The Reluctant Heiress
Our intrepid heroes (Sir Pensius, Jenny, Toby, Chamone, and Edward) finished
interrogating Little Alex, the sluagh assassin they captured last game. They assigned
watch duties so that he would be under observation all night (sluagh have a reputation
as escape artists). Toby was feeling particularly hungry, so Pensius inscribed a
circle on the kitchen floor and told Little Alex to sit in the middle of it. Toby
was informed that he could not eat any part of Little Alex that was inside the circle.
(Secret History #1) Edward spent his time on watch
to try to get Little Alex to move some part of himself out of the circle, but the
captive was, for the most part, too bright to fall for that sort of trick. Toby,
however, had some success intimidating Little Alex to jump up and down inside the
circle. Hunger made Toby crafty: he cast a “Hopscotch” cantrip on Alex when he jumped,
causing Alex to jump much higher and farther than he intended. Alex managed to make
it back inside the circle while Sir Pensius restrained Toby by convincing him that
it would be a very bad idea to bite anything off Little Alex (yet). (Secret History #2)
Little Alex confirmed what the group had learned: Ariel was being held (not necessarily
against her will) by an unseelie satyr tragos in Balboa Park. Little Alex said he
would guide the group to the tragos if they gave him back his chimerical orange squirt
gun, but since the gun squirted real bullets the group was not persuaded to comply
and kept Little Alex at the freehold.
Mel was not at the Temple when the others returned the previous evening. Franklin,
Pensius’s troll liegeman, found a note (reproduced at the end of this zine) from
Mel indicating that he had gone in search of Socrates, his chimerical rat buddy.
He said he would be back by dinner, but had not been seen at the freehold since the
previous day.
The next day was spent considering what to do next. Franklin went in search of Mel,
tracking him through the neighborhood until he lost the trail in the middle of a
block. He later went back out with Chamone to see if there was a faerie trod (chimerical
road) that Mel might have taken, but she did not find one. Sir Pensius asked around
the neighborhood, but at first no one remembered seeing Mel. Sir Pensius did find
out that the owner of a liquor store had had trouble with a pesky rat the day before.
Another shopkeeper remembered seeing Mel get into a car after having a brief conversation
with a very handsome male driver.
Edward and Jenny decided to look for information on the satyr tragos in Balboa Park.
Edward set himself up as a shaman selling authentic Native American treasures. He
was challenged by a mounted police officer, who asked to see his vendor license.
He managed to successfully fuddle the policeman by saying “I am Elmer Fudd, millionaire.
I own a mansion and a yacht”. Even though the policeman had a high banality rating,
Edward’s cantrip worked. Edward also managed to enchant someone else that day – he
successfully seduced a gullible new age floozy who was honored to be initiated in
the secret tribal rituals of the Coyote clan. She never quite understood why this
spiritual awakening had to take place in the back of Edward’s camper, though.
The group reconvened near the end of the day to compare notes. Little Alex again
offered to guide the group to the tragos, but they did not take him up on his offer.
It was agreed that Jenny and Edward would go to find the tragos and scout it out.
Edward would keep watch outside the entrance to the tragos’ freehold, while Jenny
would invite herself in.
Jenny asked for help from Edward: some marijuana to help her make friends among the
satyrs. He reached into his magical backpack and pulled out a half-pound brick of
hashish, prettily gift-wrapped. Jenny concealed a small amount on her person and
kept the rest for later.
Jenny made contact with Vance, an unseelie eshu who hangs out with the tragos, whom
Edward had met earlier in the day in Balboa Park. She introduced herself as Molly,
a name she has used in the past. Accompanied by him, she entered the freehold.
At the gate, a redcap demanded her name and an admission fee. She replied:
I come from the East and I won the West;
I'm the green-eyed girl the boys like best.
I make you horny and I bring you bliss.
Guess my name and I'll give you a kiss!
The redcap said “Huh?”.
The right answer was Mary Jane. Jenny sighed and gave him a piece of hash as the
entry fee.
Jenny and Vance mixed and mingled for awhile. Jenny briefly checked out the music
and dancing but returned to the main area in short order to get herself an introduction
to the leader of the tragos, Elektra.
On being introduced, Jenny asked, "So what deeds of glory won you this position?
