[Writer's Note: So people don't get confused, Art in this isn't Art. It's basically his evil twin Kurtz (has to do with when a person Creates a Power, long story). However, they look and sounded alike, and Lucy missed the introduction of Kurtz, so she thought it was Art.]
King Kelric issued a notice in the Royal Haven Gazette that he was going to host a casual Ball honoring the Haven Holiday of Yule at Haven Palace. “There will be a Santa Claus, Real Reindeer, Elves, Candy, Eggnog and fun for all,” the notification stated. “Our goal is to enjoy the pool (no supersoakers, Carlton) and revel in the joy and pleasure of a Haven ‘Green Christmas’.” Gift were purely optional, and standard Haven policies were in effect.
Surprise of all surprises…I got an invitation to this.
It was nice to know Kelric wasn’t holding any grudge against me for quitting, that’s for sure. I was a bit uncertain about this though. Public appearances and me don’t get along in the slightest. Well, the one in Inverness went off all right, I guess…I didn’t do anything wrong, at least. That Haven reception thing was a nightmare. Ugh, not only couldn’t I breathe in that dress, it got plastered over all of Creation. Uck.
Maybe this won’t be so bad. If worst comes to worst, I could always leave early.
So, I went about preparing for this event. I got presents for people, well, some people. People that I knew anyway. I choose a fairly short white sundress and sandals. I put my hair up in a ponytail with a big white bow. Very festive, I thought. I brought a change of clothes—because it was a pool party, so, you know, had to have a swimsuit—and a towel.
Silly me, I also brought a trench coat in case it got cold. Silly, silly me. Of course it was warm in Haven—‘Green Christmas’. I was well received by Kelric’s servants, and handed off my things to them, absently. I supposed there was going to be some sort of present handing out time or somewhat later on. “Gosh,” I asked one of the servants passing by, “I’m not late or anything, am I?”
They assured me that I wasn’t. Matter of fact, once I got in and looked around a bit, I seemed to be one of the first ones there. Well, punctuality is good.
Ian came over to me almost immediately. “Ah…hello Princess; back from the Meck lands. How is Prince Art?” he asked, giving me a curious look. “I hear that he is most… curious…” Then, he gave me a weird smile. This wasn’t boding well, but I wasn’t going to let that get me down today. Nope. Christmas. Cheery happy-happy mood.
“Art’s fine,” I replied cordially. “He’s trying to give me this really big house for some reason.” Don’t babble. “I mean, it’s not like I’ll be there or anything. Gonna be busy with work, as soon as I can get some help to sort things out…” Stop. Good.
“Nimue,” he called out, “I know you met our star, Lucy.”
I ignored him and called out to Nimue, smiling at her, “Hi, Nimue! You look nice…Merry Christmas!” She did look nice, with some sort of anime cat shirt in a soft purple, and white trousers. She was wearing shades. She waved back and started to make her way over here. In the meanwhile, Lord Badger approached with an….interesting lady, dressed like a Christmas tree. I kid you not; Christmas tree.
“Lucy,” said Badger, “this is Matilda. She is a film and television celebrity too.” Too? As in also? Oh, god…just ignore it and maybe it’ll go away. “Matti, meet Lucy. Lucy was Art’s guest for a little while.”
People started to stare at us…at me. I shifted around uncomfortably, but tried to put my best face on. I gave Matilda a smallish wave, “Hi. Nice to meet you.” Hey, so far, so good. “And I don’t get why people are making a big deal about me staying in Imperial Amerika,” I continued on blithely, turning towards Ian again. “It’s not like Art and I are having sex or getting married or anything. He offered me a job that I wanted and I took it.”
“You might as well hop in the sack with him, dearie,” said a passing black wolf, it’s fur sun-bleached. “That’s what they’re going to believe anyway. For such a collection of prudes, Haven has an unhealthy obsession with who they think is sleeping with whom—and the details they imagine are more lurid than the reality.”
“Bah,” I waved off the comment, sniffing a bit. “People are going to say what they want to say anyway; gossip doesn’t bother me.” Much. “I just get a bit put out of sorts when people,” and here I glared at Ian, “say that I’m screwing Art to get a job, or that that’s why I left Haven. Jeez, really, now, that’s kind of silly.”
Ian interrupted before the wolf could reply, “I am certain that you made the best choice possible.” He rolled his eyes slightly, “Art’s girls do very well in their profession.” There was a slight pause, “Was the house he gave you 20 or 30 rooms?”
I was going to be nice today, dammit, whether I liked it or not. Mustering every ounce of my self-control, I beamed at Ian, and laughed a little. “Oh, you’re such a fuddy-duddy,” I beamed. If I could wipe that look off his face, I would. Nice. Calm. Calm is good. “It was only twenty rooms, and probably most of them will be filled with books, once I get around to moving my library.” I shrugged at him, “I would have refused outright, but, well, I need storage space and it was a kind gesture.”
Ian rewarded my cheerfulness by ignoring me and turning to Nimue as she came to a stop next to him. “Lord Holland, are we really going swimming later?”
I could have almost kissed Nimue because Ian looked horribly uncomfortable. Very selfish thought of mine, but I couldn’t help it. Plus, pressure was off of me for the moment. “I do not go swimming very often,” he admitted. “However, I am sure you will go swimming if you wish. Carlton definitely will have some antics by the pool.” I smiled to myself. There was one reason to stick around, for a while anyway. “Jason no doubt. Kelric may, depending on if he can shapechange himself to look better than everyone else without a shirt.”
