, a small division of TMDOTPBM Enterprises International, Inc. ©2003 Founded by The Mighty Druids®, ©1994. All rights reserved.Just because your coat is shiny doesn't mean you have to lick it too.
I admit that my concern for others can sometimes be a negative aspect to my personality, but I like to think that the positives from being so nice (hopefully I’m not sounding full of myself) far outweigh the negatives from such a persona. Sometimes, however, this characteristic can be a curse, causing me to quite possibly overreact to certain situations that may or may not be any of my business.
Ryan (one of the guys I’m residing with at the new apartment) has a penchant for pissing me off, mainly with his treatment of women. Recently he became involved with a coworker with whom I have become friends (not close friends, though). She’s a nice young lady who apparently likes Ryan very much. Ryan has seemingly returned said affection, but unfortunately that’s not where I have a problem. I have a problem with the other women that he sees “on the side.” I wouldn’t have anything to complain about if they were just friends, but the things he tells me he does with them aren’t the sort of things that friends do together, at least not in my experience or opinion, especially when one is already involved with a different person, as Ryan supposedly is.
And this is where my inclination to care/worry about other people really gets me in a predicament. Andrea (said girl) isn’t naïve to the fact that Ryan is the sort of person with whom she would have certain problems, but it seems that her better judgment is lacking. The past couple of days I’ve felt as though I’m out of the loop, but what I can gather is Andrea is pretty upset with Ryan over a dinner date he had on Wednesday with another girl (he says it was just a friendly date). While she had initially given her blessing (or as much of a blessing as she could) to Ryan to go on this date, she got upset when he didn’t call her after the date. In fact, he didn’t call her until Thursday evening, giving the excuse that his cell phone wasn’t working (I need not mention that I would have gladly given him use of my cell phone had he asked). If she had only been upset because he had gone out on a dinner date, I may have been less concerned, but even I think it was wrong of him to conveniently have problems with his phone after a somewhat questionable engagement with another woman, no matter how innocent the evening went.
Unfortunately, Ryan doesn’t have my full confidence that he can act like a gentlemen to begin with as I’ve met at least one of his significant others and am regularly bombarded with stories of yet another young lady with whom he is acquainted. I can say with great assurance that his encounters with those women aren’t nearly as innocent as his recent dinner date.
So why am I so concerned over this situation? Why do I even care? I’ve already admitted that Andrea isn’t stupid to the fact that maybe Ryan isn’t the most trustworthy individual with which to have a relationship. Perhaps it’s because I get so disgusted at guys like Ryan who only make other guys look bad. I’m constantly agonizing over what I say or do, hoping my actions or words aren’t taken in a way that would put me in the same category as trash like Ryan. I’m not the perfect gentleman. I just want to portray myself as an honest person, and sometimes that’s hard with guys like Ryan leaving behind a reputation that is sometimes hard to erase in the minds of women. It makes me sick to see Ryan jumping from one girl to another without any care to their feelings. Yes, some of them probably wouldn’t care anyway, but that’s not the point, dammit! I don’t mean to have a pity party for myself, but yet here I am, struggling in between girlfriends (for what could possibly be years), caught in a horrible cycle of self-pity and loathing, hoping desperately to escape the loneliness that envelopes my mind. I know life isn’t “fair,” but this really irks me.
But if being a good person means I have to wait that much longer to find a person that will reciprocate a caring demeanor, one that will understand that happiness isn’t boy-band good looks and car salesman-like charm, then I’ll just have to wait. In the end, I believe I’ve got more to offer than a guy like Ryan. I don’t know exactly what it is that I have to offer; hopefully the girl that is attracted to me (someday) can tell me. I just know that it’s more than Ryan. Well, maybe not the abs.
, a small division of TMDOTPBM Enterprises International, Inc. ©2003 Founded by The Mighty Druids®, ©1994. All rights reserved.