoman had additional ropes encircling the wood on either side of her. ‘I’m between Batgirl and Flamebird,’ she thought. Gritting her teeth, she shifted and realized her bonds held her suspended between the wooden slats to which she had been bound. Her weight rested on three metal slats positioned at her knees, the small of her back, and her shoulders.

“Batgirl, Flamebird, can you hear me?”

Batgirl’s voice seemed to come from beneath the Brunette Bat. “I hear you, Batwoman. Where are we?”

“I’m not certain,” Batwoman quietly replied, “but I have some nasty suspicions.”

Flamebird glanced toward the voices and seemed to be looking down at her mentor when she asked, “How to you feel, Batwoman?”

“I’ve been better,” the senior member of the Distaff Duo admitted.

“What have they done to us?” Flamebird wondered aloud.

“And what will they do next?” Batgirl inquired, voicing the question on everyone’s mind.

“Our fish food is awake,” a female voice delightedly announced.

“Let’s see,” another woman excitedly urged.

Batgirl, Batwoman, and Flamebird blinked as lights blazed illuminating Mimi, who smiled at them from a checkered deck chair at the rail on one side of the boat. Legs Parker led her brothers, Penguin, Rae and Doe on deck beside the enormous, stern-mounted wheel.

As the superheroines focused on their reflections in the cabin windows, they suddenly realized the truth. “Of course!” Batwoman said, “We’ve each been tied between the paddles on the wheel in back of Baby Jane Towser’s boat!”

“Welcome Batgirl; Batwoman; and Flamebird,” Legs Parker said, looking up and smiling at the captives. “I’m delighted you’ve rejoined us. We wanted you to be conscious when we finally wind up your illustrious, crimefighting careers.”

“You ladies are all to be congratulated. Wak, wak, wak!” Penguin said, addressing his young partner and her female companions. “You’ve all done very well.”

“The girls caught our fish food,” Legs said, “but the boys installed them on the wheel.”

“Capital!” Penguin enthused. “I’ll leave the rest to you.”

“Thank you for the opportunity, Mister Penguin,” Rae said.

“So far, dealing with these winged avengers has been a pleasure,” Mimi added, rising. “Of course, we haven’t really gotten started yet.”

“I hope you superheroines are comfortable,” Doe gleefully taunted. “Soon, of course, it won’t matter.”

The phenomenal-looking phantom girls began to laugh and both Legs and the Penguin joined their merriment.

“Great quivering icebergs, Legs!” Penguin exclaimed, upon recovering the power of speech. “It’s time to prepare the sharks’ tasty meal.”

“I agree,” the gorgeous gangster concurred, chuckling. “First, however, our fish food is owed a brief word of explanation. Historically, the wheels on the back or sides of boats like this provide thrust. Modern technology, however, has enabled us to set this one so the boat will remain in place in the water while the wheel ushers the three of you to oblivion.”

“Precisely, Ms. Parker!” Penguin enthused. “Is everything ready?”

“Nearly,” she answered, “boys, take away their toys!” As the girl gangster spoke, she stepped to a lever and engaged the wheel, which drew Batgirl, Batwoman, and Flamebird lower. Batgirl’s body had just rotated beneath the deck upon which the villains all stood when the wheel stopped.

“You bet,” Machine Gun said. He crouched on the deck and grinned down at Batgirl, licking his lips as he eagerly reached down to retrieve her utility belt. “Sorry I won’t be able to keep you around a little longer, Batgirl.”

“Thank goodness for small favors,” the Curved Crusader said, glaring up at the thug. As she spoke Batgirl hardened her muscles and squirmed in her bonds, desperately trying to develop some precious slack.

“It’s your loss, you Bat—”

“Forget her,” Pretty Boy advised, removing Batwoman’s Bat-Kit. “Once this wheel spins all the way around, Batgirl and these other winged wenches will be nothing but bad memories.”

“You both make good points,” Mad Dog thoughtfully said, stepping forward and reaching up to unbuckle Flamebird’s utility belt. His hand slid slowly along her thigh. “It’s too bad we don’t have more time, but I’m sure the sharks are hungry for their dinner.”

