OK, here we go again... Oh, the reason there’s no report there about how much Dr Pepper I’ve had is because I haven’t had any. I know, amazing, eh? I gave it up for lent. Scary... 40 days w/ out DP. It’s getting difficult... it especially was when I was home. It’s terrible here when they’re out of rootbeer... I have to drink Slice. Sprite and 7UP are good, but Slice has a nasty aftertaste to it... The DP/7UP Inc. family of sodas... DP, 7UP, A&W, (I think RC is a 7UP brand...), Squirt... That’s all I know. What else... good, now I ran out of all the crap I was going to say. Co-dependent? Who? Me? Ha! I couldn’t possibly be co-dependent. I mean, come on, I can survive... um... 1... 2... 3... 4... maybe 5 days w/ out her... Doh!
Wow, am I running out already? Um... stuff... stuff... Oh, it seems there’s a general bad opinion of Dan and Scott in this wing... and somewhat of me. How nice. The wing that is supposed to be the leader of community in this dorm is excluding me and 2 of my better friends. I just typed fried there instead of friend at first. Fried shrimp. I wonder how they all are? Oh boy, I know one thing. Many of them have started drinking... It is absolutely disgusting to me how few people I know who don’t. All these great people, they’re all turning to it... I have this strange feeling I know you (who, rather) is behind it. I think a long time friend of mine may have been an influence on many of them. He calls what I do (i.e. not drinking) stupid. How exactly is not drinking more stupid than drinking? What bad things does NOT drinking do to you? I can think of plenty bad things drinking does to you. Most of them are obvious and are pounded into your head by D.A.R.E. and other school programs, and by your parents. A lot of faith I have in those at the moment. It doesn’t seem to work very well. Then again, what else do you say other than what those programs try to teach? They tell you pretty much everything, and it seems plenty bad to me... so why do so many people ignore it? Where the hell is society going? I mean, I’ve run into many girls on the internet who have had sex at age 14... even 13. One girl who’s not quite 15 says she’s had sex 28 times. And this is after I had said that I didn’t think that made people cool. So it’s not even an exaggeration to try to be cool. Sickening. What good does it do? How much better it would be if people could wait until they’re married... I mean, to know that your partner waited... it just would make you feel so special, they waited all this time for you. You are the person who is special enough to finally be the one they have sex w/... I know I plan on waiting. I realize it’s possible I will fail in my goal, but I haven’t yet, and there have been some times it would have been damn easy to just do it. ::shiver:: That girl... Oh, speaking of, my spring break was interesting. Friday night, the last night I was there, I had a few people over at my house. By the time I was supposed to take people home at 10, Erik, Justin and HannaH were over. HannaH didn’t have to be home until 11, so I decided I’d take Erik and Justin home first. Trusting me so greatly w/ HannaH as usual, Justin mouthed the words "Don’t do anything stupid" to me multiple times after he got out of the car. I drove off after Justin was done w/ that, in the direction of HannaH’s house. We got near her house w/ plenty of time before she needed to be home, so I kept driving so we could talk. (Of course, my parents expected me home w/ in a few minutes, since I was just dropping people off, but once again I kinda ignored being kind to them...) Eventually I stopped the car in part of HannaH’s neighborhood, since I can’t talk and drive at the same time too well. Anyway, (the darkness of the section of the street was a coincidence) we started talking eventually. She said she was scared. I got her to start explaining what she was scared of, and this was about 11. So, let us see what this means... it means that I’m already late, seeing as it wouldn’t take nearly an hour to drop people off, it means HannaH needs to be home in a couple minutes... but if I stop her now, she’ll never get it out. A little over 2 hours later (yes, 2 hours later) we started back to her house. We were both talking about how much trouble we’d be in... and worrying about her dad. Her dad gets upset fairly easily, and is quite mean when he’s mad. Anyway, we got to her house, and we thought "Oh my gosh we’re lucky!" Her dad’s van wasn’t there. Lucky break. She walked into her house, and I tried to start my car. It wouldn’t start. Now, mind you, this car always starts. A little shocked, I tried again to start it. It still didn’t start. Seeing as I was sitting in front of HannaH’s house, I became a little nervous. I turned off the headlights and tried to start it again. (::suddenly realizing a way both he and HannaH could have gotten off easier::) It still didn’t start. A van pulled up beside me, sort of cutting me off. (As if I was going anywhere...) ::shiver:: "Oh look, a van just cut me- Oh shit!" I thought, as her dad flung open his door and ran around the back of the van to my door and flung it open. I thought there was a good possibility I’d die, but this thought occurred as he was running, and shut down my emotions basically before he got there. After he flung my door open, he grabbed me around the neck and pushed my head onto the passenger seat. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!!" he yelled in my face. (His face looked quite ugly in that state, by the way... or maybe it was just scary...) He proceeded to yell at me for a while longer... the key components going something like this: "...cops are looking for you... ...never allowed to talk to her or even e-mail her again... ...if I ever see you again I’ll kill you... ...Now get out of here!" He then slammed my door shut, and got back in the van, pulling it into the driveway. ::shivering at the thought of what he did when he got inside:: The car of course started perfectly. I drove off, and "Whisper to a Scream" came on the radio. I sang ('cept I can’t sing) w/ it quite loudly. Of course, when I got home, my parents were waiting. They were quite upset... HannaH’s parents had called every half hour asking if I was back. ::sigh, trying to calm down:: Anyway, I won’t go into detail there. Major long term problems arising from this: During the time HannaH and I were talking, she had mentioned it would just be easier to kill herself. I told her not to, and that she could always talk to me. This seemed to convince her. BIG PROBLEM. Man w/ a Shotgun (HannaH’s dad) just forbade us ever communicating again. This is bad... next rambling I’ll get into the ways that’s being dealt with...

17:47

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