Bits of Knowledge I've heard...
- -Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
- -Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
- -Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
- -Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?
- -Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- -Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- -Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- -An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
- -There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.
- -People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
- -It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
- -I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.
- -Anything free is worth what you pay for it. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- -It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
- -If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
- -I don't get even, I get odder.
- In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
- -I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
- -Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
- -I am a nutritional overachiever.
- -My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
- -I am having an out of money experience.
- -I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
- -I am in shape. Round is a shape.
- -Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
- -Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
- - A day without sunshine is like night.
- -I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
- -If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
- -I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.
- -Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
- -You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
- -One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
- -It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
- -The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- -Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
- -Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- -Age doesn't always bring wisdom, Sometimes age comes alone.
- -Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
- -You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.
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