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Just One of Those Days

By Bob        Three of them stood there on the hill, overlooking a rather large city.
       "It's pretty heavily gaurded," Bob collapsed his telescope.
       "Yup," Pumbaa replied.
       "It' ll take a lot of thinking to bring this place down," Bob sat on the hill.
       "Yup," Pumbaa sat down next to Bob.
       The third, Durrack, was more impressed by the ladies he saw sunbathing just down the hill, and didn't seem to about planning an invasion.
       "Durrack, how should we go about getting into the city?"
       "Oooooooo, ladies. . ."
       "What?"
       "Ladies, down there," he pointed them out, "I'm going to get their names!," and he took off down the hill to meet them.
       Gringito showed up a few moments later, wearing his new armor and showing off his new sword.
       "Hey guys, what's going on?"
       "That," Bob pointed at the city.
       "Wow! Nice cathedral building!," Gringito had a sparkle in his eye.
       "Do you have any suggestions as to how we can take this city?"
       "Yeah. . .," Gringito smiled and they went to it.
       On the way down the hill they told Durrack, who still didn't care. So they kept going down the hill through the brambles, thorns, trees, various animal wastes, streams and several forms of birds before they finally got to the gate, which was locked.
       "Open this gate!," Gringito yelled.
       "Who goes there?," a voice called from way back.
       "Where?"
       "There, where you are!"
       "We are three well armed, highly trained, very anxious invaders who are very intent on taking over this city."
       "Armed?"
       "Yeah"
       "Trained?"
       "Highly"
       "Anxious?"
       "Exetremely!"
       "Invaders?"
       "Oh, yeah!"
       Then there was a silence.
       "So are you going to let us in?"
       "Who goes there?," the voice asked again.
       "US!"
       "Us. . .Us who?"
       "The armed, trained, extremely anxious invaders!"
       "Oh, OK," and the gate creaked open.
       The three walked into the city and sat at the town fountain.
       "Well, what now?," Gringito asked of the other two.
       "I dunno, how about the capitol building? We could go take that over."
       "Nah, too soon."
       Just then a rather large, burly man appeared at the bar door across the street, throwing a small gray body out onto the street.
       "Quit f------ beeping me! You stupid little alien!"
       The alien stood up, looked around and saw Gringito and approached him,
       "Have you do the time?," it muttered in its broken english.
       "3 pm"
       "Many thank you," and the alien touched his fingertip to Gringitos shoulder, "beep."
       Gringito didn't understand and touched the things forehead,
       "Bink."
       The alien made a weird little noise and scurried back to the bar. Five minuts later, the alien was out on the street again, this time the large man came screeching out behind him,
      "He beeped me! That alien beeped me!"
       Gringito stopped the man, "So he beeped you, big deal."
       "You don't understand, that's their way of sex!"
       Gringito went pale, his hair even lost a few shade of redness. The alien saw the two standing there and came at them with a smile on his face, holding his finger out. The large man climbed the closest tree and Gringito ran, very fast.
       The next time Bob and Pumbaa saw Gringito, he was at the top of the cathedral building with several copper pipes tied to him, screaming,
       ". . . This builidng sucks! All you gods are figments of everybodies imagination! You couldn't create a creature if you were all stoned!. . . "
       "Oh man," Bob started wlaking home, "this is going to be a joy to explain."
       Pumbaa stayed back to make sure Gringito didn't do something even more stupid, like get a hold of a bucket of kerosene or something. Little did Pumbaa notice that there was a storm approaching.
       When Bob finally got back to the guild hall, he went up to the Shanirs office and explained the situation.
       The Shanir gazed at him from behind the stack of papers on her desk and growled,
       "File a report! We'll get to this one later!"
       "Yeah but if it starts storming, more importantly lightning, we'll have to scrape him off the cathedral with a spatula, and they're not gonna be mine Ścause I just bought a whole new set!"
       "FILE A REPORT!"
       So Bob grabbed the papers and walked down to the kitchen where Bjorn was waiting.
       "What's up with Jame?"
       "It's just not a good day."
       "Care to explain?"
       "Well it started when Quinine, Pookie and Pumbaa went to the market and started chanting. They were arrested for disturbing the peace. Then Gringito, Pumbaa, Durrack and you go to take over that city. We still don't know where Durrack is."
       "He's at the Playhouse."
       "How do you know?"
       "Trust me, Durrack went to the Playhouse."
       "Anyways, Talie and Harriet were caught conjuring a storm. Pookie, Ba'al and I got into a heated arguement in the tavern downtown and got kicked out."
       "An arguement? Over what?"
       "Whether or not teddy bears know the difference between oranges and beer."
       ". . ." Bob wondered, but wasn't going to ask.
       "Then Lothar, Gamora and Asthras went to the library, had a quiet contest, and got kicked out for disturbing the rest of the people because they were running around trying to get the others to make noise. Beatrice, Tessa, Angelyne and Tori took the opportunity and proceeded to clean the Guild Hall."
       "Clean?!"
       "As in raid your supply closet and disinfect the entire place, kinda clean."
       "Well then why is my kitchen still a mess?"
       "Because the don't know the differnce between good food and old food. They would have come in here and left only your knives, the stove and maybe a table."
       "Well then, it sounds like I need to explain the proper way to clean this kitchen then."
       "Probably"
       "So that's why she's in a bad mood."
       "Yeah."
       So on his way out Bob grabbed a large piece of mutton and went back to the city, which had since vacated. Only Gringito stood in the city, at the fountain.
       "Where'd Pumbaa go?"
       "Beep, beep. . . beep?" (Uh, up there?)
       "Huh?"
       "BEEP! Beep beep beep! Beep. . . beep!!" (There! He's right there! Bob. . . Duck!)
       "Hey, all I came to do was give you this leg of mu. . ." Bob tried to finish his sentence.
       "Meat!," Pumbaa had tackled Bob and had polished the bone clean.
       ". . . tton," Bob lay there stunned with Pumbaa munching on the pieces of bone.
       "Beep beep, beep beep beep beep!"
       "He says, ŚHey dummy, I told you so!'," Pumbaa grunted.
       "Why is he beeping?," Gringitos ears perked up and he scrambled to the top of the fountain.
       "That little alien, had to be destroyed, but I'll leave it to Gringito to tell you how. Isn't that right beeper?"
       "BEEP?!!," Gringito took an offensive (attack!!) position and sprung at Pumbaa. But Bob hit him with a stone and knocked him unconscious.
       When Gringito woke up, the next day, he looked up into the big black eyes of an alien.
       "AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!," Gringito started beating the alien to death.
       "Relax man! It's only a mask!," Bob stood behind the counter, "You feeling allright?"
       "I just had the weirdest experience!"
       "Let me guess, just one of those days?"
       "Not this time. . ."

The End

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