Scene Four



 
 
 

Backdrop rises and we are in a huge room with a great long window upstage right. There are many shelves, but they are all empty. Downstage left are what looks like four computers on individual stands with a chair in front of each. The computers obviously do not work and appear to be centuries old. TEENALUNA leads DEEDELUS, CHANTARA, MAXIMUSH, SOMA, and MILLIAMA on from the left. GUARDS follow behind them. DEEDELUS and CHANTARA are both shocked by what they see.
 
DEEDELUS
But this can’t be!

CHANTARA

Where are all the books?

TEENALUNA

No books were found. Only these four…I can’t remember what they’re called…com-somethings…companions, that’s it.

CHANTARA

But all the knowledge of the world…

TEENALUNA

The way I understand it there was simply too much information. People were up to their ears with information. So they used to come in and sit at these things and look at pictures---all of them having to do with some variation of the sex act.

DEEDELUS

Not the Library at Marianat!

TEENALUNA

What’s Marianat?

DEEDELUS

That’s where the Library is that we’ve been searching for!

TEENALUNA

Never heard of it.

MILLIAMA

So what the schluck is this?

TEENALUNA

The Library at Bimbuktu, of course.

CHANTARA

But the funga men…

SOMA

Man, we done got screwed.

MILLIAMA

You schluckin’ better believe it.

DEEDELUS

Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now. Thank you very much, Madame Teenaluna. You were very kind to show this to us. We’ve taken up enough of your time. It’s a long journey home. So we’d better leave now.

TEENALUNA

Who said anything about leaving? (GUARDS have snapped to attention and formed a cordon blocking the exit.)
CHANTARA
We can’t impose on your hospitality.

TEENALUNA

Oh, it’s no imposition.

DEEDELUS

Why are those men blocking the exit?

TEENALUNA

Not to worry. I treat my things very well indeed.

SOMA

Things?!

TEENALUNA

You see…
                                        Every room in this castle
                                        Is brimming with things---
                                        And I am their protector.
                                        Every room in this castle
                                        Is swimming with things,
                                        For I am a natural born collector. I never throw anything away, away---
If it is here, then it is here to stay.
If I find it, I must inspect it,
If I inspect it, I must collect it.

I never throw anything away, away---
If it is here, then it is here to stay.
If I ‘m not looking and I am shown it,
If I am shown it, I have to own it.

I love acquiring,
I love accumulation;
I love aspiring
To own the whole damned nation.
I simply gotta
Keep on consumin’
Whether gold or terra cotta
Or merely human.

I never throw anything away, away---
I could care less if it’s flesh or clay---.
If I find it, I must admire it,
If I admire it, I must acquire it.
So, my friends, I’m afraid you are here to stay
For I never throw anything away, away.
DEEDELUS
For the love o’ the Beast, you mean that….? (GUARDS form a line behind TEENALUNA as THEY begin an intricate chorus number.)
GUARDS
                                        Every room in this castle
                                        Is brimming with things---
                                        And she is their protector.
                                        Every room in this castle
                                        Is swimming with things,
                                        For she is a natural born collector. She never throws anything away, away---
If it is here, then it is here to stay.
If she finds it, she must inspect it,
If she inspects it, she must collect it.

She never throws anything away, away---
If it is here, then it is here to stay.
If she‘s not looking, and she is shown it,
If she is shown it, she has to own it.

She loves acquiring,
She loves accumulation;
She loves aspiring
To own the whole damned nation.
She simply gotta
Keep on consumin’
Whether gold or terra cotta
Or merely human.

She never throws anything away, away---
She could care less if it’s flesh or clay---.
If she finds it, she must admire it,
If she admires it, she must acquire it.
So, my friends, we’re afraid you are here to stay
For she never throws anything away, away.
 
 
 

(MILLIAMA, DEEDELUS, CHANTARA, SOMA and MAXIMUSH regard Teenaluna with horror.)
   
LIGHTS SLOWLY DIM
 


 


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