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Some kids respond negatively to positive reinforcement. If you praise them for doing something well, they will turn around and do the opposite. If you reward them for good behavior during the morning, they will make your entire afternoon miserable! You know how much these kids need encouragement, but you're afraid to give it to them!
Why do they do this? They may be very sensitive to the possibility of being manipulated. They perceive praise and rewards as attempts to manipulate them into doing what you want. They may also fear that you will start expecting too much of them-- they are afraid they won't be able to live up to your expectations. Low self-esteem can be a factor too; they may feel undeserving of praise or rewards.
What to do instead: DON'T GIVE UP! Use specific, brief praise. If you overpraise or over-reinforce, they will have an opposite reaction.
You can use the "Hit and Run" method-- walk up to them and give a quick positive statement or thumbs up, and then walk away fast! Also, sometimes they respond well to charting their progress toward a goal; this seems to make them feel more in control. When they reach the goal and receive the positive reinforcement, they know they've earned it!
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© 1999-2000, Ruth Donnelly, unless otherwise noted.