Disclaimer on first part of story.
By Orion and Noda
Two days later the bridge crew stared at the viewscreen in anticipation. Each one holding his breath as the mouth of the vortex they had entered began to widen. Slowly, tiny points of light appeared in the distance, and soon the screen seemed to be ablaze with light and color as Voyager was deposited back into normal space once again.
"It worked," Harry called out, his eyes scanning the console in front of him. "We're on the other side of the void."
A general chorus of hoorays were heard around the bridge and Kathryn sighed with relief as she stood at the railing. Suddenly Chakotay was at her side. "Well done, Captain," he said to her quietly.
Kathryn smiled but her eyes remained on the viewscreen. "I knew I had to take a chance on that wormhole."
"Sensors indicated it was pointed in the direction we were traveling. It wasn't too risky," he said.
"Well, I'm certainly glad we're out of the void, as I'm sure everyone else is too," Kathryn said, glancing at the happy bridge crew.
"Yes," Chakotay said, also looking around. "Maybe now things can get back to normal." His gaze traveled back to her.
"Yes," she said, smiling up at him. "Warp six, Mr. Paris. You know the way."
"Aye, Captain," Tom answered.
Kathryn turned and headed back toward her seat and Chakotay followed suit. Out of her peripheral vision she saw him glance at her and smile. Good, she thought, maybe now he'll stop watching me like a hawk. The past two days had been hell, but she had managed to struggle through without eliciting any more questions from Chakotay.
She was happy they were out of the void, and knew everyone else would be reasonably happy too. For now. Until they began thinking again about how they had become trapped. What she had to do now was find a way to get them home. It was the only way she'd ever be able to face herself in the mirror again.
Chakotay sat in his chair and glanced over at Kathryn. She did seem much happier than he'd seen her in a long time. Maybe this is what she had needed, what they had all needed. Getting beyond the void would get everyone back on track, including Kathryn. Finally, things would be normal again.
*****
Kathryn took a defensive stance and readied herself for the holographic disc. It was their final round of velocity, the score tied, two games each. She hadn't really felt a desire to play the game, but her refusal, yet again, would have alerted Chakotay's suspicions. She definitely felt better since she could see stars again, but the sense of guilt that assailed her during those dark hours in the void still haunted her. Making a valiant effort to go on, she'd accepted Chakotay's offer to play the game. To her surprise, she found she actually did care who won the game. They'd placed no bets on the outcome, his confident grin the only catalyst she needed to feel her competitive nature kick in. Although the game was more physical activity than she'd had in months, it was Chakotay who's breathing was labored.
"Looks like you're the one who needed the exercise," Kathryn taunted, dodging a flash from the disc.
"I'm just playing harder than you," Chakotay panted.
"Oh, that's why we're tied, right? Because you're working so hard at it?"
"I had to give you a little incentive," he gasped, missing the disc with a stray shot by almost a meter.
"Nice shot, Commander," Kathryn called, smiling as she hit the target dead center.
Chakotay narrowed his gaze at her. "Lucky shot."
"Lucky my as. . .Ouch!" Kathryn yelped as the disc fired a beam, striking her in the arm. Now she was mad. "Computer, score!" she cried out. "Commander Chakotay ten, Captain Janeway nine."
"Damn," she muttered under breath.
"You could forfeit," Chakotay offered.
"Not on your life, Commander. This game isn't over yet!" Kathryn took a chance on a nearly impossible shot. Tucking herself into a roll, she landed on her left shoulder and came up firing, hitting the disc straight on.
"Point, Janeway," the computer informed them.
Kathryn gave Chakotay a smug smile. "You could forfeit."
Chakotay smiled back. Although he didn't want to loose, it would be worth it to see Kathryn gain a little confidence back. True to her word, she did seem to be recovering from her depression. But she still seemed to be having problems interacting with the crew on a social basis. Actually, he was rather surprised when she took him up on his offer of the velocity game. He was certain she'd have more than a few excuses to avoid him. Of course, he didn't count himself among the general population of the crew. At least she'd still spoken to him during her ordeal. Now the next step was to get her to attend one of Neelix's functions or perhaps a game of pool in Sandrines.
