Attention! For purposes of this story the word Muskoka (pronounced Muskocka in some cases) is spelled as it should be pronounced. Now let's begin our story.
I was so excited that my favourite uncle was finally returning from his trip to Africa. He promised to bring me back something. After all, I was his favourite. And I was not about to be disappointed since he had never neglected to bring me back a souvenir from all his other travels. When he went to the Amazon, he brought me back a banana tree, from which I still pick and eat bananas. And when he returned from England, he brought a tiny box with tiny contents, yet it is very dear to me. You see, my uncle wanted to get a present so special for me that he reached out and touched someone. That someone was Queen Elizabeth and he had ripped out a chunk of her whitened hair. I was so proud!
When he finally walked in the door, I ran to greet him. After I gave him a big hug and welcomed him into my home (well it was really my parents' home because I was very young at the time), I noticed his shirt. It was a T-shirt that was purple, with green writing on it. The words read: "MUSKOCKA", and underneath was a purple triangle. Immediately, I questioned the shirt, because I had a sweatshirt that was exactly like his, only mine read: "MUSKOKA". My very intelligent uncle then began to explain to me about his shirt.
"The Muskocka," he said "Is an African bug. It closely resembles our Canadian beetle, but it's purple and green. I myself saw a few on my trip. They are very small and cute. I was told that they are expert flyers and feed on small bacteria that live in the sandy soils of the deserts. They also had a distinct green triangle on their back."
I was baffled. Such a bug would be a sight to see. And my uncle did bring me back a present. He got me a "MUSKOCKA" bug shirt, just like his, only smaller.
I wore that shirt whenever I had the chance and I wore it proudly. I informed all my friends about the Muskocka and how it flew and what it ate and how little it was. One of my classmates said that they had seen one, only bigger. But that classmate was known to be a pathological liar. So I didn't believe him.
In the middle of the summer, my mother sent me to go and bring a basket of goodies to my grandmother in the woods. She had sewn a bright new red cloak with a hood. Where am I getting this from? Well, anyway, it was in the middle of the summer, the sweat was pouring down my face, when I had the most awful experience in my life. (It was in Clinton after all). As I was walking, a bug, about the size of my big toe buzzed in front of my face. It scared me at first, but it was only a harmless beetle, so I hit it with the back of my hand and carried on walking. Not long after I swatted the insect, it reappeared again, almost directly in front of my nose. It was then I observed the obscure flight pattern. The bug would hover, one wing at a time. One wing would flap furiously and the other wing would hang restfully. Then, they would alternate. Also, I noticed that the beetle was a bright, iridescent purple, with an equally iridescent green triangle on the back. Realizing that this was a Muskocka,...a very large Muskocka, I screamed. It wasn't a loud scream, but I opened my mouth very wide. The bug disappeared, and as I slowly closed my mouth, the bug I noticed, quickly wisped back in front of my nose. This lightning quick movement frightened me immensely and I attempted to flee from the fearsome flying insect. Accidently, as my arms where whipping around in fury, I knocked the defenseless bug to the ground. The bug was not moving so, I observed it closely. It was dead. I carefully picked it up and held it gently in the palm of my hand. It WAS a Muskocka, a big one!
Instead of going home, where I was supposed to be going, I walked to my uncle's house. He was a bug specialist and HE could tell me why the Muskocka was so big, or even if it WAS a Muskocka at all.
As I was travelling, I noticed that my teeth were exceptionally clean, even though I had neglected to brush them that morning. That puzzled me deeply until my uncle explained the whole thing to me.
"You see my dear," he explained "When I returned back to Canada not to mention Clinton, I brought back with me a few specimens of Muskockas. Unfortunately, those specimens were exposed to terrible gases given off by Flemming's Feed Mill. These creatures being as delicate as they are or were, sadly mutated and became larger. Their wings altered, destroying their graceful flight, and their eating habits changed. Also, they developed a striking intelligence and escaped from my labs."
"But they're still purple and green, right?"
"Yes, they are."
"Well, what do they eat now?" I asked.
"I hadn't quite come to that part of my research before they broke out of their terrarium. If you would just give me five minutes, I could analyze the dead one you brought."
I handed him the corpse of the Muskocka who I had brutally murdered, and he immediately took a scalpel to it. He removed the stuff inside of the bug and looked at it under the microscope. Then he added some chemicals and looked at the results of the chemical reaction. After he recorded the results, he looked at me questioningly.
"He last ate...what appears to be a peanut butter sandwich in very small chunks. I also found remains of an O'Henry and..." He cleared his throat. "purple Flintstone Vitamins."
I quietly giggled. But then it occurred to me. I had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. And an O'Henry afterwards. And come to that, I even had a purple vitamin that morning. It was Barney.
I informed my uncle of my clever deduction. He was intreged. The Muskockas actually were feeding on the gunk between my teeth!
Unfortunately, the Muskockas didn't survive through the harsh Clinton winter and my uncle never came in contact with the Flemming's Muskockas again. I however, didn't brush my teeth for the whole summer, and my mom never found out.
"Look Mom, noooooooo cavities."
Wanda Bugger
