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One day Ima go to New York to a bigga hotel.
Later, I go to eat soma lunch at Drake Restaurant.
So I go back to my room inna hotel, an there's no sheet on my bed.
I go to check out ana the man at the desk, he say peace to you.
3 mice walk into a bar, pull up stools,
The first mouse downs his shot and says,
The second mouse then downs his shot and says,
The third mouse slugs his shot down, gets up and leaves.
He hollers back to them, "I'm goin' to have sex with the cat!"
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going
"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER
"No age is good to get married at....
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people."
"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling
"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
"When they're rich!" Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
"Single is better ... for the simple reason that I wouldn't want
"The first thing I'd say to them is: 'Listen up, youngins ... I
"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a
"If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy
"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than one
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"
"You can be sure of one thing--the boys would come chasing after
The Italian who came to New York...
I go down to eat soma breakfast.
I tella the the waitress I wanna two piss toast.
She branga me only onea piss.
I tella her I wanna two piss, she say go to the toilet.
I say you no understand. I wanna two piss on my plate.
She say you better no piss on the plate you sonna ma bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch.
The waitress bringa me a spoon, and a knife, but no fock.
I tella her I wanna fock.
She tellsa me everybody wanna fock.
I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch.
I calla the manager ana tell him I wanna sheet.
He tells me to go to the toilet.
So I say you no understand, I wanna sheet on the bed.
He say you better not sheet on the bed, you sonna ma bitch.
I don't even know the man ana he call me sonna ma bitch.
I say piss onna you too, you sonna ma bitch....
....I go back to Italy!!!!!
Three Brave Mice
and order 3 man-sized shots of tequilla.
"You know, I'm so brave, that when I come across a mousetrap,
I snatch the cheese before the spring snaps and then I feed
my family for a week!"
"That's nothin', I can take a fist full of Decon and
just gobble it down!"
The other two yell after him, "Hey! Where do you think you're
goin'?"
THE TRUTH ABOUT ROMANCE
(out of the mouth of babes)
How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?
means you try the next one." Kally, age 9
like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she
should keep the chips and dip coming." Allan, age 10
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you got to find out
later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10
Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
by then!" Cam, age 10
You got to be a fool to get married!" Freddie, age 6
How Can a Stranger Tell if Two People are Married?
Eddie, age 6
at the same kids." Derrick, age 8
What Do You Think Your Mom and Dad Have in Common?
What Do Most People Do on a Date?
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen
long enough." Lynnette, age 8
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
Martin, age 10
What the Children Would Do on a First Date That Was Turning Sour
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead
columns." Craig, age 9
When is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
with that." Curt, age 7
marry them and have kids with them.... It's the right thing to
do." Howard, age 8
The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?
somebody to clean up after them!" Anita, age 9
to change no diapers ...'course, if I did get married, I'd figure
something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over
for some coffee and diaper-changing." Kirsten, age 10
What Advice Do You Have for a Young Couple About to Be Married?
got something to say to you. Why in the heck do you wanna get
married, anyway?'" Craig, age 9
What Promises Do a Man and a Woman Make When They Get Married?
diseases together." Marlon, age 10
How to Make a Marriage Work
truck!" Ricky, age 7
clothes....especially red underwear that maybe has a few diamonds
on it." Lori, age 8
Getting Married for a Second Time
to find a live one." Angie L., age 10
How Would the World Be Different if People Didn't Get Married?
Kelvin, age 8
us just the same as they do now!" Roberta, age 7
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