Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
Feb. 20, 2000

[snap] Sometimes, prayers are indeed answered, just like in the movies.
Word comes by letter from 1308 L. Ron Hubbard Way, Los Angeles, CA., that there is a "third series of quotes" (is that quotations?) from "worldwide acclaimed author and humanitarian L. Ron Hubbard."
"These words of wisdom are made available to you as a free public service to use in 'Quote of the Week' sections or as 'fillers' in your newspaper." That is from Personal Public Relations Office Western United States of the Church of Scientology. How thoughtful, not to say useful.
Fillers, as non-newspaper aficionados may not know, are those little items at the bottom of newspaper pages that keep the page from having white space, something editors cannot abide. (I had a paranoid friend who insisted that editors hid all the important news in those very fillers, thinking people wouldn't read them.) When a long article comes up short, a little filler is thrown in. (I recall a famous one at the old Gazette that said in its entirety, "Water chestnuts are not true chestnuts." The headline said the same thing. Another said "Rats do not vomit, experts say," with the headline, of course, bearing those same words. Those were less structured days.) Here is an L. Ron Hubbard filler: "Intelligence is the ability to perceive, pose and resolve problems." Well, duh.
The mailing comes with a "quotes survey," and we eagerly await filling that out.
In other Scientology news, this summer's sci-fi epic, Battlefield Earth, will come with a complete line of toys, including a John Travolta doll, and the toys could mean millions for the controversial church. The Warner Bros. picture stars Travolta, a church member. Somehow, according to Daily Variety, the church struck a deal with Warner to include the toy line, which includes "strike jets," "psycho blasters" and "thunder battletanks" along with 11-inch figures of Travolta as Terl, the villainous warlord.
Travolta promoted the toys at the recent New York Toy Fair.
[snap]

This article was published on Sunday, February 20, 2000

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