On Betelgeuse they worship me
as savior of their race.
The Puppeteer cheer loud hurrahs
where'er I show my face.
I cannot count the times I signed
a Kzinti's Book of Dawn.
But my butt is just a Big Mac
on the planet Alderaan.

My fame has stood the test of time
in our history books.
The statues of my frame adorn
a million honored nooks.
Aristocrats of every stripe
come up to primp and fawn.
But my butt is just a Big Mac
on the planet Alderaan.

On Alderaan they say that once
I visited their world.
I wowed them and I dazzled
every boy and little girl.
I left a bit of DNA
to clone me when I'm gone.
Now my butt is just a Big Mac
on the planet Alderaan.

I'm going back to Alderaan
to tell them that I mind.
You don't have to be a Vegan
to respect the human kind.
I know the trick: I'll show them what
I use to sit upon.
Then my butt won't be a Big Mac
on the planet Alderaan!
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