“They aren’t the only ones,” Legs Parker observed with a smirk as her brothers stepped back and drank in the sight of the helpless captives.

“Hey!” Mad Dog objected.

“Credit where it’s due,” Pretty Boy concurred.

“It won’t be possible to be nearly as complimentary after we . . . ‘give them a whirl,’” Machine Gun pointed out.

Doe cleared her throat, attracting everyone’s attention as she leaned decoratively against a ladder leading to the upper decks. Beyond the trees lining the shore, Gotham City lit up the sky almost like daylight behind her.

“You guys have more worthwhile pursuits than these soon-to-be-dead do-gooders anyway.”

“Your social agendas can wait! Wak!” Penguin decided aloud. “We have a job to finish.”

“Indeed, Pengy,” Legs Parker said, drawing him to her side with a look and gesturing at the captives, “They’re all yours - with my compliments.”

“Well, my beauties, the tables have obviously turned,” the villain crowed, blowing a smoke ring as he regarded the captives. “Soon after we leave you, it will become painfully apparent we’ve literally taken you for a terminal spin. Wak, wak, wak!”

“You’ll never get away with this, Penguin!” Flamebird cried, bending and twisting in a vain attempt to win her freedom. She glared at the villains as the pain etched on her face hardened her features.

“I beg to differ, my fledgling foe,” Penguin replied, smiling at the suffering sentinel of justice. “You already know you’ve all been bound to the wheel at the back of Baby Jane’s boat. In a minute, we’ll set it to turning very slowly. I doubt very much any of you will be able to hold your breath long enough to keep from drowning when you reach the water, and are inexorably drawn beneath it, none too briefly. Wak, wak, wak!”

“You’ll get it first, Flamebird,” Legs pointed out, grinning, “youth before experience. The most experience, of course, is being saved until last.” The girl gangster’s sparkling eyes came to rest on Batgirl.

“Good always triumphs over evil in the end,” Batwoman declared, beginning to sweat as she struggled against her bonds. “You’ll both regret trying to kill us—eventually!”

“Hardly, Batwoman. The end draws closer with every passing second—for you,” the wily bird crowed. “For Ms. Parker and I, the notoriety of having succeeded where our countless colleagues have repeatedly failed will be incalculably professionally rewarding. Wak, wak, wak! Legs, my dear, start the wheel!”

“Certainly,” the young blonde said, chuckling as she reached to nudge the lever forward, ever so slightly. “One bad turn deserves another.”

“That’s hardly original,” Batgirl remarked. The wheel to which she and her colleagues were bound shuddered and began to inch upward.

“In a little while,” Legs predicted, grinning, “you won’t be around to complain about my lack of originality. Good night, ladies. Buh bye.”

“Farewell, my comely crime-crushers. I’m sure you’ll find your fate quite . . . revolutionary. Wak, wak, wak!” Penguin put an arm around Legs Parker and drew her forward along the deck, toward the cabin. The young blonde extended a hand and waved before disappearing.

“Bye bye,” Pretty Boy said, turning away.

“I’m sorry we can’t stay for your final breath,” Mad Dog lamented, following his brother.

“We’ll be along later to heave your cute carcasses to the sharks,” Machine Gun said, taking his leave in turn.

“I guess we’ll kill the lights,” Doe decided, moving to follow the Parker brothers as she looked after them with an appraising eye. “Fare well—forever,” she added, glancing over her shoulder.

“Enjoy your last round,” Rae said, giggling. “It seems it will be your last turn—ever!”

“Stay dry while you can, girls,” Mimi said, regarding the captives with glittering eyes. “We’ll all be back in awhile to put you all to bed—to the sea bed, that is!” The lights went out as the scantily-clad blonde turned away and hurried after the others. “Wait up!”

Left alone to their fate in virtual darkness, the terrific-looking trio began struggling. Their efforts, however, seemed to do little more than cause additional pain as the paddlewheel went on shuddering, inching inexorably upward and drawing Penguin and the Parkers’ victims toward their breathtaking demise.

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