(Author's Note: This story combines Joan Collins’ Siren character with its polar opposite: a character also portrayed by Ms. Collins, when she did a guest-starring role as tireless social worker Edith Keeler on Star Trek. The City on the Edge of Forever aired on April 6, 1967, 5½ months before Joan made her debut as Lorelei Circe, the Siren.)

A Space Siren

By High C

On a desolate, barren planet with a red sky and patches of thick fog, seven figures suddenly begin to materialize, the energy of their lifeforms being transferred from a spaceship many miles away. As their bodies begin to fill in, it becomes obvious that one is female. The other six are male.

As the men's consciousness reaches their bodies, they immediately turn, almost as one, to face the woman. It's easy to see what has attracted their attention.

She is a beautiful brunette, clad in a shimmering silver tunic, with her left shoulder bare and a strap over her right shoulder. Her dark brown hair is piled into an elaborate bouffant, which instead of climbing high above her beautiful face, seems to float majestically as it stretches from the back of her head.

The men are dressed nearly identically, all wearing black pants. Four of them, however, are dressed in red shirts, while one is clad in a blue shirt. The sixth man, who is wearing a mustard-colored shirt, is the first to speak.

"Miss Keeler," he said, "I sincerely hope we find some people on this planet that are of use to you."

"Jimmy, Jimmy," the woman said as she leaned in to stroke his cheek, "how many times have I told you not to call me by my former name? Of course, I don't bother to call you Captain Kirk, because I now am the one who gives the orders, not you."

"I'm sorry, Siren," he said, hanging his head. "I don't know why I keep making that mistake. Of course, I'll never forget that fateful day when you were transformed."

The Siren smiled as she basked in the long-ago moment. "How utterly selfless it was of that wonderful Dr. McCoy to push me out of the way of that lightning bolt, absorbing the fatal effects himself. Thanks to his good deed, I soaked up just enough electrical energy to bolster my vocal cords, so that I could deliver a hypnotic note that stuns all men into instant submission. I must say, my new life is a lot more fun than being a saintly humanitarian. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Of course, Siren. That's quite logical," stated the man in the blue shirt. He had pointy ears and arched eyebrows.

"And you gentlemen serving me forever is the logical thing to do, is it not, Mr. Spock?" the Siren asked rhetorically.

"Of course, Siren," Spock replied. "There is no way we could derive more pleasure than by gazing at your beauty forever."

"Jimmy, those men in red, do they have anything to say about my beauty?" Siren pointed to the silent sentinels, all of whom were staring at her, speechless.

"They usually don't say much, Siren. I assure you that they're just glad to be in your presence. Normally, they'd all be dead by now."

"Well, there's still a realistic possibility of that happening," Siren said. She then eyed them lasciviously. "But I'm positive I can find something more useful for them to do, later on."

Suddenly, the four redshirts said in unison, "Your wish is our command, Siren."

"You hold on to that thought, boys," Siren said, giggling. While all six men continued to stare at her, the Siren's green eyes suddenly spied a woman approaching.

Maybe this planet isn't barren,’ she thought.

The unfamiliar woman, a brunette beauty in her own right, was dressed in a maroon outfit that looked like an outer-space version of a harem costume.

She tried to approach the Siren, but couldn't get past the dazzling diva's admirers.

"I am Losira. I am for you, Edith Keeler," she said in a stiff, but determined, voice, as she attempted unsuccessfully to penetrate the wall of mesmerized men surrounding the Siren. "I must touch you."

"Well, so does everyone else, my dear," Siren said, eyeing her with a bemused smile. "That doesn't mean it will happen. I do not swing that way, if you catch my drift."

The woman ignored the Siren’s words. Her response was more insistent. “I must touch you!

"My dear," Siren said as she shook her head, "who does your makeup? Combining green and magenta eye shadow isn't very flattering. You would look much better with silver eye shadow, though still not as good as I."

"Of course not," Kirk and Spock said in unison, in a monotone. "No one's beauty compares to the Siren’s."

"You see, Losira," Siren began to advance closer to the woman, "they don't even notice you. The ability to seduce men, I'm afraid, requires a lot more than just being beautiful. You must have attitude, presence, and of course, a melodious, mesmerizing voice. Right, boys?"

"Right, Siren," they answered in unison.

“But-but, I must touch you," Losira said, as she began visibly shaking.

"No, my dear, what you must do is look into my eyes." Siren stared at Losira.

Despite herself, Losira did what she was asked.

"Keep looking into my eyes," Siren said methodically. "My eyes are all you can see, isn't that right?"

Losira nodded her head slowly as her blue eyes began to glaze over.

"Now, Losira, whom do you serve?"

"I serve you, Siren," the woman replied, her voice even stiffer and more robotic than before.

Siren turned away from her latest victim and said, "You see, boys, just my gorgeous gaze itself is enough to hypnotize anyone. I have this power because all of you allow me to have it, isn't that right?"

All the men nod, and so does Losira.

“Losira, how many of your people are on this planet?”

“None, Siren.”

“None?”

“None. All the original colonists are dead. I am an android, created by this outpost’s computer.”

The Siren’s eyebrows shot up. “An android!”

"The computer has identified you as a threat to this outpost. It must be protected until more Kalandans arrive.”

"Now, Losira . . ." Siren began, thinking as she spoke.

"Yes, Siren?"

"There is an android named Losira who is a threat to this outpost. You know what must be done, don't you?"

"Yes, Siren." Losira nodded and tapped her right ear. "Computer," she said, "I need a unit to eradicate an android named Losira."

Within minutes, an identical android approached the first Losira. "I am for Losira," she said, just before touching the other android. Both screamed as they fell to the ground, every circuit in their android bodies disrupted.

Siren surveyed the two defunct robots at her feet and smiled. "That definitely was a fatal error," she said as she laughed. "Let's get back to the ship, boys. I'm sure Scotty and Sulu have finished drawing my bath by now. Seven to beam up. I do think we need to change the name of the ship, don't all of you? Let's work on that . . ."

Siren's wide grin still was visible as the dematerializing process began.


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