Although it is good for a man not to touch a woman, in order to avoid fornication or illicit sex every man should have his own wife and every woman should have her own husband. Paul possesses a high opinion of marriage, but the apostle rules out concubinage, polygamy and other liaisons.
3 - 5 There are certain responsibilities incumbent upon every husband and every wife; first of all, they are to fulfill each others sexual obligations. The King James Version refers to it as "due benevolence," the Revised Standard Version calls it "conjugal rights." The word is opheilen meaning "that which is owed" or "a debt." Common sense would demand compatibility as an obligation of the marriage contract. Kistemaker writes, "With keen insight into the intimacies of married life, Paul declared that both husband and wife should fulfill their conjugal duties toward each other. He stresses the equality of male and female in respect to marital union,'Let the husband fulfill his marital duty to his wife and similarly the wife to her husband'" (p. 212).
The powers to abstain from fornication is held by each party of the marriage contract. Even dedicated Christians feel the need for sexual gratification, and the marriage partner can satisfy that need. God has created that need within the human psyche. The word exosia translated "power" in this verse and in 6:12 means "power of choice," "leave" or "permission." Each party of the marriage contract is subject to the wishes of the other party; Paul forbids the rebuff which may lead to broken marriages. "(Paul) states that the wife has no authority over her own body, but that the husband has this power; and vice versa, the husband has no power over his own body, but his wife has this authority. John Albert Bengel correctly calls this verse 'a elegant paradox'" (Kistemaker, p. 212). It is true that in the Ephesian letter (5:22), Paul writes, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord," but he also wrote in verse 25, "Husband, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Sometimes unfaithful husbands quote Ephesians 5:22, but they forget Ephesians 5:25. On the other hand dictatorial wives may quote 5:25 but forget 5:22.
The couple, husband and wife, are not to defraud (apostereite) or withhold sex from one another; that is, abstain from sex except for a time when they give themselves to prayer. Even then the abstinence should be by common consent (sumphonou) or agreement. Following that period of prayer and abstinence from sex, they should come together again that Satan might not tempt them for their incontinency (akrasian) or want of self control. "The order here is "Enjoy sex...forego sex...pray...resume sex activity, lest unfulfilled sex desire drive you to immorality" (Yeager, p. 458). "Paul allows abstinence from marital relations on three conditions: first, if both husband and wife agree to do so; next, if both concur that abstinence is for a limited period; and third, if both use this time for prayer" (Kistemaker, p. 213).
6, 7 Paul now writes by way of concession (suggnomen) or permission; we would say, "off the cuff." During periods of great spiritual concentration and witnessing with the message of the gospel of Christ it may be wise to abstain from sexual activity; energy should be devoted to witnessing with the Word.
Paul now deals with a subject that some find controversial. Was Paul married, or single; had he been married and was now a widower? He says, "For I would that all men were even as I myself..." Whatever his marital state, he concludes the verse, "But every man hath his proper gift of God, one of one kind and one of another." Paul views marriage as proper for those who seek married life, but for those who desire to remain single for the work's sake it is commendable. One wonders what kind of a married life would Paul have had as he traveled far and wide preaching the gospel. He would never have been at home for any length of time. Paul was able to sublimate his sex drive and devote himself to the preaching of the gospel and traveling on his missionary journeys. 8, 9 If a person is unmarried (agamois) or single (masculine gender) or is a widow (cherais) or bereft of a husband and desire to remain so, Paul says, "It is good for them if they abide even as I." If, however, a person cannot remain sexually pure (egkrateuontai) or exercise self-control, he or she should marry for it is better to marry than to burn (purousthai) or be inflamed with lust and passion. Gould writes, "It is good not to marry, but better, on account of fornication, to marry than to have inflamed and unsatisfied passions" (p. 59). If a person cannot avoid immorality, he or she should marry. Marriage is not a sin; Hebrews 13:4 reads, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." "Ideally the mature Spirit-filled Christian will never yield to the desires of the flesh whether he is married or not" (Yeager, p 463).
10, 11 Those who are married, even though the spouse may become a Christian, are not to dissolve the marriage, separate (choristhenai) or depart from the partner. Not every time does the husband and wife become Christians, but many times one marriage partner will be saved, but the other is antagonistic to Christianity. Paul admonishes the Christian marriage partner to remain married to their unsaved spouse. He seems to remind his readers that this is his own opinion. "Paul had no commands from Jesus to the unmarried (husbands and wives), but Jesus had spoken to the married (husbands and wives) as in Matthew 5:31f; 19:3 - 12; Mark 10:9 - 12; Luke 16:18. The Master had spoken plain words about divorce...In Mark 10:9 we have from Christ: 'What therefore God joined together let not man put asunder" (Robertson, p. 126).