Nimue smiled at him, “I feel fairly safe that Uncle Kelric should be able to manage that. Would you like another drink, Lord Holland?” Oh, all the gods bless her, please? Pretty please? I sent her a mental ‘thank you’, and relaxed again. Attention definitely off me, so I’d just slip away and find a drink maybe.
“You better not be having sex with Art, my dear,” Matilda suddenly spoke up. “If you even consider it, I think you might have to answer to LJ.” I bristled slightly, and then blinked in confusion. She shook her head, “I wouldn’t envy you. In fact, it might be wise if you move out before she even finds out. LJ doesn’t like people getting in her way.”
“Who’s LJ?” I asked, confused. Matti had already turned away from me and was talking to someone else before I finished asking my question. Oh, well. I sniffed again, feeling a sneeze coming on.
“You okay, dearie?” the wolf asked. “All that sniffing, you’re not going to be turning the waterworks on, are you? I’d feel rotten.” A slight pause, then she continued, “Really. I would. Despite the reputation, we’re not all completely insensitive slobs.”
“No, no, I’m not going to start crying,” I assured the wolf, flushing a little. “Sort of, uh, well…” What did Carl say? Blame it on the pepper? Uh… “…have allergies.” I blushed a bit more and braced myself for an accusation of being a Jeddi-lover.
“How unusual,” the wolf commented. She moved back several paces from me. “Is this better?”
I smiled. See? Good karma coming back here for being nice to Ian. “Well, thank you,” I said. “It’ll just take maybe another ten-fifteen minutes before the medication takes effect, but I do appreciate that.” My smile turned a little sheepish, “It’s all psychosomatic anyway.”
The wolf sat down and scratched an ear, “So, you’re not really allergic, but because you think you are, you have allergies?” The wolf sounded and looked puzzled before a wicked gleam stole into her eye, “I wonder what kind of fit they’d have if I claimed to be allergic to Imperial Amerika?”
“I heard that Reinhard had to be talked out of putting a bullet into you,” Lord Badger said to the wolf. “Then again, not all black wolves sell out to Imperial Amerika.”
The wolf turned a frosty eye to Badger, “Believe half of what you read, and none of what you hear, Lord Bandicoot. All serve the Great Wolf in the sky in their own way.”
“Why Lord Badger,” a short redheaded woman exclaimed in delight. I knew her. Oh, yes. Breyd. Hrmph. This was just getting better and better. “You’re as much of a diplomat as I am!”
“Right, er,” I said, thinking that it was past due to get out from around these people, “I think I’m feeling better anyway.” I glanced back and forth from the wolf to Badger and back again, “Thank you for your concern.”
“You might wish to consider carrying around antihistamines then,” Nimue said, offering me a handkerchief. “Trinity is, if anything, even more full of wolves than Haven. At least they publicly display them more.”
“No, no,” I replied, refusing the offer. “I already took some. It just takes a while to kick in.” I gave her a quick smile, “Thanks, though.”
Nimue graced me with a return smile, “You’re quite welcome. How is the new job with Art going? I haven’t really seen you very much since you left Haven. I never really did understand entirely why…”
Et tu, Nimue?
“Politics isn’t my strong suit, and I’d make a frightfully bad ambassador, I think,” I replied bluntly, trying not to sneeze. “The job is going to go well, I think. Going to be some exciting fieldwork. It’ll probably be started after the holidays in earnest. We need some time to set up a staff and the like, as well as a processing library for the data coming in, and I need to get my archives filed away as well.” I smiled, “Besides, who wants to work at Christmas anyway?”
Nimue nodded to me, smiling still, “I’ll ask the international community to avoid making a crisis while the holidays are on.” Well, that would be nice. “I do hope that you’ll be managing to help people like you seemed to want to. Fieldwork sounds good as well. I’d hate to think of you stashed in a stuffy laboratory somewhere…” That was a nice thought, and she did sound concerned, but I could tell she’d never be a scientist. Ever.
“I like the lab equally as much as fieldwork,” I replied cheerily. “I think I almost prefer it.”
I must have started to bore her to tears because she started looking around at this point. So, quietly, I slipped away to a quiet corner and heaved a sigh of relief. Ok. That wasn’t so bad, so far. Maybe if I just avoid Lord Badger the entire time it won’t be so bad. Good, cheery thought. Hold onto it.
I watched a few more dignitaries arrive, savoring the silence. I should have just stayed in ImA, really. Lord knows I’d be more comfortable there, doing what I wanted to be doing instead of trying to avoid people. Maybe I was just hanging around the wrong people—everyone here seemed to be interested in gossip rather than anything concrete. Blah.
Then, there was a shimmer of Trump out a little ways (from my vantage point, I had a good view of the people showing up) and a honest-to-gosh horseless carriage came through, bright fire engine red. It was driven by Carl, of course, decked out like Santa in the Bahamas. I waved and started to make my way over to him, but he was soon surrounded by people, greeting and meeting and all that. Moira arrived shortly after him, in a white sleigh, and that killed my desire to head that direction at all. I retreated again and considered getting a drink.
This was going to be a long day. God, I could sit here and moan and groan all day…all of it coming back to the same thing—why did I ever come to this thing? Self-isolation seemed ideal at the moment. Poke my nose in a book and ignore the rest of bloody Creation. No…no…I was going to have a good time here. That’s why I came. Christmas and all. Good holiday cheer. I looked around again. Christmas just didn’t seem right without snow. Course, I was still miffed over that stupid commercial too, and no matter what someone kept bringing it up, again and again and again. I sighed. Calm is good. Happy, joyful thoughts.
