- NONE! He's dead!
- None. He's the SUN of God!
somebody shoot us....
None. There were no lightbulbs in 4 BC
NONE! Let the dirty-footed nutjob preach in the dark! somebody pray for us...
None. The semi-divine radiance created by the lightning bolt decimating the infidel spawners of
this page will be sufficient.
None. Since I am a Gosh-Fearing christian, I don't believe in such heathen things as Light Bulbs. (submitted by John "Mr. Irreverent" Kostelecky wearing the Slate Black Versace Boxers)
None. Let his followers do it all for him. (submitted by Billy Bob Tomison wearing the Slate Black Versace Boxers.)
None. Jesus is chaste and would never consider screwing anything anytime anywhere. (submitted by Natalie Drezt wearing only Chanel No. 5)
Seeing as Jesus is a name now used primarily in Latin America I'd be forced to point out that the ancient Romans despite their proficiency with a crucifix did not have lightbulbs. Thus none. Alternatively you could just say Castro won't let em. (submitted by ethnically ambigious Wipqmio Emizo wearing The Complete Red Leather Thriller Outfit with Black Fringes)
None. Don't you people know that Jesus glows. Look at him in all those pictures. (submitted by the observative Brian Egnor wearing Just the Facts Ma'am)
None, for Jesus is the LIGHT OF THE WORLD and doesn't need any light bulbs. But we as human beings not yet enlightened by our own divinity still need lightbulbs. But now for a imited time only you can have the light of Jesus with your own glow in the dark three inch tall statue of Jesus for only $19.95. But WAIT if you act now we will send you NOT one NOT two BUT three GLOW IN THE DARK JESUSES FOR THE INCREDIBLE LOW PRICE OF $19.95 plus $10.00 shiping and handling. (submitted by the only man who can start every 3 out of 4 sentences with the word "But", Jimmie "give me all your money so I can build the biggest church in the world so Jesus can see how much work I am doing to save the world from their sins and make me rich in the process" Swagart wearing "Just the Facts, Ma'am".)
None. I don't believe in lightbulbs...much less Jesus. They were all created by Jimmy Swaggart as a way to make money for his illicit hooker habit. (submitted by Mistress Flea wearing nothing but her nipple rings, tattoos and a crying baby. Which raises the question of what shoes to wear with the crying baby. Pumps? Sneakers? Someting with a chunky heel? What?)
None. Jesus doesn't screw, he gets nailed.(submitted by Ned Limpopo. Short and sweet, Ned. Wearing Slate Black "doo dee doo dee doo, ACK! I just got gunned down outside my home" Boxers.
None. Mexicans can't afford electricity.(submitted by Kunta Sensei: Underpaid Mexican secretary at large. Last seen wearing a banana yellow jumpsuit with soldering gunholster. NAFTA, NAFTA, NAFTA!)
None. Jesus doesn't need lightbulbs because the holy spirit decends upon him regularly in the form of a disposable cigarette lighter. Well, it looks like one, anyway.(submitted by Becky wearing 100% holy spirit cotton, body of christ boxers, and God Hush Puppies.)
