NINE DEGREES OF
SUBMISSION
WHICH
ONE ARE YOU?
The Nine Degrees of Submission are important
to understand. Like
any other relationship, there are boundaries.
Think of the straight
people you know. Sometimes the man rules
the roost. Other times
it’s the woman. But most always, one has
a little more power than
the other. It varies from couple to
couple. So why is it that most
gay and lesbian men and women expect our relationships to be
completely 50/50? No other group
is. Naturally, all humans have
it programmed in their heads to be either Dominate or submissive
on some level or another. Obviously, if
you’re reading this, you don’t
fall into the vanilla category, but you may not fall into the most extreme one
either. I urge
to read and understand each level and find where you fit in. Also remember, just because
today you fit into say level 3, after proper training you may find you are
level 7.
1. THE KINKY SENSUALIST - The kinky sensualist is not a trained
sub. There
is no servitude, humiliation or giving up control. This level is just “spiced up
sensuality”. This is the first step beyond
vanilla.
2. PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE – The
Pseudo Submissive Non-Slave is not
even into "playing" slave but into other submissive role-playing such
as school
teacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into
humiliation inter-
action to a large degree.
3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE –
The Pseudo-Submissive Play Slave likes
to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; might, in some cases, like
to
feel one is being "used" to gratify partner. May even really serve
the dominant in
some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the
interaction to a large
degree.
4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE - NON SLAVE –
The True Submissive, Non-Slave really gives up
control (though only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets
her/his main
satisfaction from aspects of submission, other than serving or being used by
the dominant.
Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility.
Doesn't dictate
the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly his/her own
direct pleasure
(rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing dominant).
5.
SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE – The Submissive Play Slave really gives up control
(though only temporarily, within limits) and gets main satisfaction from
serving
dominant – but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May or may not be into
pain.
If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys partner's pleasure, on
which the
submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.
6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT
MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE – This slave
really gives up control (usually within limits). Wants to serve and be enslaved
by the
dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic services;
but
only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time
slave for, say,
several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of
agreed
upon several days). May or may not have long term relationship. Either way, the
"slave" has the final say over when he will serve.
7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL, BUT REAL SLAVE – This slave has an ongoing
commitment
to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant's
property at all times. Wants to obey and please dominant in all aspects of
life,
practical/non-erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments
(e.g. job, kids) but dominant has first pick of the slave's free time. This is a live-in
arrangement.
8. FULL TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL
SLAVE – Within no more that an few broad limits/
requirements, the slave regards himself as existing solely for the Dom's
pleasure/well
being. Slave expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different
from
the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world
the slave's
position is more likely to be fully consensual. Within the S/M world, a full
time slave
"arrangement" is entered into with explicit awareness of the
magnitude of power that
is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with
more
awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific
agreements.
9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS –
This is a common fantasy ideal.
Probably doesn't exist in real life (accept in authoritarian religious cults
and other
situations where the consent is induced by social or economic pressures, and
hence
isn't fully consensual). A few SM purists will insist that you aren't really a
slave unless
you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom, with no limits. This is the most
difficult level to achieve, however; it is the most common fantasy. One would be required
to cut
off contact with his previous live including friends and family.