February 20, 2001



I hope everybody is enjoying the brand new year, millinium, decade, century or however you look at things. Seriously... lets just say its a brand new day and we are all starting over and things never got or will get complicated! Wouldn't that be really nice? Then of course we'd wake right up and be like 'damn... another dream... i still have 10 more minutes before I have to get up.' hehehe...

Valentine's came and went... another day full of couples enjoying a night out on the town. Honestly, it is truly a great day when two people can be so in love that they would WAIT 2 hours for a table instead of cook each other dinner at home. The things we do for our loved ones. Sorry about the lil crack there... I have to up hold my committment to my fellow single folks... you know, the whole bitter thing. I think its sweet but at the same time... get a room. There its outa my system... I promise!!! At times I wish I had someone to talk to and to hold, would be nice to have dinner and swap stories, or to go out and just be happy that you dont have anywhere to go as long as you had that other person. You read the books and see it on tv, your friends have each other, even your dreams betray you... still, life goes on and although it is a lonely journey... far lonelier than mom and dad could have prepared you for, you know you are prepared. Isn't that just the biggest piece of bs you've heard in your life? Makes you think... hum...

So la de da de da de... school is going on right now and oddly enough, im pretty interested in my classes. They are not challenging but they have the unfortunate effect of making me think about things. My Child Grief and Loss class is doing a wonderful job of making me cry in the morning, analyzing gay novels that involve love and coming out and what not in English class look at my life and my relationships differently and it saddens me, Research Methods is helping me work through all these different emotions while teaching me to be a researcher, and my food science and nutrition class is showing me how much junk i've managed to stuff into my body... yay for college right? I totally appreciate this semester, theres a lot of learning going on that people wouldn't normally notice since we are always asleep in class. I think everybody should take more psychology classes, even if it does hurt, you learn a lot about yourself.

I've let the partying down quite a bit lately... when your friends approach you and tell you that you have a drug problem... its a sign that people are interpretting you partying the wrong way. Since they all think im in denial I stopped partying for a month to prove them wrong... Sad huh? What can you do ya know? I still love the music... have a few cds now to just chill with and dance to in my room *im your/private dancer* hahaha! I love dancing... even if I feel like im a dancing fool. Its one of the greatest feelings to be dancing with your eyes closed and the music jamming... then all of the sudden to open them and realize people are watching and smiling. Very kewl...

I've tried to figure out what exactly I want to do with my life. I know I will graduate in two-three years and get everything in motion but its like, where do I go from there? I've thought about some paths, marriage and family counselor, physical therapist, sports psychologist... theres too much to consider you know. So if anyone has any advice, drop me a line!!!!

Now... I think that about covers everything exciting in my life at this point. Not much huh? You should read my journal... hahaha... then you'd be surprised. That one ain't going to be available till I die so you might as well stop wondering! Just a few shout outs to people in no particular order:

So there... ya i know.. I borrowed from you Karin... but your in spain so there =oP hehehe Till next time... Remember not all is what it appears... maybe sometimes you should ask questions.



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