The ship taken by the Eesk-Nret was heading towards the Eesk-Nret homeworld. Before long, I received a message on my communications device. It was from earth.
"Andrew, come help us!" was the reply. "Us squirrels are under attack by humans and predators and we don't know how to stop them!"
"Gee, guys," I replied, "I don't know what to say. Reechi, do you have any suggestions?"
"I'm glad you asked that," he answered. "Here, I want you to eat this genetically engineered walnut." He handed me a walnut. I had one of the squirrels on board crack it for me. I ate the nut, and suddenly I went through a metamorphosis. I started growing fur, and a bushy tail, my muscles grew larger, and my clothing turned into what appeared to be a superhero's costume. When my transformation was complete, Reechi said, "Glad to meet you, Squirrelman."
"Cool," I said. "I'm Squirrelman. A superhero! Now I will save the earth from the evil anti-squirrel forces!"
So I jumped for joy, and before I realized it, I had jumped through the hull of the ship. The hole that I made was regenerating behind me, possibly by technology once owned by the former occupants of the ship. I was flying through space without a spacesuit or anything. Being a superhero, I believed I could survive the cold, airless space. Somehow, by instinct, I flew very fast through space and ended up orbiting Earth.
"Well bligh me," I said to myself as my communicator was beeping, "I am receiving a message on my squirromatic com belt!"
"I am the Evil One," was the answer. "The founder of the evil Squirrel Defamation League. Ha ha ha," he laughed evilly. "All squirrels must die!"
"Evil One," I replied, "nothing will stop my super squirromatic powers." I then zoomed down to the surface of the Earth and landed near the evil SDL headquarters. "I'm coming in, Evil One!" I said.
When I entered the headquarters, I was saddened to see five squirrels trapped in a cage with no food or water.
"Aha!" exclaimed the Evil One when he saw me. "There you are, Squirrelman!"
"You will not stop me from rescuing these squirrels," I said.
"You want to rescue my dinner?" he asked. When hearing this, the squirrels yelped in fear of being eaten.
I then opened the cage and all of the squirrels got out before the Evil One could stop me. I left the SDL headquarters and the squirrels followed. "Come back here with my dinner!" yelled the Evil One.
"Come, my squirrelly friends," I said to the squirrels. "We have no time to waste. We must become united against the evil Squirrel Defamation League."
I pressed a button on my com belt to contact the Eesk-Nret. "This is Squirrelman. I believe I require assistance from you," I said through the com signal. "I need to apprehend the Evil One. He founded a very evil league against our friends the squirrels."
"We are on our way," was the reply. I waited a few minutes, and 3 Nret, 2 Eesk, and a flying squirrel materialized on the surface next to the evil headquarters.
"The Evil One of the Squirrel Defamation League wants his dinner," I said to my friends, "but I let them go and they ran far into the woods. He was about to kill and eat five sentient squirrels."
"That's insane!" one of the Nret said.
"What a madman!" said one of the Eesk.
Then the Evil One came out of his headquarters and pointed to the Eesk-Nret and said, "what I originally planned for dinner may be gone, so now I choose you to eat."
Then I took out my supersonic ray-gun and blasted the Evil One against the wall of the building. Then I took some beer and poured it all over him so that he will think he got drunk and passed out when he wakes up.
I then turned around, and I said to the flying squirrel, "what are you doing here? I asked for only Eesk-Nret."
"I would like to volunteer to be your assistant," the squirrel replied. "My name is Scalisti, the genetically engineered flying squirrel."
I thought about having a flying squirrel as a sidekick. "Sure," I replied. "You'd make a great assistant."
Then a woman walked out of the SDL headquarters. "Who are you?" I asked.
"I'm Bibi Gunn, the Evil One's evil squirrel-hating assistant," she replied.
"Well, what the heck do you want?" I asked.
"I want you to become the new anti-squirrel leader now that you defeated the Evil One," she replied.
"Never!" I said. Then I noticed something about the unconcient Evil One. Purplish-green acidic blood was oozing out of him. "He's a Sufelian!" I said. "I knew it all along."
"That's right," said Bibi. "And I am too. Bwahahahaha!" she laughed evilly.
"Make a run for it!" I told the squirrels and Eesk-Nret. "She's evil, I tell ya!"
