CHAPTER IV
If kings and horses can't do it, how are we gonna?

"You're gonna try that shit? Then count me out of it!" Merrel said folding his arms together, "I'm not working with undead! Never have done anything with the stinking rot-bastards and never will!"

"It's not voodoo, or anything of the sort Merrel! It's a Jewish spell. And as everyone knows raising the dead ain't kosher!"

"How do you know? You're like a Buddhist or something!"

"A little help over here!" Akiyo cried out.

Gharzia stepped up behind the dwarf and knocked him upside the head. "Okay, try explaining it again, hopefully it'll sink in this time!"

"…ouch…" Merel whimpered.

"Okay, what happened was Trunk got turned into stone. Now in therory, he's still alive, but because we broke him…"

"We? You're the one who-" Merrel interrupted, and then stopped short as he saw Gharzia start to raise her arm.

"Okay, now because he's broken if we cast the normal cure, Stone to Flesh, he'd fall apart in a gooey mess. Now instead, we're gonna patch him together with this magical elixir Gerren has, and them cast a golem spell on him. In theory, he'll be alive again. All we have to do now is find all the pieces and put them back together. So could you at least help us there?" Akiyo finished with a sigh.

"I guess… but I'm not touching his… if I find it!" Merrel said, rubbing his head.

"Fine, someone else can handle that…" Akiyo said, his almost infinite patience was running low.

"Good! Now that that's settled get to work!" Gharia commanded.

"Hey! Why aren't you helping then?"

"Because I'm supervising! Plus bending over is still a little tricky for me!"

"And what about Stevens?" He asked.

"He's identifying all the magical shit in this place, and believe me, there's a lot of it!"

"Yeah, but nothing in my size I'm betting!" He grumbled.

"Oh on the contrary, I think I've found something to your liking Akiyo said popping up from behind a pile of gold. Tossing two items at the dwarf he continued, "According to the runes they are of 'Fire Resistance'!"

Merrel missed catching them, and scurried to grab them before they rolled down the pile of gold, "Bracers of Fire Resistance? How the hells that gonna help, I'm already fire resistant!"

"Well, in theory, they'll keep your clothing from catching on fire. Otherwise, you can't use your new found abilities, unless you decide to go nude…" He saids with a shiver down his spine…

"Yeah?" The dwarf said picking them up, "Not bad!" He said, snapping the glowing bands on, "But still at the moment I don't have any clothes!"

Gharzia stepped forward, "Yeah, but we've got some we could spare for a bit I suppose. Gerren, How goes Trunk?"

The drow looked up from his work, "Slowly he said, waving a brush, "Trunk's got a lot of pieces still missing, but this stuff seems to be sticking them together! Whatever the hell it is!*"

"Excellent! By any chance do you have any extra clothes with you my pants wont fit dwarves?"

"If he had a thirty inch waist sure… snicker… snicker…" Gerren laughed.

Gharzia sighed, "True… if only he still had that Allia with us… She was about the right hight…"

"Yeah, but accidents happen… Think the Archmage has been able to do anything with Allia?" Merrel asked with a slight twinge in his heart for the only woman he's ever met shorter than himself."

"I pray so, it was such an unfortunate occurrence after all," The monk said sadly, "Transmogrification is still a new magical field though… Hopefully they can solve it’s secretes… Anyway, here try these of for size, but whatever you do, don't jump!"

"What are they?" Merrel asked.

"Seven League Boots! And if you use them inside you're going to have a nasty accident with a stalagtight! Now let's see what else we have in here." Akiyo said looking about.

And over the next half-hour they rummaged through the massive pile of loot in search of clothing items and bits of Trunk.

Finally giving up on both tasks and settling down.

"He really doesn't need both ears…" Gerren slipped in.

"And I guess this will do before we get back to town…" Merrel bitched softly as he wrapped more of Akiyo's extra robe around himself "It's like wearing a blanket though…"

"What me to shorten it Merrel?" Gharzia asked, putting her palm ot her sword.