If a woman departs or dissolves the marriage contract, then she must remain unmarried or be reconciled (katallageto) to her husband, and the husband should not put away (aphienai) or send away his wife. If the marriage contract is broken by the woman she has two choices (1) she can remain single, or (2) she can go back to her husband. Paul may not forbid a wife to leave her husband on other grounds; he does forbids her to leave him in order to live with another man (Yeager, p. 465). "Paul here makes no allowance for remarriage of the innocent party as Jesus does by implication" (Robertson, p. 127).
12 - 16 Paul's opinion (there is nothing specific from the Lord about it) is that, "If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away or divorce her." A saved person "marches to a different drummer," than does the unsaved; they have different interests and desires. If the reverse is so - "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him;" the same principle applies. Verses 12 and 13 may be the result where one is converted to Christ and the other is an unbeliever.
Verse 14 reads, "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified (egiastai) or hallowed by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else were your children unclean (akatharta) or illegitimate, but now they are holy (agia)." "Having been married in the past the union is now socially sanctioned. In this sense the unbeliever is 'sanctified' as the legitimate mate of his or her Christian wife or husband. This is social, not theological sanctification. Paul is not saying that unsaved husbands or wives are saved by virtue of their marriage to Christians. Our Lord has no brother/sister-in-laws. If this were not true the children born to such unions would be illegitimate, which is not the case. On the contrary the children also are set apart as legitimate children of a legitimate union" (Yeager, p. 468). Calvin writes, "For the godliness of the one does more to 'sanctify' the marriage than the ungodliness of the other to make it unclean" (Kistemaker, p. 224),.
If the unbeliever departs (chorixetai) or separates, Paul says, "Let him depart." If the spouse deserts or separates from his or her mate the remaining mate is not under bondage (dedoulotai) or enslaved; the remaining party has no obligation to the one who departed. If the couple remain married, there is a possibility that the unbelieving spouse can be won to the Lord by the believing spouse. The Christian should never initiate separation proceedings. "But God has called us to peace..."
Even circumcision or uncircumcision mean nothing when it comes to acceptance in God's kingdom and serving the Lord. If a person is uncircumcised (this applies to Gentile Christians) when called to salvation, remain uncircumcised. If a person is circumcised (this applies to Hebrew Christians), remain circumcised; no changes are necessary. "In the days of Antiochus Epiphanes there was a gymnasium built in Jerusalem and those who took part in the games, having to appear naked, underwent the operation in order to escape the odium attached to circumcision' (Gould, p. 62). There is no difference with God in New Testament times and following whether a person is circumcised or uncircumcised. Circumcision was the seal of an Old Testament covenant. In Romans (2:28, 29) Paul wrote, "For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision which is outward in the flesh; but he is a Jew who is one inwardly and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God." The Gentile has no need to fear inferiority toward his Jewish brother; they are both "one in the Lord."
In verses 21 - 24 Paul takes up the subject of slavery. God saves those in servitude as well as those who are masters. The slave may be under bondage socially and politically, but if he is saved he is a freeman (apeleutheros) or manumitted in the Lord. Even if the slave is mistreated by an ungodly and unsaved master, he should take it peacefully. II Timothy 2:24 reads, "And the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all men..." The slave is technically freer than his master; "a lost master is in more slavery than a saved slave, who is in bondage to his master on earth and to Christ, spiritually, but is free from the law of sin and death" (Yeager, p. 478). If, however, the master is saved and desires to free his slaves, the slaves are to accept their freedom, but they must remember that they are servants of the Lord Jesus Christ. "The apostle would have the Christian slave remember that he has been freed from the worst slavery, and so need not trouble himself about the lower and less important relation in which he is a slave" (Gould, p., 64). The saved slave may also win his master to the Lord if he calmly and peacefully performs his duties. Paul now reminds the Christian, whether slave or master, that we are "bought with a price." We have been bought from the slave market by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ (II Peter 2:1; Revelation 5:9; 14:3, 4). Abide (meneto) or dwell in the calling in which you were called, Paul says (verse 24); we are to work side by side with God (para Theo).
If, however, a person desires to marry a wife, they will not sin in doing so. If a young lady (virgin) seeks to marry, she does not sin. He also determines that if a person marries, there will be responsibilities to family that may sometimes interfere with a full dedication to the Lord (verse 34). Those who are married have obligations to the family that the unmarried may not have. Yeager writes, "(Paul) implies that an unmarried Christian, who, by God's grace, has no domineering compulsion for sex (verse 25) is in a better position to devote all of his energies for Christ than one who is married" (p. 483).
