CHAPTER III
Are you sure you don’t need a hand with those?

"Holly shit! You're supposed to be dead!" Merrel freaked as he spun around in shock, only to be even more surprised. "What the hells happened to you…"

Before stood their old comrade, now even older than they remembered… His shoulder length hair now touched his waist and his once short goatee was now a beard equal to a dwarf's. But they knew it has him. Even behind decades of wrinkles and under bushy eyebrows they could recognize his cold gray eyes.

I’ve heard I have very nice eyes! Gerren thought, before getting back into script, "Hey! Watch where you point that thing!" The Gerren mocked, stepping back from the nude dwarf.

Merrel quickly remembered his state and cupped himself. "Oops…" He blushed under his beard.

"And as for what happened… well… it's a long… long story… Let's just say I've been waiting seventy years to get back here… and I think I might just end up back there anyway…" He said with a softened tone and a sigh.

"Puppy!" Akiyo exclaimed as he reached down to scratch the war wolf. "So there was someone following us after all!"

"SEE I TOLD YOU SO!" Merrel announced. "So there! HA!"

"Yeah… yeah… yeah… Anyway I see you guys had no trouble with the dragon… So by any chance is there a magnificent chest in here?"

"What do you mean?" Akiyo asked, still petting the wolf.

"I think… I might get sent back in time… again… but that’s still a long story… you see this hooded priest at the Temple of Big Spiders* gave me this bundle about a week ago… He kept muttering stuff about luggage… very odd old man… ‘Watch after the magnificent chest… oh and get the trunk fixed…’ He said…"

Merrel smiled, "Chest eh? How about this one?" Side stepping he then waved an arm towards Gharzia's unconscious form. "That magnificent enough?"

"Great Heavens below! What the hell happened?" The drow exclaimed, never before having been that caught off guard, "Did she quaff a potion of Mammary Max** or what?"

"You know of the stuff?" the monk inquired.

"Yeah… drow chicks tend to be a bit flat… a bottle is worth three hundred gold in some parts of the Under-Lands… my wife had a vile of it… it was a fun coupla months…" He trailed off.

"So it wears off… bugger…" Merel asked,

"Yeah, but the more you take the longer it lasts… and overdose like this…" Gerren stopped and just smiled…"Could be permanent."

WOW! Each of the men thought, Permanent…

And then there was a long silence as everyone dwelled on it… and all the possibilities that could be awaiting them.

Damn breeze… Merrel noted again.

The drow's keen peripheral vision picked up movement and suddenly he was snapped out of it as he realized what he was seeing, "Gods Meri! Put on some pants!"

"Can't… all my stuff…" He began to sniffle, "was on Buttercup…"

"Damn… and I suppose there's nothing here you could wear…" Garren bitched, looking around, then he saw the head.

"Holly Hells! TRUNK! What the hell happened?"

"…he shattered… ouch… what the hell hit me?" A weak voice came up from the floor. "I’m never… having boar again…

"Gharzia! You're okay! Gods be praised!" Akiyo shouted.

"Not so loud… now what happ-" The orc stopped in mid sentance as she tried to sit up. "….oh my gods…"

"Are you okay?" Akiyo and the other asked in unison, each stepping towards her, "Do you need a hand?"

"Ummm… no." She quickly said, "So this is what I got eh?" She said to herself, almost laughing. Bringing her hand up to them, "Oh…" She moaned softly, "Sensitive…" She blushed as she remember she wasn't alone, "Ummm… I'm fine!" Gonna have to do more of that later! She smiled, I hadn’t even touched the nipples yet! "Ahem! Umm… Now… I guess we see if I can stand with these things!"

Stepping back to give her room, but still close enough to 'grab hold' should she fall the men retreated. Their eyes never leaving her chest as it jiggled, bounced, swayed and all the other fun movements possible…

Bracing herself with her sword she raised herself up on it with a few grunts and moans. "Ugh, now that wasn't so bad… Huh, this is weird!" Gharzia paused noticing something was off.