Kathryn wiped away a sheen of perspiration from her forehead as she took her position once more. "Ready?" she asked Chakotay? He nodded and she called,"Begin!"
"Game and match point," the computer announced. Kathryn adjusted her grip on the phaser. She had to make this point. Chakotay had been bragging about how good he'd gotten at the game during their time in the void; she'd love to knock him down a peg.
Chakotay shifted on the balls of his feet. Kathryn was always the best at any game she played. Pool, parises squares, tennis, and now velocity. He had to win this game, if for nothing else to knock her down a peg. They smiled confidently at each other, taking their turns at shooting the disc's erratic movements. Neither one seemed to get a clean shot.
"Shall we make this a little more interesting?" Kathryn asked, narrowly being missed by a flash of light.
"What do you suggest?"
"A little more challenge. You up for it?" she teased.
"If you are."
"Computer, level ten," Kathryn ordered. With that the disc picked up speed and seemed to be everywhere at once. Both of their shots went wide. So intent on their target, neither saw the other and as they lunged simultaneously, landing together in a heap on the floor.
Momentarily stunned, Chakotay couldn't tell if Kathryn were laughing or crying. "Are you okay?" he asked, climbing off of her.
"I'm fine," Kathryn managed between peals of laughter. "I'm sorry," she said between breaths. "You should have seen the look on your face!" She started laughing again, tears running down her cheeks. Her mood was infectious and Chakotay soon found himself laughing as hard as she was.
"I'm sorry," Kathryn said again. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought; I'm really getting punchy."
Helping her to her feet, Chakotay unconsciously brushed the hair back off her face. Realizing the intimacy implied by the gesture, he tried to cover by asking her if she was sure she was all right. "No broken bones? Sprained wrists?"
"No, I'm fine. How about you?"
"I'm fine," he answered, staring into her eyes. The tension in the room was beginning to mount, and Kathryn found herself staring at Chakotay's mouth, certain he was going to kiss her. And she was going to let him. Suddenly he moved away from her, picking up his phaser.
"We still have a game to finish," he reminded her. Kathryn wasn't entirely sure he was referring to velocity.
"If you don't mind, I think I'm going to call it a night," Kathryn said, suddenly weary.
"You're sure you're okay?" Chakotay wondered at the reversal of her mood.
"Let's just say I had the competitive edge knocked out of me for the night," she smiled. "But this isn't over, Commander. Tonight may have ended in a draw but I'm going to demand a rematch." She touched him on the chest as she turned to leave. "Good night, Chakotay."
*****
Chakotay stood in the holodeck, toweling off the sweat that threatened to drip from his face. What had just happened here? For a moment he thought Kathryn wasn't going to back away, and for a moment, he thought he wouldn't either. Maybe it was a good thing she'd called an end to the game. If they'd tried to resume play, he was sure he would have been too distracted by their brief encounter.
Perhaps the episode caught him off guard because of her self-imposed distance. She hadn't flirted with him in months. Taking his cue from her, Chakotay had never tried to rekindle the intimacy they'd always seemed to share. Even from the first moments they met, they'd established a rapport that seemed unlikely under the circumstances. He'd never felt so distanced from her as he had these last weeks, though. Kept at an even greater arms length than usual. That's why her reaction to him caught him so off guard.
The "old" Kathryn was back. The one who started to move closer, then would always pull back at the last minute, afraid where it might lead. He couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she didn't pull back, if just for once she'd let herself go.
Smiling to himself, Chakotay realized he'd be so shocked, he probably wouldn't know what to do about it. Like tonight. Why the hell didn't he just grab her and kiss her? She wanted him to, he could tell, but again the walls came up and he lost the opportunity. If he ever had the chance again, he wasn't going to miss it.