In view of the Second Coming of the Lord, those who have wives will "...be as though they had none." There will be no marrying or giving in marriage in the kingdom age; when the Lord comes back the marriage bond will be loosed. The activities of the former life will be over when the Lord comes; there will be no owning of property and those who operated within the world's system will no longer operate as they do before the Lord's coming. "The tragedy that brings tears or the good fortune that brings joy, or the commercial transaction that shows a profit or the business administration of one's property or any other activity in which the Christian functions as a unit of world society is only temporary" (Yeager, p. 486). The world as we now know it will pass away; those who use or abuse (katachromenoi) the world enterprises will have no more dealings with each other. The Messianic age will be ushered in and things will not be the same; the fashion (schema), scheme or form of this world will pass away.
Paul urges the Christians not to get too involved in worldly affairs, for they are temporary. "A Christian should never become thoroughly involved with his earthly milieu, whether his involvement is marriage, sex and reproduction of the next generation, weeping with the sad, rejoicing with the glad, buying in the market place or investing in the world system with a view to cornering the market" (Yeager, p. 488). All these things will pass away.
In all of life the Christian is to please the Lord, and looking forward to His coming should affect all things that he does in the flesh. The interests of the married are divided (memeristai) or frustrated; he is interested in pleasing the Lord and how he may care for his family. A wife is entangled with the cares of her family; the unmarried are more free to do the things of the Lord (34); his or her interests are not divided.
Paul does not wish to cast a snare (brochon) or trap upon the human race, but wishes to speak these things to profit (sumphoron) or advantage to those of the Corinthian church. The single can give undivided attention to the things of the Lord and are able to serve the Lord without distraction (aperispastos) or hindrances.
In verse 36 and following verses Paul speaks of fathers who have young daughters (virgins). If the father wishes to give his daughter in marriage he does not sin if he does so. It must be remembered that in Paul's culture, the parents of children made the decisions who their sons or daughters would marry. These decisions were not left up to the young men and young women. Even though the coming of the Lord was looked upon as near, if the daughters of a family wanted to marry and raise a family, the parents should let them do so. Whenever a daughter reaches womanhood or the flower of her age (huperakmos); that is, fully developed sexually and hence with a compelling sex drive, the father does not sin if he permits his daughter to marry her fiancé. "It seems to say that when two young people are deeply in love and greatly desirous of the sex experience, they should not be forbidden to marry because of anything Paul has said against marriage. He concedes that marriage between Christians is not wrong under these circumstances. He is not suggesting his approval of pre-marital sex. 'Let him do what he pleases' means that if he marries her he had not sinned" (Yeager, p. 495).
In verse 37 Paul writes if the father who does not permit his daughter to marry, he does well as long as she can resist the physical pressures incumbent upon the young person. So "..he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better." "Apparently the Corinthians were in embarrassment. Some young women remained unmarried on ascetic grounds and this led to unchastity. Others simply refused to marry. When Paul is asked for advice (cf vs. 25: concerning virgins) he states that he does not have any commandment of the Lord, but he points to what he considers the best solution. And his advice is dominated by the idea that the Christian life ought to be directed not toward the earth but toward heaven. Marriage, however, is a creation ordinance and is also necessary to prevent sin in an ungodly world" (Grosheide, pp. 183, 184).
39 "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth, but if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord." The bond of holy matrimony binds a person as long at that person's mate lives; however, death severs that bond. If either the surviving husband or wife marries, they should marry with the sanction of the Lord.
40 "But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment; and I think also that I have the Spirit of God." To abide means to remain a widow or remain free. This is Paul's judgment but he says he thinks he writes with the authority of the Lord behind him. Paul gives this advise in view of the soon Coming of the Lord. He thinks the coming of the Lord is imminent, so he says celibacy is better, since it allows the child of God to devote all of his energy to the service of Christ (Yeager, p. 500).
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G. Campbell Morgan sums up the chapter by writing, "In the light of this teaching let the sons and daughters of the King settle the question of marriage always under the limitation of their own relationship to the King, consenting or refusing as such action will help or hinder the realization of His purposes...How many a man has been wrecked and ruined, and some of them in the ministry, because they had become enamored of a woman whose loyalty to Christ was not their loyalty to Christ. The whole thing is expressed by Paul elsewhere, 'Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers'" (pp. 104, 105).
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