"What is it?" The men all asked, ready to come to her aid.

"They're lighter than they should be… In theory my back shoulda snapped…" She paused again, "Marvelous!" she exclaimed with a bounce. "WOOHOO! Finally! I’ve beaten her!"

The men all smiled broadly again, each wishing their own little perverted dreams.

In a winter hot spring…

With whipped cream and honey…

…With my sisters too…

Want Cookie… Cookie… Cookie…****

"Okay guys, eye's up here!" Gharzia snapped them all back into attention. Holding her dagger in a throwing position.

"Oops… sorry…" They all said sheepishly.

"And stop talking in unison! It's getting too damn weird!"

"Okay…" Again, in sequence.

Gharzia glared at them, and hefted the blade.

So, umm what did you mean by 'finally? Are you happy with your new… assets?" Akiyo asked stepping forward, shifting the subject subtly, but still, in the back of his mind he thought of Gharzia and a shower of pudding…

"Giggle… err… umm… Well… it was my teenage dream to… surpass my mother in… size, but at sixteen they stopped growing… I was only four cup sizes away to…" She added, growing distant, "But now!" She restarted with an enthusiastic vigor, "Now if only she could see… We'll defiantly have to stop by my old town sometime… wont the old bitch be blasted off her ass…" Gharzia sneered happily, "But first lets round up the loot! It’s gonna take a few dozen gold just to get me a new top, that’s for sure!" She said, pausing, "But before that, what the hell happened to you Gerren? We saw you explode?"

"It’s a long story, but since we’re all here now…" The drow sighed, "It all started seventy odd years ago…"

And so they all sat down and listen to Gerren's update life's story, which was nicely summed up in chapter one's footnote, and isn't interrupted with bouts of hysterical laughter by the party. He also filled them in on the possibility of him returning, at which point Gharzia had to smack Merrel upside the head so he'd stopped giggling. And so with a 'sedated' dwarf Gerren went on to tell of the bundle given to him by a possible 'future self'.

"So go on and open it up! I wanna see if you've given us any clue what's gonna happen!" Gharzia said, excitedly.

"I doubt it, I… errr… we don't wanna screw up the timeline too much… If I stop existing, so do you guys!"

Gharzia furrowed her brow, "True, you did save us that one time in Zag-Nor-Kan… and Puppy helped us in that one siege…"

"Still, we gotta see what it is, you even said so… ever… will say so…" akiyo added.

"True enough…" Geren said, and then pulled apart the bundles string tie and let the bag fall open.

"Ooooooooo…."

*Fenwick's Notes: The Temple of Big Spiders: A fine example of just how creepy the drow are. It's a very popular religion in there species, but has had considerable trouble expanding into the other races… especially where housewives are concerned: "Honey, I'm sorry but I simply can't squish God with a piece of toilet paper!"

**Fenwick's Notes* Mammary Max-(amizer): It's the best breast enhancement potion of the 1390's! Invented by Sir Sirus Medleton: Archbishop of Norport Abby. Who's taste in a very particular shape of woman far differed from the town's average, which was a 'A' cup. So with his alchemist's skills he formulated a way to make the town 'more to his liking' and so now centuries later Norport has more chiropractors than any other city in the world, and men across the land sing of his praises***!

***Fenwick's Notes: Songs like Medleton's Melons, the Bishop's Broad Boobs, and Gods Bless that Bastard!

****Fenwick's Notes: I'll give you this one's owner: PUPPY! As if you hadn't guess already… 8)

Fenwick’s Notes: For those of you looking at this on my web page it’s not safe to look at the first couple of pictures I have drawn, which I must say look really damn spiffy! And I’m not just saying that because I drew them either! So if you want to see my vision of the team go ahead and look! Be amazed, show your friends and surprise them with Gharzia’s asssets, but be weary of your boss if you’re at work like I am as I type this! The workplace is not the place for porn… unless you work in that particular field I guess…