Warning what you are about to read are the opinions of the disgruntled and poorly caffeinated. These rants hold the opinions of only the persons who wrote them and possible a few others. The individuals who have written a rant or will write a rant in the future are probably in need of medical attention, but we can't afford to pay a shrink instead we have this rant space here. So grab a caffeinated drink and start reading.

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In Memory Today there isn't going to be much of a rant, so sorry to the guys who I've told their rant was next, it'll be next Monday. Yesterday was the 4 year aniversary of my mother passing away. It was a really hard day for me, even the days leading up were hard. I tried to keep myself busy which worked for most of the day but towards the end of yesterday I just staired at my computer with nothing to do but be alone with my thoughts. To avoid my thoughts I tried to sleep, that didn't work too well. I ended up drowning my thoughts away. The day before was hard too. The morning and the bus ride too school I had to fight myself from crying. It was especially hard when passing the cemetary on the 15 route. I invited my friends over: Tania and Cloe, thank you btw. I guess after reading this they'll realize that I was being silly all day to avoid crying too. We pretended we were Charlie's Angels and we did missions but it helped me not be all down. Keegan and Ze came over later and we stayed up late. Ze didn't realize that I didn't want to goto sleep because I didn't want to dream of her because I was afraid my dreams were going to be more of nightmares. I cuddled with Ze and I crashed cause I haven't been sleeping lately. I'd just like to say to people who haven't lost someone or people who have recently lost someone. I remember when my mum first passed away people told me it gets easier with time it's sort of true but not in the way you think. You will never forget the people we lose along the way if they truely meant something in the first place. The closer you are to this person the harder it will be. At first you will you will think of them all the time and day to day tasks will be hard. After you've had some time to heal you can think of the parted without crying but it's still hard. In someways it gets harder, you'll sit back and realize what the parted has miss and will still miss. For me I'll think how my mum missed me graduate from highshool or how she won't eventually one day see her grandchildren. I know some people say she's still looking over me and I know she is it's just I want her here physically. Anyways I'd like to say sorry to the people I've been bithchy to and just let you know I'll be alright just let me get out of this. Some people I didn't tell about this day because I hate when people have to tiptoe around me or are always asking me if I'm alright. The reaction you'd get would be worse than me without coffee. So this is in memory of Margaret Rose Waugh, loving mother of myself and best friend of Vicki. I miss you so much and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you! I hope you're resting in peace and are proud of your little girl, I try to good for you and I always think of you before making any major decision. I love you...   Crystal Rose Hurlbert a.k.a. Star_rose_three

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