but not a real green dress, that's cruel.

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dateline: lake oZ

31 august 1996 11:02 p.m.

Heavy, driving rain outside. I'm almost hypnotized by the undulating static-like hiss of cars driving by. I'm trying not to short out my keyboard, I'm dripping a little. As soon as I heard the rain, I stepped out on my balcony just to watch it fall (well, it's not much of a balcony... it's about eighteen inches wide). I leaned over and pulled my hair over into "Cousin It" mode. I watched the shiny street, the scurrying packs of people leaping over flooded gutters, the orange streetlights igniting a small cone of raindrops that shine and streak as they fall... I just let myself get soaked, stopping just short of laughing like a lunatic. I love how rain smells, how it feels. You're never going to find a shower head, not even at Sharper Image, that gives you the same gentle -- almost loving -- rinse that a huge, gray cloud does. Soft, delicious (Evian, eat your heart out), wonderful, warm rain. (I used to think rain was cold, actually. Then one day, I found myself in Baltimore in December, standing on a smelly pier, and got a rude introduction to the concept of sleet.) Warm, warm rain. Finally. When it rains in Waikiki, it's like the city -- though still bright and active -- still sighs and closes its eyes to enjoy a bath. No howling from wandering idiot teens or Marines; no incessant beeping from swarms of brain-dead tourists packing three people on a moped; no dorks burning out in their PenisCars(tm)... A PenisCar(tm) is Jen's term for an automobile that makes you want to lean out and yell over the guy's rancid hip-hop music, "Sorry 'bout your penis!" Hawai`i should host a PenisCar convention. The roads crawl with them, as soon as the sun goes down. Obnoxiously-painted, mirror-plated Camaros, or shiny gold Acuras with Japanese racing stickers and neon lights, or lowered Hondas with hydraulics and ultraibright fog lights. Fog lights. In Hawai`i. I mean, Geez. (Okay, so it gets foggy atop the Pali, or way up in Manoa Valley, but these kids never leave the well-lit thoroughfares of the city.) Did you know Xena (Lucy Lawless) was on the Rosie O'Donnell show? Why didn't anyone tell me? I guess I shoulda learned by now... why depend on friends to clue you in when you've got USENET? Derek's all depressed that the 'Bows lost their first game tonight. U.H. versus Boston College at Aloha Stadium -- they won in the fourth quarter by three points. We just hired a new hotheaded Army-reject coach, and I guess everyone expected him to turn shit into sashimi in just one summer. So Derek's got his football and I've got my volleyball, which just started yesterday. While the pigskin chasers totally suck (sorry to any fans out there), both our men's and women's v-ball teams are top-ranked. The Wahine beat Massachusetts last night, the first little step on their way back to the NCAA championships. Actually, I forgot they were playing (UCLA, our arch-rivals, were also here, but were upset by the girls from Mass. earlier), and only caught the last game on TV. I think I'm going drag Derek to the next game, so he can see some real sports talent at work. (If he actually says "volleyball isn't a real sport" to me in person rather than over the phone, I'm going to remove his larnyx with a toothpick. Even if he was joking). Brendyn Agbayani... She rocks. I'm wagering she's going to be our next star. Hey, wow. I'm currently under an Urban and Small Stream Flooding Advisory. Or at least, so says Maria Quiban, one of Hawaii's many dizzy weather women. Doesn't bode well for the concert at the Shell (Waikiki's rockingest concert venue) tomorrow. I'm not sure if Derek likes rain as much as I do. Derek, me, a big bag o' food, a blanket and some live Hawaiian music. Oh, and an umbrella. I have no idea who's appearing, but it's all the buzz. Derek was stoked that he could get tickets. To be honest, I'm not really a fan of Hawaiian music... but a picnic's a picnic. Before that (if I wake up early enough), we might also hit the Okinawa festival next door at Kapi`olani Park. Mmmmm. If the same lunch stands are there as last year, I might just forget the bag o' food and invest in some Pepto. Mysteriously hairy or not, them Northerners sure know how to cook! I just read that Jay will be there too. Wonder what his girlfriend would do if I actually indulged his invitation to rub his butt?