*****
Kathryn walked along the corridors almost in a daze. Well that was certainly unexpected, she thought. Of all the outcomes she'd thought of for their velocity game, running away like a scared school girl wasn't it. How many times had they been through this? The come-close-then-back-off game she'd been playing with him practically since they'd met. Didn't she owe him more than that for the loyalty he'd shown her? The unspoken love his actions proclaimed? How unfair and selfish she'd been. All she did was take from him, never giving anything in return. It was amazing he didn't resent her as the rest of the crew did. Maybe he did. Perhaps that's why he didn't follow through with his actions. Knowing she would only end up rejecting him again. And given the opportunity, she probably would have. So, saving them both the embarrassment, he backed off. She'd trained him well, she mused. A little too well.
*****
B'Elanna entered the astrometrics lab, surprised Seven was still standing before the console, running a scan.
"Don't you ever sleep?" B'Elanna asked, announcing her presence.
Without turning to look at her, Seven continued pressing lighted sections of the panel in front of her. "I don't require rest the way the remainder of the crew does," Seven said with a hint of superiority, now turning to face B'Elanna. "As you well know."
"It was just a comment, Seven. A way to let you know I'd entered the room," B'Elanna tried to explain, knowing the woman would probably ignore any comment she made that resembled conversation.
"I have to run a diagnostic on several programs. Are you going to be much longer?"
"I do not know. The scan may take several more hours," Seven stated almost dismissively.
"Well, I don't have several hours," B'Elanna bristled. "You've been here all day, I've put this diagnostic off twice already because of you. You're going to have to finish up or leave it until later," she said, stepping closer. "What are you scanning that's so damn important anyway?" Looking up, she didn't see anything on the viewscreen that was in Voyager's projected path.
"A nebula."
"I don't see any nebula on our flight path."
"It is approximately one light year away," Seven begrudgingly informed her.
"What's so special about it?" B'Elanna asked, setting her tool-kit on the edge of the console.
"It is emitting berthold rays," Seven said, as if her answer was self-explanatory.
"Which is a good reason to stay on course," B'Elanna said. "Do you have any idea how deadly berthold radiation is to humanoids?"
"I am aware of the adverse effects to some species."
"Well, now that you've gathered your data, you can leave and let me get to my diagnostic," B'Elanna commented, opening her tool-kit.
"Lieutenant, are you aware that berthold rays can be harnessed and used to reinitialize dilithium?"
That got B'Elanna's attention. "I've heard speculation about it, but there's no conclusive evidence that it works. Berthold radiation is too volatile for experimentation. It can pass through any shielding we know of."
Seven stood with her hands clasped behind her, shoulders back. Her posture alone radiated a smugness that set B'Elanna's teeth on edge. "You are correct when you say the Federation has insufficient knowledge of effective shielding," Seven said. "However, Species 2965 have developed a technology capable of utilizing berthold radiation as a means of dilithium re-crystallization."
"That's all fine and good, Seven, but you missed the point. We can't get close enough to gather the radiation, much less protect the ship while this process takes place."
"I believe I can modify Voyager's shields using a cloaking method developed by Species 948," Seven stated, handing B'Elanna a padd.
Taking the proffered data device, B'Elanna took a look at the specs. In theory Seven's plan seemed sound, but she didn't want to get her hopes up. There were just too many variables at this point, from the radical nature of Seven's proposal to trying to convince the Captain to give it a shot. But what a boon for Voyager if this worked! It would be years before the ship ran out of energy! And if this succeeded, it could be an endless source of power. Berthold radiation was fairly common!
Despite her best efforts to remain impartial, B'Elanna found herself growing excited by the possibilities. Diagnostic forgotten, she looked to Seven. "We need to bring this to the Captain's attention." Slapping her comm badge, she contacted Janeway.
"Lieutenant Torres to Janeway."
"This is Janeway, go ahead, Lieutenant."