Then, I saw a familiar face. Claudine was here…my mum! I started to get excited over that, fully planning on going over and saying hello…until I saw what she was wearing. It was…hideous. It was a green leotard covered in leaves. Wrapped around here were tinsel and blinking Christmas lights. Capping it all off were some weird things on her head. I think they were supposed to be angels.
Silly me; I thought I’d passed the time when one’s parents are supposed to embarrass them. Not only that, but her husband was dressed in a red suit and black shirt, something so overly clichéd for the Devil I winced seeing it. They clashed. It hurt my eyes, and I slunk to the back of the party.
I quietly tried to keep an even disposition when Lord Handley tracked me down. He was a nice enough sort—hadn’t uttered any sort of gossip about me that I’d heard (definite plus in my book) and wasn’t a bad dancer. He had in tow with him a dark, swarthy chap about my height. He was dressed very…unusually, in a cape of feathers and silk. Handsome enough, and looked to be in good shape, but very odd nevertheless.
“This is Princess Lucy,” Handley said to the gent. To me, “Prince Gucometz of House Sand.”
Smile. I smiled, “Nice to meet you. I would say that I’ve heard a lot about you, but, well, I haven’t.” Hey, I could be pleasant. Bravo for me.
He returned my smile. “That is probably a good thing,” he replied.” I have my detractors. Fortunately, King Kelric seems happy to tolerate my presence, otherwise I would not have the opportunity to meet you and all these wonderful people.”
“Tolerate your presence?” I asked. Oops. Big mouth. Why couldn’t you have asked a neutral question, like, uh, ‘how do you like the dip’ or something?
Luckily, he ignored the question as he was regarding me curiously. “I understand you may be related to Colmar,” he said. “He and I have worked together, on occasion.”
I frowned, “Hrm. I don’t know. That’s the rumor anyway.” I smiled, shrugging off the question, “I sent him a letter, uh, announcing my existence some time ago, but I haven’t heard back since.”
“Then it is almost certainly true,” Gucometz commented.
I blinked. Uh, right. Denying my existence? Or maybe he hadn’t gotten around to picking up his mail yet. I smiled, focusing a little more on the conversation, “Oh, nice to meet you and all. I did say that, right?”
“You did,” he replied with a sly smile, “but it was good of you to repeat it. I don’t hear it said that often.”
I liked him. Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t ask for my damn autograph or something. “Oh, well, then,” I said, laughing a little, “I’d say it a third time, but I don’t want to sound like a complete bimbo.”
He chuckled, “As if that would be possible, Princess. Now tell me how life is treating you. Of course, I read the papers, but that does not necessarily make on better informed.”
I was liking him more and more. He knew and didn’t ask about it. Huzzah! “Life’s treating me pretty well, I think,” I responded, taking a moment to mentally thank him. “Of course, even when it’s bad it’s good, you know, long as you’re still alive and all.”
“I’m sure you can strive for better than mere existence. I understand you are a scholar. Has your research been rewarding?” Gucometz enquired.
Favorite subject. He was definitely getting a Christmas card every year from now on. “Yes, I am,” I replied, smiling hugely. “I’ve just barely gotten started on my project over in the Meck lands, but I think that it should bring some interesting results and conclusions—well, you know, if my theories are correct anyway. It should be immensely rewarding once done, though I think that’ll take a long, long, long time.”
I softened my smile a little, “What about you? How do you fill your time?”
He shrugged, “Running a large colonial empire requires some effort. I also have a few other interests on Earth Prime that keep me busy. It is pleasant to be one’s own boss, though.”
I nodded in agreement, “That it is. Does everyone in this family have to run some sort of large empire then? Is it a requirement upon joining?” It was a joke, but not really. It seemed like everyone did, after all.
“Not at all,” Gucometz replied evenly. “It wasn’t that long ago I was a little noticed official in Amber. If I so choose, no doubt I could find something similar elsewhere. Unfortunately, I have unfinished business that requires my attention. You are fortunate in that you can concentrate on your studies.”
“Oh, well, I won’t ask,” I replied amiably. Learned that lesson. “And yes, I think I am lucky. So far, anyway, with that. Nice to know that Kelric isn’t holding any grudges about me quitting and all.”
"Better to quit honorably than soldier on in a post you found objectionable," Gucometz noted, "and Haven is blessed with a most benign monarch. I suspect Amber's king might have seen things somewhat differently." He then smiled. "Which is why I too am here, not there."
I nodded, “I’ve read some awful things in the paper about what’s happening in Amber. I know that the Haven press is…skewed slightly…but, um, when you hear the same things in all sorts of places, it tends to lend credibility about what you’ve heard.” I stopped there, checking a sigh, “I’m sure some of it is exaggerated, but if even one tenth of what I hear is true, then, well, just as well that I’m not there either.” I’d be dead, flat out. There would be no way I could stand for those executions, even without knowing the reason behind them. Awful, awful thing.
“It’ll be more than a tenth true,” he assured me. “There is always barbarity of some form or another in Amber. Some people think it is the only way to please their king.”
“That’s terrible,” I murmured, starting to feel melancholy again. I shook my head, “Can we change the subject to something more pleasant? It is the holidays after all.”
"Ah yes, sorry." Gucometz replied, not offended. "It is easy to forget. Perhaps I am too somber a guest to be occupying your time. Levity is not my strong point." He glanced around the room "I am trying to learn," he said with apparent seriousness. "Have a pleasant evening," he added, before taking his leave. Well, ok, guess I did offend him. Drat.
"Oh, well, alright," I said as cheerily as I could muster. "It was nice meeting you. Merry Christmas."
