FF7 Meets FFT: The Zodiac Vacation Part 2
By Rofel

Hello again, folks! That last story could’ve kept you guessing for hours. What will be my, the narrator’s, fate? Read this story and find out!

:::The scene opens at Chocobo’s House, in real life, with Ranma confronting him…:::

Ranma: Your dead meat Choco.

Chocobo: Hey! I’m the author! I decide what goes on! How’d you get out of the story? I put you in it!

Ranma: You wrote it so I got out.

Chocobo: Fine then. I’ll change the story so your trapped inside it again.

Narrator: And so I, er…Chocobo put Ranma back in the story with Cloud, Ramza, and the rest. Now let’s resume the story.

Aeris: So, Cloud. You have an idea of where we should go for our vacation?

Cloud: Yeah. Gold Saucer.

Yuffie: Gold Saucer? Yay!

Narrator: And so, they all went to Gold Saucer. Cloud decided to go to the Battle Arena, where by chance, he, Ramza, and Agrias found Dycedarg, Zalbag, and Elidibs arguing yet again over who would win the sword…

Dycedarg: No way, Brother. The sword is mine.

Elidibs: Will you two be quiet? They’re here!

Cloud: Just a moment.

Ramza: Yeah.

Narrator: The two go in, and come out with Chaos Blades in their hands.

Ramza: By the way, there’s more than one of these swords!

Cloud: CHERRY BLOSSOM!!!!!!

Narrator: And so, Cloud yet again destroyed 3 Zodiac people with one limit break. This time, however, they didn’t even get to change into monsters…

Ramza: Okay, so that’s 10 Zodiac Stones.

Cloud: Why do you want them?

Ramza: Oh. I just want to take them back to Orlandu and the rest as souveneirs from this world.

Agrias: That’s a nice idea.

Ranma: A very nice idea.

:::The narrator appears:::

Narrator: Argh! Ranma! :::draws Chaos Blade:::

Ranma: :::pulls out 14th Zodiac Stone and changes into…:::

Narrator: Ha! Can’t beat me! I decide what you turn into! I turned you into 3 dots!

:::Narrator leaves, and the 3 dots fall off the face of the earth:::

Cloud: Who were they?

Ramza: Aw…the guy who writes the story.

Cloud: What story?

Ramza: The one we live in.

Cloud: When did he write it?

Ramza: He’s writing it right now! He makes us say this!

Cloud: How?

Ramza: Grr…

Narrator: Elsewhere, Vormav, Kefka, and Alma have come back to life are getting ready to change into Zodiac Monsters…

Vormav: Now, just give yourselves one more paper cut…

:::Ganon from Zelda appears:::

Ganon: Not so fast. Only I turn into monsters around here.

Vincent: That’s what you think.

All: Huh?

Vincent: :::turns into Chaos:::

Ganon: :::turns into that monster with no name change from Ocarina of Time:::

Vormav: :::turns into Harashmalum:::

Vincent: Satan Slam! :::Instantly kills the anonymous Ganon, hits Vormav, Kefka, and Alma with flaming skulls…

Vormav: No! :::dies:::

Kefka: Hey, I’m not supposed to be here. FF7 Meets FFT? No mention of FF3 there. I don’t belong, so tootaloo! :::disappears:::

Alma: Brother Ramza! :::sees Cloud and all the rest running up:::

Ramza: Hello Alma.

Cloud: Ramza, I’ve been thinking…

Ramza: Cloud, what is it?

Cloud: If we could find an explosion as big as the one that brought you here, maybe we could send you back to your world…

Ramza: I doubt there’s something as powerful as the bervenia volcano.

Cloud: I bet there is.

Ramza: I’m open for suggestions.

Agrias: I bet we’re stuck here for good.

Cloud: Hey Ramza, if you don’t think you can get back, why’d you get souveneirs for when you got back?

Ramza: I guess you have a point there, Cloud.

Narrator: And so, Cloud has thought of a plan to send Ramza back to his own world. Will he find more power than in the bervenia volcano? Find out next time, in…