The StepsOn Friday evening I was sitting at home debating if I should get started on the topic I needed to do for Saturday group, thinking " I need to get started and not put it off". I hadn't even thought of a topic yet. Then I remembered how much I hate to do something new, but how much more I hated doing something new when I was drinking. Then I realized that I had started already, and that the topic was procrastination.
When I was drinking it was always very easy to find an excuse not to start on some task, or project. "Just have another beer and I'll get to it later." Was this an easy way not to face difficulties, a calculated way of prioritizing work, or just plain laziness. I'm sure I almost always viewed it as planning on my part, but I'm also pretty sure it was just a major case of laziness compounded by a few too many drinks.
I was almost always able to put something off with some excuse that would fit the situation. These excuses weren't hard to come up with, in fact I probably had a pre chosen list of excuses just waiting to be used.
I don't know if this is a condition faced by many alcoholics, but I think it may be quite common. This may also be tied in with the fear of failure that causes many to drink too much. If you are afraid to try something, you will most likely put off doing so for as long as possible.
There is also the inability to carry out a process to its conclusion. Weather it is something that scares or frightens you or only the dislike of work. Completing a job requires a certain amount of commitment. Possibly the alcoholic is unwilling to make a commitment. This commitment might be something substantial (perhaps not), and interferes with a persons sense of independence.
Those of us who may see ourselves in this can most likely relate to the feeling of not wanting to be told what to do. Most people do not like to be bossed around, and an active alcoholic will definitely put up some resistance to most attempts by others to control him.
Now, I'm not saying I no longer put things off, or that I jump right into a project the minute it comes up. But I do tend to think more clearly of the ramifications of not doing something, or of delaying the start of a project. I can also see more clearly the result of my inactions.
This may be one of those side benefits from sobriety that isn't apparent from the outset, but is slow to build, and long lasting in your life. It is one benefit I'm glad to be aware of .
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