The Aliens!

Whether or not you believe that there may be a technologically superior species

out there somewhere, for a moment let's pretend that there is. One day, they

simply show up, hovering around the planet. They contact the leaders

of several countries saying that they are fleeing persecution by another group of

aliens on their planet and they wish to settle on our planet.

 

We humans, in an attempt to be friendly and avoid being killed, say that this

would be fine. Several million aliens transport themselves to our planet and

set up communities. Many humans make personal contact with these aliens who

communicate their general metaphysical beliefs to them. The humans, faced with

an obviously superior culture, begin to convert to the alien religion in droves.

Their human religions are shed even more quickly because of the aliens' warning

that failure to convert will result in their destruction by the metaphysical force

at the center of the alien religion. This metaphysical force is personified as a

particularly striking alien named "Rolf." Everyone wants to be as much like

Rolf as possible, so the humans try to be as much like the aliens as possible.

 

The aliens treat their males very badly and do not allow them to be leaders of

politics or religion, so the human females who subscribe to the new religion

eliminate the rights of human men, and the men who subscribe to the new

religion accept this, thinking it is beyond their feeble minds to understand. The

aliens also forbid the eating of animals with an exoskeleton--this is an

abomination.

 

The aliens give us some fine products of their superior technology as a token of

appreciation. Our scientists find these items, which are mostly without a

practical purpose, to be almost impossible to reverse-engineer. Still, this

gesture makes most people much more positive about the alien presence.

 

Soon, more spaceships show up at our doorstep. This time, there are twice as

many and the aliens don't ask if the passengers can come to Earth. Most humans

are offended and frightened by this development. The leaders of several major

countries announce that the aliens must stop coming to Earth. The converts to

the alien religion make an effort to portray the newcomers in a positive light and

convince many that the aliens mean no harm.

 

However, several countries decide to enforce their no alien immigration policy

with military force. The militaries of these countries are promptly destroyed and

most of the countries of origin are leveled by the aliens' exotic weaponry. The

aliens then settle in the newly cleared areas.

 

Everyone is shocked and appalled. The public demands immediate eradication of

the alien presence. Minor skirmishes develop on the edges of alien-settled areas.

Several wise rulers realize that the resistance is futile and may result in the

genocide of the human race. They insist on making a treaty with the aliens. The

aliens agree to only settle certain areas in exchange for hospitable treatment by

humans, or "Native Earthlings." As a bonus and gesture of good faith, the

aliens give a large number of the three most popular items that they had

given as gifts in the past to the native earthlings--hover cars, ray guns, and

Alien Happy Juice (a potent, addictive drug). Many more people convert to the

alien religion.

 

The alien spacecraft continue to show up and many more aliens continue to

settle the planet. Soon they have broken their treaties with the nations of Earth by

sending too many aliens to Earth.

 

Several Earth armies, armed with ray guns and riding in hover cars,

attack the aliens invading in their areas. They are no match for the stronger alien

weaponry and big-ass hover cars. They are slaughtered, except for in a few

battles. These victories are punished by the use of massive weapons of

destruction on the civilian populations of those nations.

 

Soon there are as many aliens on Earth as there are humans. Any human not

accepting the dominion of the aliens and their religion is murdered, but this is

rarely necessary as the panicked populace is quite ready to be submissive.

 

Decades and centuries pass, and eventually humans are actually killing other

humans who do not subscribe to the alien religion or do not believe that the

aliens have the right to rule the Earth. The remnants of Earth religions can be

seen in stories and artwork (Rolf is now shown on the cross rather than the

typical rendering of Jesus), but everyone begins to forget what those things

meant. Instances of evil doings by aliens (killing humans, genocidal tendencies)

have been removed from the history records of the time.

 

Eventually, the aliens announce that they and the humans of Earth must defeat

the evil other aliens who live on the alien home planet. Apparently, these other

aliens from the "Old World" are murderous heathens who do not follow Rolf.

Instead, the aliens tell us that the Old World aliens follow the terrible

anti-Rolf, named Uub, who is the king of all that is unholy and evil and rotten

and smelly.

 

*In case you haven't figured it out, this allegory is about the arrival of European people, "the aliens," on the North American continent, and what happened to "the humans," the various nations of people who already lived there(the Delwares, the Shawnees, the Iroquois, etc.)and their religions.

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