"Ummm… that's okay… ummm…" Merrel said nervously, "Why don't I see if the bracers work eh?" Switching the topic quickly he stood up and stuck his arms out from under the heaps of cloth. Then began channeling his powers.

In a flash he already started to glow with a red haze. The bands themselves started flashing with power too. "Woohoo! They work alright! Let’s try a little more force!"

"Careful! We don't know how well they work yet!" Akiyo said quickly, "You don’t want to overload them!" But it was too late. He watched speechlessly as his old robe bust into flames along with the boots and underwear they'd made him out of Gerren's spare pants.

"Oops…" Merrel blushed as the ashes drifted about him.

Gharzia sighed, giving her makeshift bra (twenty-seven feet of bandages) a bit more stress than it wanted, "That's it! Your naked until we get back to town!"

Merrel smiled slyly, "What ever you say, Miss!"

Oh gods he’s enjoying it now… Gharzia sighed once more, popping her bonds. Letting her boobs bounce freely. "…And I guess I’ll just have to wait too… oh well it’s not like you haven’t already gotten an eyeful…"

Each of the men smiled inwardly. Merrel, the only one not sitting, quickly did as he felt that ever so familiar ‘twinge’ again.

"Sigh…" Gharzia mutter again, "Okay, enough of a break, lets see if we can get Trunk moving! Akiyo how goes the spell, figured it out yet?"

"What mistress… err…. Gharzia?" Akiyo shook the delusions out of his head, "Ummm… Sure! With all the components ready I think we can do it!"

"Good! Hop to it!"

Akiyo paused, "Ummm… sure… I can stand…" The monk slowly got up, slouching forward as to allow his robes to drape down over any embarasments…

"Now lets see here… All pasted together… check. Star of David on the head… check… Elixir mixed… check. Spell sheet… check…" Akiyo looked over Trunk’s body thoroughly, ignoring the missing ear entirely though. "Well, I guess there’s no time like the present!"

Everyone gathered around as Akiyo read over the incantation and poured the blue liquid over dead troll. Blue sparks began to fizzle of the body and the liquid seeped into unseen holes.

"Wow!" The group gasped as an eerie glow cover their collogue as some of the smaller cracks in his form sealed up.

"Cool!" They awed again, and then all grew silent and dim.

"What happened?"

"Is it over already?"

"I’m not impressed!"

"Hmmm… That should be it…" Akiyo said worriedly, examining his notes. Wait, I’ll do a detect magic and see if it worked!"

The monk waved his hand and muttered under his breath and looked over at the troll, "Yep, there’s a noticeable glow there!" He said, "My guess is that the body’s still absorbing energy and he should be up and able in just a few minutes!"

Akiyo stood up and whipped his hands. "He should be good as new… well… slightly used, but he’s alive!" He declared. Still under the effects of the detect spell the monk glanced over the dragon’s horde to make sure he didn’t miss any items that might become useful. But as it turned out, there were no more items to be seen…and all that they could get went us in smoke because of Merrel… And then something caught his eye and he looked over at the dragon, "Holly shit of Buddha…" He gasped whipping his eyes to double check. Looking once more his mouth dropped… "It’s still alive!"

*Fenwick's Notes: It's Mystic Glue: Available in a paste, stick, powder, and an ooze, and magic wand… Mystic Blue bonds nearly everything under creation together in seconds! With just a little dab you can firmly secure an dwarf in an iron helmet to an steel beam, not that you'd want to, but still, with Mystic Glue anything is a possibility! Fixes golems, magic staves, rebuilds fortifications, and tightly seals ship’s hulls, and much much more! (Warning: Mystic Glue is highly NON-toxic, but still, should not be eaten or handled directly, contact with skin is highly unadvised! Also Mystic Glue should be kept in its jar at all times, and only used in a well-ventilated area at ALL times. Any adverse or 'unusual' side effect while using Mystic Glue are purely coincidental and not to the fault of Mystic Inc. Int.)