I sighed to myself. Alone again, and the conversation ended on a weird kinda sad note. Not doing great for my mood, but, I resolved to do better. Happy is the word for today.
I was interrupted in bolstering my confidence and ‘happy happy joy joy’ attitude by Badger, who had along with him Breyd. She was dressed very casually in blue jeans and t-shirt. She didn’t even have shoes on. Talk about comfort.
“Hello, Lucy,” Badger said to me, almost purring. I think he was expecting a catfight or something. “This is the Amber Ambassador, Princess Breyd of Amber. Breyd, Princess Lucy.”
“We’ve met before,” I said politely, trying not to let my distaste of her show too much. “I think, ah, you were with that tall gal—Alex or Alexis—and Sean.”
“And Unkerr,” Breyd reminded me cheerfully. “But he wasn’t with anybody. He was simply there.”
“Yuck,” I grimaced. “I had almost repressed that memory.”
“I wish I could. The tick kissed my hand. I had to lave it in antiseptic for weeks afterwards in case it festered on me,” Breyd griped, and understandably so. “I hear you’re a Mecklenberg these days.”
I was too busy trying to clear the thought of Unkerr from my head to respond to the second part of her statement right away. “Yuck, whew, you’re full of cheery thoughts for the holiday season, aren’t you?”
“Always,” Breyd retorted, smirking.
I shook my head, trying to forget about Unkerr. “A Meck…? No, jeez, what do the rumors have now, that I’m married and popped out five kids already?” I frowned, “Art and I are just friends right now; I went to Imperial Amerika to do some research. On the nature of reality. Well, sort of; it’s kinda hard to explain.”
“In some lab in Haven or Dealunde, you probably do have at least five by now,” a strangely familiar voice uttered. I glanced over surreptitiously and Art was there, the one who spoke. I didn’t like the look on his face, and turned back to Breyd, pretending that I didn’t hear him. That was…creepy.
”I’ll say. Reality is rather subjective,” Breyd noted darkly.
“Just one reason among many why it’s hard to explain,” I agreed, concentrating on the conversation.
“I’d offer to collaborate, but frankly Mecklenbergs and I get along like nitro and glycerin. They like to be authoritarian and I’m irreverent,” Breyd said, sounding morbidly cheerful about it.
“What have you been up to lately?” I asked. Without a pause, I asked another question on the heels of that, “Oh, and how’s Amber? I don’t think I ever got around to actually asking about it last time I saw you.”
”I can’t see why you’d bother,” Breyd replied. “I’d only give you my biased perspective on it anyway…but that loops around to reality being subjective. It’s still there. Oberon is still on the throne, unless it’s some shapechanger pretending to be him. Nobody’s gained clear headway in the usual toadying. Not that they would with Oberon anyway. He’s far too cagey.”
“Are you always so cynical?” I asked, frowning at her. “I seem to remember you were all grumbly last time I met you too. Lighten up, it’s Christmas.”
Pot. Kettle. Black.
Breyd grinned, “Not everyone can afford to ignore what a terrible place reality is because they’re focusing on scientifically exploring the nature of it, Lucy.” She saluted me with her drink, “Merry Christmas.”
I blinked in a bit of surprise. What could have happened to her to make her think that way? As many horrors there were, there were also things so beautiful that it’d make your heart break to see it. “Reality isn’t a terrible place,” I said, with sympathy. “How sad for you if you think so.”
“Try getting shot once or twice while you’re trying to do the best for all possible worlds. See how wonderful you find reality after that,” Breyd advised, being snippity about it. “You’re only starting to get irritated now at all the assumptions people make about you. Give it a while. Have people make a lot of assumptions about your basic nature as a person and what you want from life simple based on what you look like.” I frowned at her. That was what the Havenites were doing—still don’t know where they got that ‘superstar model’ stuff from. “It would be interesting to see how cheerful your outlook would remain if you’d been subject to a lifetime of it.” She gave me a careful, considering look over the rim of her glass as she drank.
I shook my head. “You’re doing the same thing, you know,” I pointed out. “Making generalizations about me when you don’t hardly know me from Eve. How do you know that I haven’t been in similar situations that you have? Or had similar experiences?” I paused, considering some of the experiences I had went through. I checked a sigh, “And I’m not terribly irritated—well, a little bit, to be honest—but mostly not irritated at the assumptions. What is irritating is that I practically told Ian they’d spread that around, to save face. Terribly foolish of me to almost give permission. Gah.” I did sigh here; hindsight is always twenty twenty, “Teach me to dress so that my boobs are almost falling out.”
Breyd smiled and shook her head, “Because as soon as you looked like a point of contention, I did a little checking around. And I’ve been watching the way you handle yourself tonight. It’s not so much an assumption as an observation, a conclusion based from a few facts…and you’ll note that I refrain from making any conclusive conclusions on your true essential nature based on them.”
I was beginning to warm up to her. “So, what did you find out?” I asked, curious. "And you are making assumptions still...assuming that I would have your world-view if I had lived your life. Although the nature vs. nurture argument hasn't really been put to rest in a lot of psychologist's minds, most agree that both apply to any forming persona, but to what degree is the question. It's a pointless argument anyway, though, because, well, no matter what I can't exactly duplicate your life experiences no more than you could mine."
Breyd rolled her eyes, "Precisely, and you can't know exactly what I'm thinking or what impressions I've formed. It's funny how everybody assumes I'm making assumptions. I'm not saying if you'd lived my life, you'd be exactly like me, but there would be enough evolutionary pressure to change in some salient ways, that the probability of similarities emerging is not beyond the likely realm of possibility." She paused to take a sip of her drink.