Did you dance more wildly than any other, or did you defeat the last ruler of this
tribe in combat?" Elektra laughed and declared, "I fucked my way to the
top!" Then she tells Jenny, "You're pretty good at ass-kissing." Jenny
grinned and said, "Here, it's flattery. It's ass-kissing at court." This
wrings a great laugh from everyone in earshot.
Jenny told Elektra the story about the pooka, nocker
and the sidhe couple. Elektra ordered her own people to gather and offer
their songs and stories to this visitor, and they obeyed, a bit nervous to be put
on the spot.
Jenny couldn’t fail to notice Ariel and Zander, who were engaged in enough Public
Displays of Affection to make even a love-struck sidhe sick. Zander was holding a
bunch of glowing grapes, feeding them to Ariel one by one. Jenny draped herself artistically
across the grass with her head at his lap and opened her mouth, silently begging
for her own taste of his fruit (ahem). He fed her one, and it burned sweetly all
the way down.
"You're wasting them," whined Ariel at Zander. Jenny ignored Ariel's complaint
and said to Zander, "By what secret art have you turned grapes to wine and then
brandy while they still grow on the vine?" He smiled and would not divulge the
secret. Ariel, petulant that her sweetie was paying any attention at all to another
woman, hissed, "Stop it. She's not even as pretty as me!" just loud enough
for Jenny to hear. Jenny turned and, smiling, told Ariel, "There are things
of beauty whose worth is solely in their ornamental value, and yet there are other
things built for hard use, and I know which I esteem the higher." Ariel failed
to grasp that she had just been insulted, but Zander picked up on Jenny's meaning
and looked down her cleavage with new interest.
Jenny leaves the main circle. She is stopped by Erendil, Elektra's sidhe cuddlebunny
for the evening. Erendil insists on taking her aside to speak with her alone, soothing
Elektra's surge of jealousy with sweet words--but Jenny is still nervous.
Erendil (introduced by new permanent player Marc Biagi) is extremely handsome, even
for a sidhe, and seems to know it (well, he is a sidhe, after all). He is accompanied
by a chimerical antelope named Giselle. Erendil wants to know where Jenny is from.
(Secret History #3) He tells her that she looks like
an old friend of his. Erendil demands to know Jenny's true name and purpose, and
she asks what he will give in return as evidence that she should trust him. He gets
arrogant and petulant until Giselle cuts in and tells him to stop giving the eshu
a hard time. He confesses that Jenny reminds him of another eshu he thought dead--his
foster-mother, Kaia. With this confidence, Jenny chooses to trust him a little and
tells him several of her names, and the fact that she came to check on "the
young lady of high degree who ran away from home." "There are those who
want her back in her proper place before the party," says Jenny, "but what
they want and what I want may not be the same thing--and they certainly did not take
into account what the girl wants! But perhaps there is a way to bring her back to
her keeper and fulfill certain bargains, and yet let her escape her duties and thus
frustrate someone whose means and motivations are not of the kindest." Erendil,
smiling thoughtfully, agrees that there may be such a way and asks how to contact
Jenny; she suggests that he do so through Felix at Elysian Fields. (Secret
History #4)
Jenny departs from the freehold without any apparent mishaps and Edward and Jenny
return to the Temple.
1. Jim-as-Pensius cautioned Marc-as-Toby about their sluagh captive,
"Eat him slowly. RTemember what happened last time." Carol added: "You
ate him too fast and you exploded!" Jim shook his head sadly and said, "It
got all over everything."
2. Allison made up the following sequence of jokes called "You
Might Just be a Redcap" (based on the "You might Just be a Redneck"
jokes) with some help from Jim:
If you chase cars, catch them, and eat the hubcaps, you might just be a redcap.
If you mow your lawn, find a car there, and eat it, you just might be a redcap.
If there are more than three dogs under your porch and they all answer to the name 'Dinner", you might just be a redcap.
3. When Erendil left his lover's side to go speak with Jenny,
Janet told Marc, "Roll your Convince -Her-Not-To-Be-Insulted score." "Damn,"
cried Jim, "I knew I should have put points into that!"
4. Marc, in his imperious Sidhe voice, reached a hand towards
Allison and commanded: "Die, please." Allison made a strangled noise and
slumped in her seat. Someone else had to hand him a random number generator...
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