"Captain, Seven's made a discovery I think we need to discuss. Could we meet with you?"
There was a slight delay, as if Janeway were checking her schedule, then she said, "Meet me in my ready room. Do I get any clue as to what this is all about?"
"Let's just say if this works it could change the nature of our journey. Torres out."
Seven returned to her scans, ignoring B'Elanna.
"Now!" B'Elanna stressed, growing more irritated with the woman by the moment.
"Very well, Lieutenant," Seven conceded with a sigh. Without waiting for B'Elanna to lead, Seven strode from the lab.
*****
Kathryn looked over the padd B'Elanna had handed her one more time before passing it to Chakotay. "It looks promising," Kathryn said with the first genuine smile B'Elanna had seen in weeks. She was glad she could bring Janeway this news, even if it was Seven who'd actually 'discovered' it. Although, she didn't consider knowledge gained by assimilation Seven's 'discovery' any more than she'd credit a librarian as the discoverer of knowledge they took the time to point out.
"I've heard of the possibility of reinitializing dilithium with berthold radiation when I was working as a science officer, but I didn't know anyone had actually achieved it," Kathryn said, pacing with excitement before Chakotay, Seven and B'Elanna. "Seven, how far away is this nebula?"
"Approximately one day at high warp."
"And how close can we get now, without any modifications to our shields before the ship is affected?"
"About point seven-five light years," B'Elanna told her. "Still too far to gather any radiation."
Kathryn continued to pace. "Seven, let me see those modification specifications again." Kathryn took the padd and looked over the data. If most of the ship's power were diverted, they might get close enough to gather the radiation, but it was a gamble. If anything went wrong,Voyager would be virtually defenseless. But a shuttle could do it, she thought.
Chakotay looked up from the information B'Elanna and Seven had presented the Captain. He didn't pretend to understand it all, but he did know one thing, it was too much of a long shot to risk the safety of the crew. "Captain, you must realize that this is too risky," he started out, not sure if he should be having this conversation in front of B'Elanna and Seven.
As if she'd come to the conclusion at the same time he did, Kathryn dismissed the engineers. When they were alone, she answered his challenge. "I know what you're thinking, Chakotay, and I agree. The risk to Voyager is too great."
Chakotay was taken aback for a moment. Kathryn agreed with him? No argument? Just leave this possible source of energy without trying to convince him?
"But I think a shuttle could do it," she added.
He knew there was a catch. "Captain… Kathryn," he amended, "why do you think a shuttle would succeed where Voyager couldn't?"
"It's a smaller mass to try to protect. The shields could be modified easier."
"But a shuttle doesn't have as much power to devote to the shields as a starship," he countered.
"They could be enhanced easier. I know this could work, Chakotay!" Kathryn cried, sitting down next to him. She hadn't even realized she'd placed her hand on his knee until she saw him staring at it. Pulling back she said, "If the shuttle crew wore environmental suits along with the enhanced shields, I think the risk would be minimal."
"Kathryn, you're letting your personal desires cloud your judgement," Chakotay pointed out.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, standing once more.
"That your desire to see this crew home sometimes causes you to lose sight of risk factors."
"I wouldn't ask this crew to do anything I wasn't willing to do myself," she said.
"I know. That's the problem," Chakotay said, rising to join her. "You aren't personally responsible for getting this crew home!"
"But I am. I'm the one who stranded us here. The buck stops here, Chakotay. I am ultimately responsible for the fate of this crew."
Chakotay sighed. They could argue this in circles for hours. "Kathryn, you know I'm right about this. And Tuvok will back me up as well."
Kathryn looked down at her hands. "You're right," she said quietly. It's just that it's hard to give up when a solution to our energy problem is within our grasp." She looked up at him then, the disappointment so evident in her eyes that it was all he could do not to pull her into his embrace and reassure her. But she wouldn't allow that. Not here. Not in her ready room. Maybe not ever.