Then, she smiled. "Everybody starts off from their own personal view of the world. We all have preferences and attachments that will color our choices; but we don't have to only exist within those preferences and perspectives. After all, it's not our preferences or perspectives that limit us, but our attachment to them."
I listened to her, finding it to be an interesting perspective, and similar to my own. Not identical, but similar. “Interesting,” I said. “What did you find out again? I rather missed it, I think.”
“I didn’t mention,” Breyd replies, sounding…pleased. I think I passed some sort of test but I wasn’t quite sure. She was mercurial. I always thought that was a poor expression for someone who changes a lot, because it’s not an apt one. Mercury changes shape to conform to it’s surroundings, but the essence of it doesn’t change.
“Oh, drat,” I commented with a smile. “I was rather hoping to hear what other gossip has been put about, and why would you think I’d be a point of contention anyway? I don’t even live in Haven any longer, so it’s not like we’d run into each other often enough for you to even consider me a rival in any way.”
She laughed, a pleasant sound. “I hadn’t considered you a rival, Lucy. As for gossip, I’ve learned never to care very much how people think of me…”
My smile grew a little, “Ha, well, that’s better than you being all broody. I don’t care much what most people think either, unless it’s someone whom I respect. And I was just wondering why you used the phrase ‘point of contention’.” Whew. Babble much? Still, this was turning out to be not as bad as I was fearing. I felt more relaxed having had a place to channel some of my nervous energy. “Now, should we go find ourselves a drink or three?”
“According to my count,” Breyd said, “you’re well behind. I’ll have another Harvey Headbanger thingy…no fruit bits. Adulterates the alcohol. You know, this bloody party’s looking up a bit.” Her smile turned a bit wicked.
I nodded with her, “I think I am a bit behind you, but if I started drinking anywhere close to heavily this early, someone would have to pour me into bed.” I colored a little bit, thinking of who would volunteer for that one. Smile. “But I suppose I could always cut the scene early if I get too plastered.” I waved over a waiter and got a scotch.
“Misspent youth,” Breyd replied, grinning. “Part of the reason I’m so skinny. Well, the arsenic poisoning didn’t help very much with appetite either. I’m sort of hoping I might be excused from swimming if I’m too drunk. I really don’t want to show my narrow behind in a bathing suit…” She made a face, “The things I do for my country…”
I took a drink, then laughed a bit. “Yes, well, we all must make sacrifices at some point. I don’t think they’ll make you swim, though.”
“You might not want to stand too close to me, by the by,” Breyd observed. “I’m one of the faces the Mecklenbergs like to show during their five-minute hate sessions before ‘Good Morning, Amerika’.” She was grinning again, finding that humorous. She did have a point though. I considered it for a moment, then shrugged it off.
“So, if they don’t like it, I’ll go somewhere else,” I replied, totally unconcerned. “No one dictates who I can and can’t talk to.”
She had a final grin for me before we parted ways. This was looking up. I’ll just have a couple of drinks and loosen up a little bit before doing any more socializing. Looking around the party, I sighed to myself and rubbed my elbow. I finished my drink and gave the empty glass to a passing waiter.
Good thing I’d had a drink too, Handley was dragging another person over to meet me. He was tall, and kinda built, had the aristocratic features I was starting to associate with the Mecks. “This is Princess Lucy,” Lord Handley said once they arrived. “She works for Art.” He turned slightly to indicate the gent, “This is Reinhard Junior, he is the military commander in New Verona for us, and also is Art’s younger brother.”
“And Crown Prince of Trinity,” Reinhard smiled. “Nice to meet you.”
Uh. Uh oh.
“Oh,” I said intelligently. “Well, hi.” Short, but brilliant. Really.
“Why are you nervous? I know you’re not sleeping with Art, and he is liking your research ideas,” he smiled. That was another thing that family had in common—they all smiled. A lot.
Still, it was nice to know I wasn’t going to be denounced as the tart that stole Art away or something silly like that. “Ok,” I replied, smiling back to him, “Good. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to throw that in my face, or start asking all sorts of weird questions, or call me a hussy or something.”
“Most people in Trinity wouldn’t call you anything but smart,” he told me, smiling still. “For moving up in the job market and into a much better job. Art is my favorite brother after all, so maybe we will be friends too, and no one will think we’re sleeping together; my wife would be annoyed. No one crosses her when she’s annoyed.”
“Oh?” I asked, trying not to sound like…ah…nervous again. “Thanks for the compliments. And your wife sounds like she’s very, hmm, possessive.”
“Very, but she is also extremely nice,” Reinhard replied. “I’ve known her all my life.”
“I don’t recall the Royal Wedding,” noted Lord Handley who was standing there listening to us. “Who is the girl and what’s her status in the Almanach di Swayville?”
The Meck sighed, like he was getting annoyed. “She is one hundred percent of Houses Bleys and Hendrake. There was a small wedding, and her name is Betty. She is Dad’s executive assistant.”
“Always good to know the person you’re going to settle down with,” I observed. “So, other than possessive and nice, what’s she’s like?”
“She is a pretty kick ass wizard, and Dad’s executive assistant,” he replied, turning back to me from Lord Handley. “When you go through Trinity, you should say hi to her at the working palace. You would like her.”
“I’ll have to do that,” I agreed.
Handley then took Reinhard Junior to meet some other people. I sighed in a bit of relief. He was nice enough, but that was a bit nerve-wracking. I kept expecting, well, something, I guess. Still, not too bad. But then, of course the Mecks were going to say nice things to me. I mean, they wouldn’t want to insult Art because he’s family, and I was just sort of dragging on his coat tails. I sighed again.
