How To Go To The Movies

Most people believe that they all ready know how to go to the movies. They are wrong of course and yes I hold that against them. What you all must learn is that the theater workers are not there for your convienience, we just really don't care. Seriously. That is why I've come up with this fabulous guide to how you should really act at the movies.

1. There are many wonderous information devices out these days including but not limited to newspapers, the internet, and even the phone. You should use these to figure out what time the movies start before you arrive at your local theater. I mean come on, the theater works like tv, the times are pretty much set barring any accidents. So help out the box office people by learning to read.

2. No theater worker cares what you have to think. We help because we get paid(not much really) and don't want to get bitched at.

3. Have your order ready before getting in the concession line or better yet don't get food, just go to the movie. If you really feel it is an absolute emergency that you have to get food then fine. Have the order completely ready, the sign is there for a reason as are the display's. The prices are there also, so try to use the little math ability that you have and try calculating the prices yourself. When ordering don't ask questions, just buy the most expensive things and don't think about it. They don't want to here any jokes about the prices or about how slow they are, just order and leave because once again they just don't care.

4. When going to the auditorium just hand your ticket to the person at podium. They know where the movie is and will tell you. Don't drop food in the halls, don't stand and chat to people, just go and sit down.

5. The movie will start when it is time, not everyone's watch has the same time, be patient. They will inform you if there are any problems. Don't get up for any reason, I don't care if your sitting on the floor because there are no seats, stay there.

6. When leaving the theater take the trash with you and throw it out. On second thought take the trash home with you and toss it there. Once again don't stop to talk, just walk out the door, get in your car and go home.

7. Ignore all the advice I just supplied. Don't leave your house. That is the only way you will stay sane. Trust me, there is this stuff at the theaters that makes you stupid. So I recommend that you just stay away.

Now you know what to do in these situations, just do what I tell you and you'll do just fine.