You are standing on the rich, lush grass that makes up the first tee at your favorite country club golf course. There is a cool, gentle breeze whispering through the pines as the sun peeks above the horizon, wishing you 'Good Morning,' and beckoning you to begin your odyssey through the tranquil surroundings. Once completely serene, this natural paradise has had eighteen challenges carved from within, allowing mankind to test his skills against the rolls, forests, lakes, and hills that have existed since the dawn of time.
The spikes have been tightened, the
driving range but a memory, and the putting green has several streaks cut
through the dew that gently settled upon it the night before. The stretching
is done and the tee has been tossed, determining who should be the first
to break the silence of the early morn. The victor, having the first
honors of the day, pushes the peg in the ground and lays the dimpled sphere
upon its top. A last rehearsal of the swing with a driver, or perhaps
a spoon or mashie, in hand. The last scan of the target and you step up
to address the ball. It is at this time when you turn and look at
your partners and ask the most important of questions:
"Uh....., how many Mulligans a side
are we getting?"
Coaches' Rules
The way the rest of play golf!!!!!
Let's face reality. You do not play this ridiculous game because you "like the challenge," or, "it is relaxing," or even (my favorite), "I want to play on the Seniors' Tour when I reach 50." If these are the reasons that you own golf clubs and spend 30, 40 even 50 dollars or more on greens fees, more power to you. I believe, however, that you are, completely misguided as to the real purpose of golf.
I realize that I will not become Tiger Woods, Jack Nicholas, or David Duval overnight. In reality, I will never even come close to their ability. No amount of money spend on Calloway Big Bertha drivers, nor Olimar Tri-Metal woods, nor Ping II irons, nor titanium putters will decrease my score by more than, oh, let's say, five strokes. Seeing as how that drops me from an average of 118 to 113, I really don't see the necessity in spending that kind of dough. I think that money could be much better spent on a really huge golf bag that can conceal many beverages from golf course management. (Not that I endorse this practice in any way, unless I know in advance that I can get way with it!)
So what is the purpose behind playing golf?? Fun. That is it. Fun. The only reason we should really do anything. And I know that it is almost impossible to have fun on a golf course if I have some guy quoting rule 4, paragraph III, section 5(c)(a), saying why it is illegal to remove doggie doo-doo from my golf ball that happened to land in some schmuck's backyard without a two-stroke penalty. It is penalty enough to have your fellow golfers remind you over and over again about where your ball has been to have to take a two-stroke penalty as well.
It is my feeling, as well as those who have contributed over the years, that the USGA Rules of Golf are great things for professional golfers. Not us. We have therefore developed these rules, known affectionately as "Coaches' Rules," as almost all of us who were involved in the development of this system of golf have coached a sport at our respective schools.
Therefore, the following pages outline the rules by which we play this most noble of games, golf. These rules are not written in stone, and you are permitted, even encouraged, to amend them as you see deem necessary to better fit your particular game, course, playing partners, or situation. After all, without the ability to improvise, these rules would never been written.