“Prince Nicolo of Amber,” Ian said from the right side of me. I turned around to face him and a darkly handsome man. “May I present to you, Princess Lucy.” Ian paused slightly as the other man, Nicolo, looked me over. “Lucy is Merlin’s granddaughter by Colmar Taltos.”
I blinked. Oh, bloody hell. Merlin was the one that made out with Moira in the reception line at that deal a while ago. “Oh, yes, I suppose I am,” I really hadn’t considered that before. Instead of dwelling on that, I turned to Nicolo and offered a hand to him, “Uh, pleased to meet you.”
“Where did they dig you up?” he blurted, just about laughing. “Next thing they’re going to find Martin’s great grand nephew by Marlin Perkins. No offense, of course. It’s just that the umpteenth generation doesn’t usually get to eat at the grown-up table.”
I blinked, taken aback at that, then I shrugged. “Just wandered in,” I told him, not quite knowing how to take all that. Oh…wait… I blinked again, “Oh, it’s the bow, isn’t it?” I gestured vaguely to my ponytail. “I thought it made me look a bit young, but well, festive and all.”
“It makes you look like a statutory rape charge waiting to happen, kid,” he replied crassly. “Get rid of it. And for god’s sake, have a drink.”
I flushed and started to pull the bow out. He had a point about it, and the drink. Still, there could have been a better way to come out and say it. I finally worked it out, and shook my hair out. Great, frumpy and messed up and blushing. So not my day today.
Lord Badger broke out in laughter as I was pulling the bow out. When he could talk, he said, “That is so funny. We need to get her back into more adult clothes and have her do another ad for Haven.”
That did it. My blush became even more red, but I was pissed this time. I whipped around to him, intent on saying something scathing to him. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of anything. He just kept laughing, big brays of laughter. Ah, waiter. Drink. I snatched up a random drink from the waiter’s tray and tossed it in his face.
Uh. Oops. I took a step back. Oh, well, too late now. I turned back to Nicolo. “You were right,” I snapped. “A drink was just the thing.”
Badger kept laughing. “This is good,” he guffawed. “She is turning into a real Mecklenberg chick. Hell, if she gets fat she can get a job slinging beer in Bombay’s for Art and Reinhard.”
Nimue must have been close by for some reason, because she hurried over to the gathering. She produced a napkin from somewhere and started dabbing Lord Badger off while I glared. She glanced at me, frowning slightly. I frowned back. Don’t you even say anything. Next insult from anyone, and I swear I would smack them. “Please, Lord Badger, this is Yuletide and these people are King Kelric’s guests,” she said mildly. “Unfortunately, Lucretia does not seem to think that being in a Haven advertisement is an honor, which is a shame because she looked very pretty.”
I got another drink, not caring what it was, and downed about half of it. “Thank you, Nimue,” I said stiffly.
Nimue paused in cleaning off Lord Badger to smile at me. “It is true. You looked very lovely. No wonder Art’s attracted to you.” She smiled, meaning it as an honest compliment.
“Right,” I muttered, draining my drink. Art’s attracted to me. Right. “Thanks,” I said tersely, looking from her to Badger, then to Nicolo. “If you would excuse me, I’m going to go, uh, mingle.” I stalked off before anyone could reply, and claimed a spot at the bar.
Bloody flipping hell. I got a drink, and fumed. These bloody Havenites…Badger…Ian…and Nimue now too. I ground my teeth, scowling at anyone who came near me. Sigh. What happened to having a good time no matter what? God, that stupid commercial… I’m not normally a very violent person, but I think that if I could get my hands on the person responsible for that thing, I’d throttle them. They made it without my permission and then expected me to be happy about it. Bloody invasive, poking, snooping, gossiping…bloody Havenites. Two things saved this from being a total disaster though. One, LJ wasn’t here. I had finally remembered who she was…she was that red-haired girl who pawed Art at the USO thing. If she would have been here, then I would have left straightaway. Second, the badgering (ha-ha, joke. Funny funny) was confined to the Havenites only. I think that if everyone were doing that, I would have exploded into a real fury. Oh, and a third point, Kelric wasn’t either. Point in his favor, though I wish he’d keep his subjects away from me.
An hour and six drinks later, I was feeling almost mellow again. Hard to stay mad when you’re buzzed a bit. My name was called. Oh, there was a Santa Claus. Oh, joy. I put on my best smile, which was a lot easier to do now. I was called up to receive a present from Santa. Ok, I can deal with that. I did notice the cameras however, and resolved not to do anything to mess this up, otherwise Kelric might have tossed me out.
My present was (drum roll please) a full portrait of Art, wearing his Kaiser’s uniform, complete with spiked helmet. How I maintained my smile, I will never know, even though I was just about seeing red. “Wow,” I said, looking at it. “Thanks.”
Waiter passed me. Handy things those. Simply must get one for the house. I got a drink and increased the wattage on my smile, “Seriously. Thank you. It was a very, er, um…” I pulled a Carl and looked at the ceiling racking my brain for a term that wouldn’t offend, “…interesting gift.”
I handed the bloody thing over to a servant first chance I could get and retreated back to the bar to fume again. Let me tell you this, dearest diary, I like Art. I like him a lot. He’s a good-hearted guy, mostly. Kinda big and intimidating at times, but he’s always been wonderful to me. He was interested in dating me too, which I found very flattering. But this stupid, bloody, damned Haven gossip machine! Gah. It was enough to tear my hair out. Not only did they violate my privacy with that stupid commercial—if they would have even warned me, I would have been better prepared for all this rot—but they kept throwing it in my face at every chance. As it was…that stupid commercial and all the rumors that I was sleeping with Art…it was getting too much. I was almost to the point of “Well, might as well screw him then and get it over with”. Somehow, I didn’t think Art would appreciate that if he knew the reasons behind it. All this pressure wasn’t conducive to building a relationship in the first place. And then…I’d hear things about the Mecks. Bad things. That doesn’t even begin to cover what I heard. And it turned my stomach.
You cannot imagine how hard it is to balance the man I was starting to get to know with the not-rumors of horrible things his family have done. It wasn’t only that, either. All the Mecks were overly nice to me. I mean…way nice. It was eerie, and it made me skittish, like they were putting on their best faces for me, trying too hard to convince me of something. I couldn’t wait to head off into deep shadow and ignore everything again.
And then, there was Carl, in whom I was interested. However, the last couple times I saw him it was either in a courtly type function where we didn't have a chance to talk, what with the whole Abyss hag-wanna be interrupting the luncheon afterwards, or ignoring me, if today here was any indication. Well, maybe I shouldn't say that, but I had made my card pretty clear here thanks to my foul spirit and he didn't come over to say hi as of yet. Of course, that might have been because I was in a foul mood. Then, well, it might have looked bad too when I went flouncing off to ImA after quitting Haven. Might as well be honest about it; it did look bad. Carl had offered me a job too, doing about the same thing, and I chose ImA over Inverness. It wasn't that...I wanted to do both, but I never did seem to get around to talking to Carl about it, and I really should have. Art was so...well, excited over what I wanted to do in ImA, and I was excited about it too. That soaked up all my time, between getting things settled, getting assistants, plotting out the course... Sigh. Putting things in that light, I'm not surprised Carl didn't come over to talk to me. I don't think I would have either.
Life was so much simpler before learning about my Amber heritage.
Oh, more arrivals. Yay. Good-looking gent and lady in green. At least she didn’t look like a tree. Sigh. Drink. That meant I’d have to meet more people, I bet.
It did too.
Ian led me over (over protest) to meet the Lady. Strangely, he didn’t introduce me to her, but I’d caught her name anyway because of all the attention people paid to her. It was Jasra, the infamous Jasra that Carl had warned Laszlo and I about at the USO thing. Wonderful.
I also noticed that Ian stepped back. I gave him a glare and then turned back to Jasra, wanting to get this over with.
“I heard you threw a scene because of the fact that Haven tourism took the news clip and put it in an ad,” she launched into me. I crossed my arms, the meager smile I had on my face disappearing. “What a silly girl you are,” she said, waggling her finger at me. I scowled. “You quit Haven and became one of Arthur’s many girlfriends. How childish and immature. The tourist agencies all around the world use news clips without any permission, not even from the news clip that has the copyright. So what. This is the real world, so get over it.
“I hope you feel ashamed of yourself.” I was feeling something alright, but that certainly wasn’t it. “You hurt Haven and embarrassed your family and friends. I hope you apologize for your naughtiness.” She stopped there, and sniffed delicately, “I also smell Art’s horrid cigars in your hair and clothes. How disgusting.”
I wondered briefly how long it’d take me to die if I slapped her. From what I heard before…eternity. So, instead I snapped, “That’s a neat trick since he hasn’t smoked around me.” The words were short and clipped, and I snapped my mouth shut before anything more could escape.
Jasra yawned, as if I was the most boring thing in the world. Fine, I was, get out of my face. “You are lucky,” she continued. “He usually smokes large Churchill’s in bed.” I almost said something there. “Well, you can even get smoke in your clothes and hair from being in the same room as him. He inhales like an exhaust fan.”
“Well,” I said, trying to moderate my tone a little, “it’s not like any of us are going to get cancer or anything, not from smoking anyway.”
That must have hit something, because she glared at me. “I can see that you are a waste of time to adjust. I think you have found yourself a suitable home in Imperial Amerika. One wishes you the best of luck because you will need it.” She turned her back to me, and walked over to speak with Jason and Claudine. I gritted my teeth, and shrugged forcibly in indifference. I watched for a moment longer, wishing maybe that someone would have stood up for me during that, then turned away. F--- ‘em. I’ll get another drink. Or chocolate. Chocolate was very non-judgmental.
I settled for another scotch. Strangely enough, I nearly alone at this bar. Only Breyd was close by. I wonder why people were avoiding us.
That didn’t last very long though. Ian led over another redhead to me, dressed neck to toes in yet another green dress. Ian introduced her as Christiana von Mecklenberg. Oh, so, no insults this time, more smiley-smiley.
I wasn’t wrong either. She smiled, “It is a great pleasure to finally meet you. Father has told me so much about you.”
Breyd, who must have been listening in, started choking on her drink.
“Nice to meet you,” I said trying to be cheerful. I don’t think it worked. My eyes raked her over head to toes and back again. “Overdressed or underdressed, I just can’t win,” I grumbled.
“This, I did not want to offend the Havenites by wearing something I would normally wear about Imperial Amerika,” she replied.
“Maybe next time I should just show up to one of these things naked,” I commented, managing a smile there at the mental thought of the reaction. “It’d sure take a lot less time planning. Who’s daughter were you again?”
“Me, I’m one of Art’s daughters,” she replied. “Well, I know father doesn’t care what one wears, but the servants do chatter like busy bees.” I checked a sigh.
“Ah, well, nice to meet you then,” I said to her, frowning at the servants comment. It wasn’t the servants I was worried about. “I must have missed you when Art was taking me like, everywhere, introducing me to people.”
”Father has me…well, doing things and keeping busy. I can’t be everywhere all the time,” Christiana replied.
“Don’t expect you to be,” I said, thinking No, but Art might have managed to get around to it at some point. “Since there’s a hot bed of rumors and nonsense about Art and me, though, it would be nice if he managed to get me introduced to all of his progeny though. Avoids awkwardness like this. At least, it’s awkward for me.”
Oh, crap, that was out loud.
“I wouldn’t exactly call myself one of his favorites of his progeny. Think of me as more as his favorite Jeddi hunter,” Christiana replied earnestly.
My frown deepened into almost a scowl. “Right,” I said, tone clipped. Another thing that I just love to be reminded of—how bloody violent these people were. “Ok.” I looked around, trying to get calmed down.
“It’s generally helpful to know who your next stepmother is going to be,” Breyd piped up, grinning. I gave her a dirty look, and snorted.
“Is there something wrong?” the Meck asked, oblivious.
“You don’t think he’ll marry you then?” Breyd asked, twisting the knife. “I’d hold out for marriage or at least a few more estates…remaining a mistress alone is a bit of a dodgy proposition without securities.”
“You are just determined to get on my bad side, aren’t you?” I snarled. “I don’t repeat rumors I heard from Amber back to your face—and believe you me, there are a lot of them.” I shook my head, trying to clear it. “For the rest of the multiverse being so…negative about Amber, they are certainly obsessed with it.”
Breyd laughed, “Would you rather I repeated them behind your back?” I opened my mouth to retort then stopped. It might have been the alcohol talking, but she had a point there. “I’m sure you’ve heard a zillion rumors about me, some of them even conflicting. One difference though. It doesn’t bother me. As for the rest of Creation, it behaves like a scorned woman, and so heaps scorn.”
I considered that fuzzily. “Point, you’ve got one there,” I nodded. I looked around, but Christiana had left and was over pawing Bleys, Jasra’s escort at this point. Just as well. Blah. When I looked over to Breyd, she was gone as well.
So, I waited until Christiana was being brought to someone else to go apologize. It was Carl. Self, I thought, he won’t mind if you interrupt. Much. Maybe. Besides, I hadn’t gone to see him yet. Tried to, but… anyway. Be polite. Polite is good. I got up, finishing the rest of my drink. When I looked over to those two again, she kissed him. I sat back down again and sighed. What a miserable day. Utterly. I watched them from across the room, frowning frumpily. Soon enough, Ian led her over to someone else, but I rather didn’t feel like apologizing at this point. The bartender, who was getting to be my friend, filled up my glass without even asking. I saluted him, and slammed it down.
“I wanted to tell you about how you are so beautiful,” an eerily familiar voice said. My eyes widened in horror. Allen Unkerr was there, trying to paw Breyd. “And how together, you and I can unite to work to stop insidious Mecklenberg takeovers and stop useless Haven Tories from buggering up Haven even further.”
“Yerg…” Breyd gurgled, his ‘attack’ on her evidently unexpected. She kicked him where it hurts a gent the most. I almost winced, but it was Unkerr.
Art was nearby laughing, “Under Atlantis law and Oz’s law I pronounce you married, since I can do that. Oz gave me that power in his lands. Unkerr, you may kiss the bride.” I gaped at him, at the spectacle.
Breyd wasted no time in launching Unkerr at Art. Art easily deflected the throw, tossing the lout into the punchbowl. He laughed even harder, “Is that any way for a wife to treat her husband?”
Carl stepped into the middle of this then, between Breyd and Art. “I’m going to ask for a ruling on that, then ask for an annulment.”
“Ask all you want but you can’t; only he can get the annulment,” Art laughed, pointing to Unkerr. “Which he’ll probably get for failure to perform wifely duty after 3 months. But if she shags anyone else in the time, Unkerr can get all of her lands, property, and assets in the divorce. Or, they are only married in Oz’s land. Either way, I suggest you stay out of the loving couples’ business and let them deal with it.”
Christiana appeared behind Breyd so fast I thought she materialized there. “Congratulations on your marriage, my dear,” she purred. “I would never think you would have tied the knot, but a happy day now that you have.”
Breyd, a bit red in the face, pushed her hair back from her face. “It’s comforting to know you’d abide by a similar marriage where you didn’t even say ‘I do.’ That’ll make it so much easier for Art to get you out on the market cheap…considering you’ve been acting cheap all evening. Or do all Mecklenberg Princesses fling themselves at anything in shoe leather?”
“Anything would be better than the Jeddi scum that you’ve probably been sleeping with,” the Meck replied. “Then again, we don’t expect second rate Amberian Princesses to understand the ways and ideals of enlightened societies.”
I put my hand on Christiana’s shoulder. I had gotten up when Breyd started to talk, and went over there, trying to place peacemaker. Well, maybe not that, but Breyd looked ready to explode, and I didn’t blame her. “Enlightened people don’t make cheap shots,” I told the Meck. “Why don’t we go get a drink and let all these fellows—“ I waved my other hand around at everyone there, “—sort everything out by themselves.” I smiled, feeling remarkably sober for how much I’d put away in a short time. I kept my gaze on Christiana rather than look around at…everyone.
“I know the perfect little place to go as well,” Christiana replied, taking my arm and leading me away to the doors.
I blinked. I was just going to bring her over to my little corner of the party. “Right,” I said figuring what the hell. “Lead on.”
"Amber" is copyright © Roger Zelazny; this text is copyright © all the players and GM of Equinox. "Amber" the diceless RPG is copyright © Phage Press. No copyright infringement is intended.
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